small_gifts | (no subject)

Title: Oh! Just tell someone!
Author/Artist:

liseuse
Written for:

gwathhenation
Rating: R, but it's for swearing.
Summary and/or Prompt: Dischord between the boys.
Any other random notes, warnings, etc.: None of the characters within belong to me. They're just being played with. I have once again callously stolen

busaikko's Andromeda because she's just delightful. My wonderful beta was

aunty_marion, and all remaining mistakes belong solely to me.

"Just so you know. It's not what you think. I'm not ashamed of you. Or anything." Sirius angled towards Remus, tilting his head to one side.

"Never said you were." Remus said, raising an eyebrow and angling his own shoulder so it pushed Sirius away slightly.

"Gave me that look though." Sirius' smile was a tad rueful. "I don't like that smile. It means 'stop being an arse Sirius.' "

"You can read whatever you want into that look, Sirius. Whatever the fuck that look is anyway." Remus shook his head and stood up straight. "Look, can we have this discussion at home? I'm bloody freezing."

"Oh, yeah, Course. Sorry." Sirius started to shrug his coat off before catching Remus' raised eyebrow that very clearly said 'Fuck right off Black.' "Right. No coat. Home then."

"And don't spare the horses." Remus yawned, and instead of covering his mouth with his hand he buried his face in Sirius' shoulder.

"Disgusting. That's what you are." Sirius laughed slightly when they'd both re-appeared in the flat. "And you wonder why I won't admit to you." His tone was joking, but he could see from Remus' face that it had fallen about as flat as a lead balloon. "Shit. I didn't mean that. Shit."

"See. You did." Remus grimaced slightly and turned to fill the kettle with water. "It's not like I'm asking you to run naked around the rooftops screaming to the entirety of London that you're a poof and you like taking it up the arse from Remus J. Lupin, werewolf extraordinaire. Though you might be more likely to do that than, oh, I don't know, tell 'Meda that the nice young man you share a flat with isn't just an old school friend."

"I think 'Meda already knows." Sirius got the mugs from the draining board and rummaged through the cupboard for some tea-bags.

"Not the point," Remus said, grabbing the mugs off Sirius and sloppily pouring the water in. "I don't care if she knows. If she's known for thirty years because she has some heretofore unknown divination ability. I Want You To Tell Her. To just, tell someone. Prongs figured it out. Or Lil' told him. I suspect Lil' told him. Peter was told by Prongs." Remus laughed slightly. "That sounds like some old nursery rhyme." He fished the tea-bags out of the cups and added a splash of milk to both. "Careful, it's hot. Anyway, my point is that you've never actually told someone. They've just found out. So I don't give a shit if 'Meda already knows and if she tells you so. I just want you to have that conversation with someone you care about."

"I told Regulus." Sirius clutched the mug in his hands and looked mutinous.

"To piss him off. To make it clearer than clear that you were never going to be an appropriate scion for the House of Black. And I know, I know, you loved him. But it doesn't count, Sirius. You didn't tell him because you loved him and you wanted him to know all about you, you told him because you knew it would hurt him. That it would seal his fate. I mean, what's a better reason for disowning the first son of the Blacks than the fact that he shags a man, or better, a werewolf! The only thing your parents would have found more disturbing than their first son being Gryffindor, gay and shagging a Dark Creature would be if he suddenly decided to open a Muggle orphanage."

Sirius put his mug down. Resting his hands on the counter he looked Remus straight in the eyes. "You're right. I mean, don't get used to hearing that, but. You're right. I did only tell Reggie to piss him off. Lil' told Prongs. Prongs told Peter. I ... it's just ... I love 'Meda. Like, actually love her. She's the one decent member of my whole bloody family. What if ... what if she doesn't love me after I tell her. What if I never get to see her, or Nymphadora, again?" He stood slumped, miserably looking at the floor.

"I don't know, Sirius." Remus said, lifting Sirius' chin with a hand. "I don't know. But from what I know of 'Meda, it's not very likely. She loves you. For you. For all of you, and for the all of you that you will be in the future."

