FIC: The Lionhearted for nk_aoede

[cindergal.livejournal.com]

Title: The Lionhearted
Author: cindergal
Written for: nk_aoede
Rating: PG
Prompt: An AU where one of the boys is in a different house and they have to work together in detention/on a project/etc. attraction ensues!
Summary: Sirius is a Slytherin who thinks he has nothing in common with Remus Lupin. When they share detention together in sixth year, he finds out how wrong he was.
AN: Many thanks to mommanerd for the wonderful beta. This ended up a bit over the word limit. It's more of a medium gift. :-)






Sirius Black was not in a good mood.

Finding Remus Lupin standing in the Potions classroom, and being informed by Professor Slughorn that he would have Lupin's company for the next week of detention did nothing to improve his disposition. Not to mention that it had to be the most boring detention ever devised. He supposed he couldn't blame Lupin for that - Slughorn might be his head of House, but he was also a lazy sod with no imagination. If Sirius had been hoping for something to get his mind off the reason he was here in the first place, cataloging potion ingredients with that milquetoast Remus Lupin was not it. But it could be worse, he supposed. It could be Potter.

In fact, he probably wouldn't even know who Lupin was, even after walking the same halls for the past six years, if he weren't one of Potter's hangers on. And Potter was too annoying to ignore. Loud and obnoxious and, if his father were to be believed, an embarrassment to pure-bloods everywhere. And he had ridiculous hair. Lupin, on the other hand, was a quiet sort, in looks as well as manner. Smart, but not in a showy way. Not the type to call attention to himself. The most notable thing about him was that he seemed to be out sick half the time. Honestly, Sirius supposed he had nothing against Lupin other than his terrible taste in friends, but that didn't matter much, because Sirius was mad at the world. And Lupin was a bloody Gryffindor, after all.

"Carry on, lads," Slughorn said, as he toddled off to no doubt eat his weight in treacle tarts.

"So," Lupin began, "how should we..."

"I'll count. You can write everything down," Sirius said, breezing past him on the way to the storage room.

"Right. Glad we discussed that."

Sirius pushed open the heavy wooden door and was met with a cold blast of stale air. The floors were made of stone, as were the walls, which were lined with shelves full of potions ingredients. It smelled like dead things, and it was several degrees cooler than the classroom, which wasn't balmy to begin with. "Merlin, it's freezing in here!" Sirius rubbed his arms, feeling the chill even through his heavy winter robes.

"Warming charm?" Lupin asked. Without waiting for an answer, he performed a complicated series of swishes and flicks with his wand, and the air began to take on a less arctic quality. Interesting. Sirius had never seen that particular spell before. He tried to commit all the moves to memory; he'd have to try that one out later.

***

"Armadillo bile. Three dozen vials," Sirius said. Lupin sat on the floor with his back to the wall, knees drawn up, and Sirius heard him dutifully scratching the information down on a piece of parchment.

"So, what are you in for?" Lupin asked.

"What?"

"Detention," Lupin explained patiently, "why did you get detention?"

"Er...why did you?" Not that he actually cared.

Lupin shrugged. "Just a prank."

"Just a prank?" Sirius turned and leaned his back against the shelves, crossing his arms over his chest. "A week of detention for 'just a prank?'" Now he was intrigued.

Lupin blushed slightly, and the spray of freckles over his cheeks stood out against his skin. "You might recall the, uh, knickers?"

"The knickers? The dancing knickers? Professor McGonagall's dancing knickers? That was you?" Unlike most of Potter's pranks, which were extremely annoying mostly because they were often at Slytherin's expense, this one had been inspired. Funny, creative, and just a bit wicked.

Lupin turned even redder. "I, um, I'm afraid so. Yes."

Sirius couldn't help but grin as he recalled McGonagall's underthings doing the jitterbug down the center of the Great Hall. He had to give credit where credit was due. "Now that was brilliant! Really. Well done. And who'd have guessed that Minerva owned that racy little black lace number, hmm?"

Lupin grinned back, ducking his head and doodling something on the corner of the parchment. "It was ace. Until I got caught, of course. I didn't know Professor McGonagall knew some of those words. But it accomplished it's task, so it was worth it."

"Task?"

"Oh, I wanted to cheer up James. He was feeling down about something, and I wanted to make him laugh."

Sirius's smile disappeared, and he went back to counting containers of powdered asphodel root. "What could the great James Potter ever have to be upset about? The way he goes on about himself, you'd think his life was bloody perfect."

