small_gifts | Fic: A Sirius Black Christmas for remuslives23

Title: A Sirius Black Christmas
Author:

wook77
Written for:

remuslives23
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Exchanging gifts at midnight on Christmas Eve
Summary: Sirius Black is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree.
Any other notes, warnings, etc.:

remuslives23, I tried my hardest to make this fluffy for you. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I simply do not do fluff (or at least, I don't do it well) so hopefully this is both fluffy and pleasing for you. Many many thanks to my betas,

midnitemaraud_r,

gryffindor_j and

elanorofcastile for kicking my ass when it was needed and helping to get this thing into shape. All remaining mistakes are, of course, my own. Also – my gratitude to the mods for being so understanding with the extensions. <3. Title and summary are shamelessly paraphrased from A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Sirius can't quite catch his breath as they crouch in the middle of what feels like a forest of ailing trees. There are hundreds of them wrapped up in twine and burlap, all leaning one on another against the back fence of the tree lot. They're surrounded by Muggles, which isn't exactly the safest place to hide considering that they've just broken up a Death Eater revelry down the block. But Sirius can't catch his breath, and Moony's still suffering the effects of a hex they hadn't heard cast.

They have to stop here for now. Moony's not well enough to Apparate by himself, and Sirius's heart's pounding so hard and erratically that he doesn't trust himself with Moony's safety. If he were just Apparating his own body it'd be one thing, but Moony, and an injured one at that? He can't do it.

"I'm fine, Sirius," Moony says through clenched teeth.

"Right you are. I'm just here to peruse the trees. What do you think of that one?" Sirius points across the lot at an overly large fir. "Think it'll fit in the flat?"

"Not even if you shrink it." Moony's less purple in the face, and Sirius can feel the band around his heart loosen a touch.

"What about that one?" Sirius points to a tree currently being wrestled into submission by a man while his children dance around him.

"Taken."

"That one?"

"Too fat."

"That one?"

"Too skinny."

"That one?"

"Too scraggly."

"That one?"

"Too fluffy."

"That one?" By this point, Sirius is becoming exasperated. He's forgotten all about the Death Eaters and the interrupted revelry because all of a sudden, it's a challenge, like Moony's waving a flag in front of him and daring him. He has to find a tree that Remus will approve of.

"You think we can just get home instead of worrying over a tree we aren't going to buy?" There's a thread of pain in his voice, bringing Sirius right back to the reality of why they're at the lot hiding in amongst the bundled trees in the first place.

"You need some help or can you make it on your own?" Sirius stands and offers a hand to Remus.

"I've had worse," Remus says.

"Right. Regular old veteran of pain you are. Foot soldier, slogging on underneath the banner of pain, delighted to serve your lord and master diligently to the end of your days. I'm in awe," Sirius says snidely as he grabs Remus and yanks him to his feet with very little pomp or ceremony.

"Pain is a bitch of a master but she treats me well." Remus sketches a quick bow.

"You're an arse."

"One that you love." Remus grins and Sirius lets his anger at Remus, for Remus, go.

"Come on. Home." Sirius hugs Remus close and then, without looking to see if anyone's watching or not, Apparates them to an alley. He waits for a moment and Apparates again, this time to a secluded corner of a public park. After another brief pause, he Apparates them to their flat. "Let's get you to bed."

"I'm not an invalid. It's a simple hex, Sirius."

"Fine!" Sirius throws his hands up in the air and stalks to the door, slamming it behind him before his temper can catch hold of his tongue and have him say something he's bound to regret. Sodding bloody Remus can't even see that maybe, just maybe he could use a spot of mothering, and it's not like Sirius is inclined toward providing it most of the time. His temper has full reign and so he kicks the wall and then, for good measure, pulls back and kicks it again, harder.

Without another thought, he Apparates to the park and walks aimlessly down one of the footpaths. With the wind blowing and the fact that it's well after dark, it's cold but Sirius doesn't much mind. He hunches his shoulders and digs his hands deeper into his pockets, continuing to ramble along, and not thinking about the fact that Remus can't see when he needs help.

When he finally looks up from the pavement, he finds himself back at the tree lot. The Muggle is closing it up, tying a rope across the front of the entrance and tidying the needles that have fallen. Another Muggle loads a tree on top of his auto while yet another swings a bundled tree onto his shoulder and walks off down the street.

"You'll have to come back tomorrow," one of the Muggles says.

"Yeah, no worries," Sirius responds, and watches as the little clear lights turn off.