"Sappy git." Sirius smirked slightly. "Such a way with words." Relaxing slightly, he picked up his mug again and took a mouthful. Then, with a look of panic, said,"I don't have to do this now do I?"

"No. I don't think 'Meda would relish a visit at ten to one in the morning somehow." Remus smiled. "Now, you're going to come with me. Finish your tea first."

--

"You all right, mate?" James asked, picking up his pint and peering at Sirius. "You've been acting like more of an idiot than usual lately. You and Remus fighting?" James sounded vaguely disbelieving at the last statement and Sirius reasoned that that was Lily's guess and that James was only asking to shut her up.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just. Look, Prongs. You're not mad I never, you know, told you about Remus and ... About Remus and me being, y'know. Are you?" Sirius picked up the beer mat he'd been pushing around the table and started shredding it.

"Nah. I know you, remember. Never tell anyone anything important. Like Remus in that aspect." James smiled and pushed the pack of cigarettes he'd been tapping thoughtfully, across the table. "Look how bloody long it took you to tell me that your parents were psycho."

Sirius shook a cigarette out of the pack and lit it carefully. "Cheers. And yeah."

"Would you just spit it out? I'm supposed to be home at some point tonight, you know. Lily's cooking, and I don't think she wants me rolling in at three because I've had to get blind drunk to get anything out of you. She cares. But she doesn't care that much." James raised an eyebrow and Sirius shivered slightly. It was odd to see Prongs looking like his father.

"Stop that, you look like your dad." Sirius raised one eyebrow back mockingly.

"Yeah, well. You look like Regulus when you do that. I told him one day that the wind would change and he'd be stuck like that."

Sirius laughed. "What did he say to that?"

"Told me to fuck off and then punched me." James grinned with one side of his mouth. "Look, tell me what the fucking problem is, would you? I'm going to get another round and when I get back I expect you to just start talking. Normally we can't get you to shut up."

Sirius smiled slightly, and started shredding the beer mat again. It wasn't, he thought, that he didn't want to tell everyone. He did. He really fucking did. He'd run screaming it from the roofs if he had to. Would run round Hyde Park yelling and whooping about the fact that Remus liked him. That Remus kissed him. That they shagged. But more than that; that they were living together and they'd bought each other books and vinyl and were turning into fucking soppy girls with shared bloody memories. That secretly he loved Remus nagging him to put on a coat, to dry his hair before he caught a cold. That he felt like he might burst when Remus gave him that crooked smile and gazed at him blearily when the alarm went off in the morning. That getting dressed and getting breakfast before work was the best part of his day because he and Remus had got it down to an art form. That Remus' smile, when he came in the door after work, knackered and drooping with tiredness, but happy to be home, was one of the best things Sirius had ever seen. And that he couldn't believe Remus had agreed to all of this after everything they'd been through and done.

"Oi. Stop dreaming." James said as he got back to the table and plonked two more pints and a packet of pork scratchings down. "Now tell me what the bloody matter is."

"I'm in love with Remus," Sirius said.

"No need to sound like you're announcing the death of your favourite pet." James shook his head. "I think it's supposed to be a good thing. I mean, don't quote me on it, but being in love is kind of fun."

"Ha ha," Sirius said dryly. "Of course it's fun, you idiot. It's just that. Well. You get to tell the world you're in love with Lily. I mean, you've been telling the world since fifth year. I don't get to tell people. And more to the point I don't make an effort to tell people. Remus is ticked off 'cause I haven't told 'Meda."

"You haven't told Andromeda yet?" James looked shocked. "No wonder Remus is ticked off; mate. You love Andromeda. She loves you. Thought you'd have told her at least."

"Yeah. Well. I haven't." Sirius lit another cigarette.

"Don't get huffy with me," James warned. "Not surprising Remus is pissed off at you, is it. What do you think Andromeda's going to say?" He opened the pork scratchings and shoved them towards Sirius. "Not like she's exactly judgemental."