"James isn't so bad," Lupin said. "He's a good friend. And he was upset about a girl."

"Ah, Evans turned him down again. Imagine that."

"Yes, well...so, what about you?" Lupin asked.

"No girls have turned me down lately," Sirius said, glancing at Lupin over his shoulder. "Or ever, come to think of it." he said, sounding a bit defensive, even to his own ears.

"Um, no - I mean, why do you have detention?"

Sirius had completely lost track of what number he was on. He swore under his breath and started over. "Don't want to talk about it. Okay, asphodel root..."

"Hey, no fair!" Lupin laughed. "I told you, now you have to tell me."

"I have to?"

Lupin apparently didn't pick up on the warning note in his voice, because he went on laughing. "It’s only fair!" he repeated. "What? Are you too embarrassed to say? It can't be that bad, can it?"

Sirius whirled around so fast he nearly knocked a jar filled with dragon parts off the shelf. "I hexed my little brother so badly he's still in the hospital wing! And my entire House is not speaking to me because of it! Happy now? What else would you like to know?"

"Just...why?" he had the nerve to ask.

Sirius started towards him and Lupin scrambled to his feet, putting his hands out to hold Sirius off. But Sirius walked right into them, pushing Lupin back against he wall.

"Look," Sirius said, getting right in his face. "Get this straight: I'm not your mate. My life is none of your business. I have to serve detention with you for the next week, but I don't have to be your friend. I don't even have to talk to you unless it‘s about nettles or quodpot solution! Got it?"

They were practically nose to nose, Lupin's hands still pressed against his chest, and both of them breathing hard. Sirius looked into his eyes, and saw something there that he wasn't at all sure he wanted to see.

"If you say so," Lupin said softly.

Sirius turned back to the shelves, trying to get himself under control. He'd probably just imagined it. "Okay. Asphodel root..."

***

He barely slept that night, and the next morning at breakfast Sirius had nearly nodded off into his porridge when he received the first of three howlers his mother would send him that day. The entire hall was now privy to the fact that he was a complete embarrassment to the House of Black, in earsplitting and excruciating detail. No one could scream like Walburga. And he needn't bother coming home for Christmas, either.

Even after everyone had stopped staring and gone back to their food and chatter, Sirius looked up to find Regulus's eyes still on him. He sat at the next table over with some of the other fifth years, looking no worse for wear from his short stint in the hospital wing. Sirius was relieved, but when he caught Reg’s eye, his little brother’s expression changed from anger to fear. He pushed himself away from the table and made a hurried exit from the hall. So, that's how it was going to be. Regulus might keep his mouth shut, but Sirius had probably lost him forever.

Sirius sleepwalked through his classes, and was so tired and distracted that by the time detention rolled around that he nearly ran headlong into Severus Snape outside the Potions classroom.

"Severus! What are you doing here? Certainly you don't need extra credit?"

"Certainly not." Snape was several inches shorter than Sirius, but still managed to somehow look down his nose at him. "I'm here because I'm concerned about you, Black. This altercation between you and Regulus has caused a lot of tension in the House."

Sirius bristled. "That was between my brother and I. And it's all over now, so you needn't worry."

"That's not what Regulus says."

Sirius could feel his heart begin to race. "What?"

"I've spoken to your brother. He told me why you hexed him."

Sirius stopped breathing.

"What...what did he say?"

"He told me that you continue to refuse to join us in the cause, and that the two of you had a great row over it. Really, Sirius. This rebel act of yours has outlived its charm."

Sirius said a silent thank you to Regulus for coming up with something plausible. "I've got my own ideas about how to live my life, Severus, and I've no interest in following someone else's. I've explained all this to you and your little gang before."

“As I recall, you used to be a part of that 'little gang,'” Snape pointed out.

“And then I began to grow up and think for myself.”

Snape lowered his voice, stepping closer. “You have an obligation to act in manner befitting your position. Surely you realize that. For Merlin's sake," he hissed, "you're Sirius Black!"

Sirius had been trying to be diplomatic, but Snape pushed his buttons on a good day, and this had not been a good day. "Yes, that's right. I am Sirius Black! And no one tells me what to think, what to feel, or what to do! Not this great leader of yours, not even my family. And certainly not you, Snape."