Once they're all gone, he sneaks a glance to the right and then to the left before disabling the locks and entering the lot. He wanders in the middle of all of them, touching branches and peering at trunks. When he turns to leave and wander somewhere else for a while, he spots it: the most perfect tree in the entire world. It's not too tall, not too short. It's not too full and not too thin. He reaches in and gives the trunk a good shake. When barely any needles cascade to the ground, he brings it in close and then Disapparates away.

He lands in a different park across London, and Apparates to a parking lot before Disapparating once more, this time to the flat. Remus isn't anywhere to be seen but Sirius doesn't care – he doesn't, he really, really doesn't, not in the least.

"What the hell is that?" Sirius hears as he leans the tree against the wall next to the fireplace.

"It's a tree," he says calmly.

"Are you sure? It looks a bit off."

"It's a tree. In fact, it's our Christmas tree."

"It's awful."

At that, Sirius turns around and glares at Remus. "What's so wrong with it?"

"It has about five branches, of which, only three seem to have any sort of needles on them. It's the saddest excuse for a tree I've ever seen. Please tell me you didn't pay too much money for this."

"I didn't pay a cent for it," Sirius says defensively. "It's a perfectly good tree. Not too fat, not too thin, not too tall and definitely not too short. It works perfectly."

"It's awful. Someone should be kind enough to put it out of its misery."

"It reminded me of you!" Sirius shouts.

"Pardon?" Remus looks insulted and his voice has gone calm and low, a sure sign that he's about to lose his temper.

"There's nothing wrong with the tree that a little care and attention won't fix. It's a perfectly good tree; you just have to see the potential in it."

"Ahh," Remus says and leans against the wall. "We've no ornaments."

"Nothing a bit of ingenuity and a spot of shopping won't cure."

Sirius walks over to stand by Remus before turning and staring at the tree. It really is sort of sad. The branches droop and there are a couple of bald spots. One of the branches is broken, and the trunk crooks to the right a bit about midway up. It's an ugly tree and he hasn't a clue why he'd picked it out.

"You're right. It's a shite tree." Sirius pulls out his wand, ready to banish it. Remus's hand stills his own, pushing his wand back down to his side.

"It's a good tree," Remus says, squeezing his hand. "We'll go tomorrow and get some things for it?"

"Yeah, all right." As Remus leads him towards the bedroom, Sirius looks back at the sad little tree. Perhaps with the right amount of lights and ornaments on it, no one would notice that it bent to the right.

!*!

After an afternoon spent with Mrs Potter, Sirius returns with his pilfered ornaments and decorations. Moony is nowhere to be found. That's quite all right with Sirius. He'll make this tree beautiful if for no other reason than Moony thinks it's ugly. Before he starts decorating, he turns on the Wizarding Wireless and the sounds of holiday music fill the air. A quick exploration of the box and he starts with the tinsel, sending it onto the tree and another flick sends the fairy lights.

The fairies giggle and wave as they land on the tree while sparkling at one another. They look about and their giggles fade before coming back even stronger as they make fun of the tree. "None of that! I've had enough, thanks!" Sirius bellows but the fairies only giggle at him. More giggles, louder than the Wireless, come as he hangs the ornaments in giant clusters to cover the areas devoid of needles. .

"Where'd you get the ornaments?" Remus asks just before the door closes. He hadn't heard the door but, considering the music and the fairies, it's no surprise.

"Mrs Potter," he says as he places the hand-crafted Father Christmas ornament on the tree.

"They're brilliant." Arms wrap around Sirius while Remus's chin rests on his shoulder. The fairies giggle and wave at Remus and he waves back before hugging Sirius once more.

"James was quite the ornament maker, wasn't he?" Sirius pulls out a small, wooden ball with bright orange and red fabric glued to it. Sirius thinks it might have been a lion but that's more because of the half-hearted growls and roars than the arrangement of the bits and bobs of fabric.

"Quite." Remus takes the ornament from his hands and places it in a bare spot on the tree.

Sirius can't resist Remus's face ever so close so he kisses him on the cheek. It's a kiss that quickly turns into mouths and need as Remus turns to him and presses their lips together. Sirius always wonders how it can go from simply friendly teasing to ohmygodnow, but it does all the time. When they pull back, Sirius leans his forehead against Remus's and gasps, trying to catch a breath.

"Happy Christmas, Sirius," Remus whispers.

"Happy Christmas, Remus," Sirius whispers back. "I can't wait until it's actually Christmas."

"Good thing you've only got about ten minutes then," Remus responds.

Sirius leaps back and looks around. "Are you kidding me?"

"Not at all. It's ten minutes to midnight." Remus walks over to the sofa and offers a large box with brightly coloured paper on it. "Want to do this now or later?"

Sirius feels trapped. He's been so fixated on the Order and James and Lily and Harry and the tree (the bloody, fucking tree!), that he's totally and completely forgotten to get Remus or anyone else a gift. He's a pillock, a fucking pillock for this. He's also going to be sent to the sofa for the rest of his life for being such a fucking pillock.

"Give me a bit," Sirius says and then gestures towards the sofa. "Stay there a moment."

"Big surprise?" Remus asks as he dutifully sits down, box perched on his lap.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sirius hurries into the kitchen and looks around for anything he can use. When he spots a small stack of parchment next to the phone, he grins. It takes four drawers to find a quill, and a few minutes more of searching to find ink . Cursing under his breath at himself, he scribbles down a few words on the first sheet, and then goes to the next, and then the next, and the one after that. It takes him another few minutes to fill them all. He taps them on the counter, aligning the corners and runs his wand across the top edge, sealing them together like one of Remus' Muggle tablets.

He frowns at it a moment, then flicks his wand, and the black ink turns red. Another flick sets the words sparkling and flashing, with snowflakes drifting across them, settling at the bottom of the page. Perhaps that's a bit too much, he thinks, squinting to read what he'd written, which was now partially obscured by a blizzard. A third flick vanishes the snow and sets the letters back to red, and with a final swish, a red and gold ribbon attaches itself to the top. There.

The clock starts chiming just as he walks back out into the main room. Remus looks up with an expectant expression on his face. "Well? Where's my large prezzie?"

"Never said it was large, just said it was a big surprise." Sirius keeps the parchment tablet behind his back and then sits on the arm of the sofa, shoving his feet under Moony's leg. Sirius turns down the Wireless as he sits down, the room getting silent but companionable.

"Christ, you've cold feet."

"I want mine first," he says as the last chime sounds. Remus hands over the box, and Sirius sets the tablet down on the table before tearing into the paper. When he finally gets the box open (and the paper somehow strewn from one end of the room to the other), he finds a Muggle football in the box. "A football?"

"Yeah, you're always on about wanting to play with my balls so I thought–"

Sirius doesn't give Moony time to finish what he'd been about to say as he tackles him against the sofa and kisses him. They're not very precise kisses, he's far too busy laughing for that.

"You've at least got one giant ball. Where's the other?" His hand sneaks between Moony's legs and cups his bollocks. "There it is."

"Sirius," Moony gasps, and arches into the grip while the fairies twitter behind them. "Enough of that. I want mine."

Sirius flails on the table and then grabs the tablet with his toes, arching his leg awkwardly so he can grasp it with his hand. "Here you are."

"It's parchment. Parchment spelled into a tablet."

"Course it is."

"It's a tablet."

Sirius smacks Moony on the forehead. "You've said that. Look at it."

This voucher good for one free grope.

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Moony flips to the next.

This voucher good for one free meal at the restaurant of your choosing.

Some limits apply. See shop for details. Not redeemable for any monetary value. Expires sixty days from purchase. Batteries not included. By restaurant, I mean one that we both like and not that shite curry place down the street you like so much and I hate.

With a grin spreading on his face, Moony flips the page.

This voucher good for one free foot rub.

Some limits apply. See shop for details. Not redeemable for any monetary value. Expires sixty days from purchase. Batteries not included. Redeemer must wash his feet before redeeming. Also, redeemer must clip his toenails before redeeming. Should the ridiculousness of this voucher be made known to certain other parties, the voucher will then be redeemable for a small curse or three. Also, should the details of this ever become public, all outstanding vouchers will be null and void and the Offererer will ensure that the Redeemer will sleep on the sofa for the rest of his life.

"These're brilliant," Moony says, and then pushes up to kiss Sirius. "Even if you did just write them up."

Sirius doesn't say a word in response. Instead, he just grins and licks Remus's face, leaving a large, wet trail up his cheek.

"I'll use this one now, please."

This voucher good for one shag at the time of recipient's choosing.

Some limits apply. See shop for details. Not redeemable for any monetary value. Expires sixty days from purchase. Batteries not included. No limit on positions.

The fairies giggle and dance on the tree, rearranging both themselves and the tinsel to cover the bare spots, and crowding close to get a better view of the sofa. When the moans start, they ignore the tree entirely and sit one on top of another for a better view. The lion almost roars but the sound is covered by Burning Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love on the Wireless.