Snape recoiled from him as if he had dragon pox. "Very well, Black. I could have helped you, you know. I could have smoothed things over with the rest of the House. But I see you've made your bed; now you must lie in it. Goodnight. Enjoy detention." He looked past Sirius and sneered. "Lupin."

Remus walked out of the shadows and joined Sirius, watching Snape make his retreat in a swirl of black robes.

"How much did you hear?" Sirius asked.

"Most of it, I think. You were - the way you told him off - that was pretty impressive."

Sirius ran his shaking hands through his hair and sighed. "It was pretty stupid." His remaining time at Hogwarts spread out before him in his mind's eye, and to say it would not be pleasant was quite the understatement. "Come on, Remus" he said, heading for the storage room. "Let’s get started. This detention is going to be the highlight of my day."

The two of them worked together in an amiable quiet, with Sirius's voice rattling off ingredients and the scratch of Remus's quill the only sounds echoing against the stone walls.

"What Snape said...that's not why I hexed Reg," Sirius said as they were packing up to go. He wasn’t sure why it was important that Remus know this, but it was.

"No?"

Sirius stared down at his hands. "No, I would never hex him for that. I mean we argued about it all the time, but I would never...not for that. I never meant to hurt him."

"I know."

Sirius looked up sharply. "What do you mean, you know?"

"You two always seemed to get along pretty well. For brothers, I mean. I could tell he looked up to you. And you...you looked out for him."

"But how would you know that?” They’d barely spoken to each other before this detention, after all.

Remus looked a little nervous. "I just... notice things."

"Things?"

He took a deep breath. "I notice things about you."

Oh. Maybe it hadn't been his imagination the other day. He peered at him more closely, and it was like he was seeing him for the first time. There was an empathy and understanding there that Sirius had rarely seen directed his way. And he found himself telling him more.

"He was...Reg was going to tell. Something about me. I trusted him, but he just thought I was disgusting. And my parents! My disagreeing about politics would have been nothing in comparison. If they knew...if they knew..." It was like his throat closed up, like he'd been hit with a silencing charm.

Remus didn't say anything, just nodded and took a step towards him, and Sirius felt his heart leap into his throat. What was he doing? How could he be blurting out everything to this boy he hardly knew?

"I have to go," he said thickly. "I‘m sorry. I really have to go."

Remus made no move to follow him. "Okay. Goodnight, Sirius," he heard him say, as he nearly ran out the door.

***

The next few days passed without any further personal revelations by either of them. Both Remus and he seemed content to pretend their last conversation had never happened. Their interaction was friendly enough, though, and Sirius found that he really had begun looking forward to detention as his favorite part of the day. Sad, really. And now that they’d reached the end of the week, he felt a little lost.

"Sirius? Are you okay? You look terrible."

"Oh, good," Sirius said, "because I feel much, much worse than that." He was still tossing and turning every night, although now for somewhat different reasons, and he felt like all of his nerve endings were very close to the surface.

"I'll count today, if you want," Lupin offered. Sirius agreed gratefully and slid down the wall to the floor with his parchment and quill. Remus started naming potion ingredients, and Sirius began to relax as he listened to the sound of his voice, deep and even and soothing. He should have let Remus do this part of the detention all week; he thought he could probably listen to him for hours. He wasn’t sure when he drifted off, but he didn't wake up until he felt a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him awake.

"I didn‘t do it!"

Remus laughed. "Relax, it’s just me.” Their faces were very close together, and Sirius found himself staring into those warm, intelligent brown eyes, unable to look away. Remus flushed under his gaze. “Um, yes." He shook his head and stood up, breaking the spell. "You fell asleep. Detention is over, so you can go back to your room and get some real sleep now."

"Great. Brilliant. Really looking forward to going back there," Sirius said. He stifled a yawn and let Remus help him to his feet.

“It’s really that bad, isn’t it?”

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. “No, it’s fine.”

“Liar.”

Remus was smiling, but Sirius could see the concern in his eyes. “Don’t worry about it,” Sirius said.

“Can’t help it.” He laid a hand on Sirius's arm. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You just did my detention for me," he said, gesturing to the parchment pages Remus held, filled with his small, neat script. "Can't ask for more than that." He was acutely aware of Remus's hand on his arm and made no attempt to move it. Remus squeezed, his grip surprisingly strong, and let his hand fall away. Sirius attempted to straighten his rumpled robes and calm his pounding heart.

“So that’s it. I mean, no more detention.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” Remus said.

“No, surprisingly enough. And now...Christmas hols.”

Remus nodded. “So...Happy Christmas, then.”

“Right.” Not likely, as Sirius would be spending them here. Alone.

They stood there staring at their shoes for a moment before Sirius turned to go. As he did, he paused and looked back over his shoulder. "Hey...Remus?"

"Yeah?"

Sirius somehow managed to conjure up a weary smile. "Happy Christmas, mate."

***

The festive decorations adorning the Great Hall were in stark contrast to Sirius’s mood. When he sat down at the Slytherin table, everyone around him got up and moved several seats away. He sighed heavily. He supposed he'd better get used to it. It would actually be a relief to come to breakfast and have the place practically to himself after everyone left on holiday this afternoon.

"Mmmm, all the more for us!"

James Potter bound into the seat next to him and clapped Sirius on the back so hard he nearly choked on his eggs. "What the...?"

"Any friend of Remus is a friend of mine," James said loudly, elbowing him in the ribs. "Even if he is a bloody Slytherin!"

"James!" Remus warned. He slid into the seat on the other side of Sirius and smiled apologetically. "He means well." Another boy, short and fair-haired, sat down across from Sirius. He looked a bit terrified. "Sirius, you know Peter, don't you?" Remus asked.

Sirius only knew him as one of the blokes who followed Potter around. "Uh, sure. Hi."

Potter stabbed at a platter of sausages with his fork and stuffed an obscene number into his mouth.

Sirius looked on in amazement. "You do realize you're sitting at the Slytherin table, don't you?"

"NO!" James said, around a mouthful of food. “Is that what all this green and silver is for?” He grabbed a glass of pumpkin juice and took a gulp. "Look, I realize it must be a complete shock to see us doing something outside the rules. But since they've completely rejected you, and our Moony here says you're alright, we've decided to sort of...take you under our wing, Black.”

Sirius was torn between amusement and outrage. He decided he’d reached his quota of outrage for the week. “Is that right?”

“Yes! And no need to thank us. You’re like...“ he waved the hand with the fork in it around in the air “...our new project!”

Remus was mortified. “James!” James smiled widely and Remus tried to apologize again. “I’m...really...he’s...”

"I've already got all sorts of plans. I'm going to work on them during the holiday."

“You really are as much of an arrogant arse as I always thought, aren’t you Potter?” Sirius said, laughing.

“Takes one to know one, Mr. Heir To The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” Potter said cheerfully. You could actually hear the capital letters.

Sirius felt himself deflate. “I think I've probably been disowned by now...”

"Oh, come on!" James said, flinging an arm around his shoulders. "Don't you just want to stick it to them, the way they've been treating you? Your family. Your supposed friends who dump you at the drop of a hat. And wouldn't hanging out with us be the perfect way to do it?"

"If the look on Snape's face is any indication, it really would be. I've never seen a person turn that color before," Peter said, voice filled with awe.

Sirius looked down at the other end of the table to see Snape fuming, his face an alarming shade of purple. Then he looked in the opposite direction and saw Remus’s hopeful smile.

"You know what?" Sirius said. "Snape is a git. I never could stand him anyway."

***

Even though the school was practically deserted, Sirius didn’t want to stay in his room any more than he had to. In fact, he sought out the place that was as opposite the Slytherin dungeon as he could imagine. From the top of the Astronomy Tower, with the vastness of the night sky above him filled with its twinkling stars and the nearly full moon, he felt, for perhaps the very first time, that his life was brimming with possibilities.

It seemed inevitable that this split with his family would become a permanent one. Even if Regulus kept his confidence, Sirius was tired of hiding who he was from the people who were supposed to love him. But it was clear to him now that they would only love him if he married the right witch and practiced the right kind of politics. If not, they would be sure to reject him the same as Regulus had. The loss of his family would leave a hole, but maybe now he had something to help fill it. Something better, even. The chance to have something that he chose, instead of it being forced upon him.

Something, or someone.

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Sirius jumped, then grinned widely as he saw Remus Lupin’s head peek out from the doorway. “Remus! What are you doing here?”

“I’m staying here for the holidays, too. Surprise,” he said with a shy smile.

“That’s...well that’s brilliant, actually!” Sirius said, feeling a bubble of happiness rise up in his chest. He held out his hand. “Come sit with me.”

Remus teeth began to chatter as he approached him. “But it’s freezing up here!”

“Not by me it isn’t.”

Remus took his hand and let himself be drawn down beside Sirius. “Oh, you’re right. Very cozy.” They were lined up shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip, so closely that Sirius could feel it when Remus took a deep, shuddering breath.

“I learnt a fantastic warming spell from this Gryffindor, believe it or not. Very useful.”

“Gryffindors can be useful?” Remus asked, with mock astonishment.

“Quite, as it turns out.” Their fingers were still threaded together, and Sirius tightened his grip. "So, why are you stuck here?"

"Long story," Remus said.

"Ah. Nothing wrong, I hope?"

"No, everything's fine. And I'm sorry for the circumstances, but I'm really glad you're here."

“Yeah. Me too." They stared at each other for a moment before they both laughed and looked away. Sirius had no idea how to do this, so he just plunged ahead. "My parents had started talking about me getting married already. Making arrangements. Proper witch, proper family. I told Regulus that I wasn't going to do it. And why. I was hoping...I don't know, not that he'd do anything about it, because he couldn't. Just that he'd..."

"That he'd understand."

"Yes. And of course, he didn't. And I was terrified that he'd tell my parents that I fancied boys instead of girls, although here it is only a week later and at this point I don't much care if they find out. But you'd probably figured out most of that anyway."

"Most of it. Even though I sometimes thought it was just wishful thinking on my part. And I know all about being afraid of people finding out your secrets before you're ready.”

Sirius rubbed his thumb over the back of Remus's hand. “Who knows yours?”

“Just the people I really trust. My parents. James and Peter.”

“It's such a relief if someone knows. I mean, if it’s the right person.”

“It can mean the world,” Remus agreed. “Thank you for telling me.”

"You're the right person," Sirius said. He moved his hand up to Remus’s wrist, then slid his fingers under the sleeve of his robe, thrilled at being able to touch him like this. His forearm was slender but strong, with wiry muscles and skin which was...

“Remus?” He pushed back his sleeve and saw the scars marring the fair skin. Most were silvery with age, but one was pink and new. "What happened to you?"

As if a switch had been flipped, the gears and levers in Sirius’s mind began to whir and click into place. The pieces all began to fall together, how Remus was sick so often (once a month) and now these scars and Moony. Remus must have seen something of what he was thinking on his face, because now he was pulling away, his expression somehow guarded and resigned at the same time, saying maybe they should just be friends and he couldn't do this right now, and he had to go. And Sirius panicked.

He wasn’t sure exactly what this all meant or how he even felt about it. His parents' voices echoed in his ears, but none of their prejudices made sense to him anymore. But this boy did. All Sirius really knew for sure is that he didn’t want this person sitting in front of him to leave. He needed him, wanted him to stay. So he grabbed Remus’s hand and held fast, placing his other on top for good measure, hoping in the next few seconds he'd figure out what to say.

"Maybe...maybe someday, I’ll be one of those people you trust with all of your secrets.”

Remus blinked and stared down at their joined hands. When he looked up, his smile was blinding. “Maybe you will.”

And Sirius leaned in, and kissed him.

Comments

[spacefragments.livejournal.com]

i-i oh god, you have no idea how much i loved this. i am speechless. i will have to come back later with a proper comment because my brain is just going ahfkd!hfk,gfje;kdhg!! right now.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

[spacefragments.livejournal.com]

k, i'm back. ok, first off, i love how you made sirius a slytherin but kept the rebel in him. he's been alienated from his house and family but he still stands firm and true to his beliefs, no matter how difficult the situation. i love that. and remus! i love how he pushes and pushes until sirius finally lets him in, so to speak. it's very persuasive, that constant subtle (or not so subtle in this case) way which fits remus very well, i think.

and james! james always steals the show, no matter how brief his time in the fic. i love him in all his loud, obnoxious, loyal, gryffindor-to-the-core glory. i think he and sirius will get along. ;D

i love the hesitation before the kiss, and the glimpses of slytherin house we got to see. i love this a whole lot. thank you so much, again!!

[cindergal.livejournal.com]

Best. Comment. Ever. :-)

I'm so happy that you liked it! It was a lot of fun to write Sirius as a Slytherin but still Sirius, and I'm especially glad you liked Remus (who was never so happy to get detention is his life). James just kind of popped in there and took over for a few brief moments, as he usually does, so I'm very glad that worked for you, too.

Again, so glad you enjoyed it. Happy Holidays!