"She is fairly traditional. I know she married Ted and all, but she's still her. Still got all that blood and lineage and ancestry and thought process floating around in her." Sirius smiled ruefully and took a scratching. "I do as well. It's not like you can get rid of it overnight. Fucking pureblood monstrosity of a background."

"Still. She's not going to throw you out of the family, is she." James looked at Sirius pointedly. "'Sides, she probably already knows."

"Remus said that."

"So why do you still have to tell her?" James looked quizzical.

"Apparently it'll prove something. I've never told anyone I love." Sirius looked slightly embarrassed.

"Ah. Proving things. Lily made me do that." James shuddered slightly and Sirius grinned as he remembered sixth year when Lily had gone on a crusade to make James prove he wasn't a complete berk.

"Precisely. But it's like I have to suddenly make a stand against everything. Makes it real that I'm not a Black anymore." Sirius whistled through his teeth. "But, best rid of them I guess."

"Too right. And you're an honorary Potter, remember that. My parents loved you." James smiled, slightly sadly and Sirius smiled back, remembering the kindly Potters and trying not to think about how much he missed them.

"Good. Right, Jamie, fuck off home. Go see the missus. I've got to go and do something." Sirius stood and shrugged on his leather jacket. "Wish me luck."

"Marauders don't need luck. And remember, you've always got us." James stood and drained the last of his pint. "I'll see you tomorrow? Come round for lunch. Lil's been making enough to feed an army lately. Don't want to get fat, do I?"

"Too late. Too late." Sirius grinned nervously. "Right, see you tomorrow, mate."

--

Sirius stood outside 'Meda's house. He wedged his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath. 'Knock, Knock.'

"Yes?" came an enquiring voice as a head poked its way around the door. "Can I ... Oh! Sirius! Darling! How are you?" Andromeda opened the door fully and gave Sirius a big hug. "Come on in, come on in. It's a state I'm afraid, Nymphadora's feeling ill so she's been throwing tantrums."

"Oh, is it a bad time? Do you want me to come back at another time?" Sirius backed down a step and looked hopefully at Andromeda.

"Oh, good grief, no. Don't be an idiot, Sirius. Nymphadora adores you, you can calm her down for me and then fill me in on the gossip. Remus still charming the socks off elderly women at the greengrocers?" 'Meda held the door open so Sirius could enter and then rubbed her hands together. "Brrr. It's cold. I need to get Ted to order some firewood in. I think he's left it a bit late, but hey ho. One can't help what one's stuck with." She smiled and Sirius caught sight of the framed photo on the hallway wall of her and Ted, grinning and waving at the camera on their wedding day.

"Best of bad situations and all." Sirius winked and shuffled his feet slightly on the parquet. "Look, 'Meda. I've got something I need to tell you."

"Not going over to the other side, are you, Sirius?" Andromeda looked a little concerned and Sirius found himself shaking his head vehemently.

"Merlin no. What do you take me for, 'Meda?"

"Sorry, darling. I know you never would. Thought it best to ask however." Andromeda pushed the door of the sitting room open and called down the hall, "Two mugs and a pot of tea, please Flicky," Then as she sat herself down on the sofa she raised an eyebrow and turned towards Sirius. "Right then, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Sirius took a deep breath and shucked his jacket off. "It's about Remus." He looked up anxiously and tried to smile.

"Is he dying?" Andromeda looked concerned.

"Fuck, no!" Sirius barked. "What the bloody hell makes you think that?"

"You look for all the world like you were about to tell me he was dying of some dreadful incurable and that we should all brace ourselves for long bed-watch shifts and some hideous funeral with crying parents." Andromeda smiled as a house-elf sidled up to her elbow. "Thank you, Flicky. Is Nymphadora doing all right?"

"Sleeping quietly, ma'am." The house-elf put the tray down on the side table and bowed slightly, then scurried out of the door.

"Oh, thank Circe. I thought she'd never go to sleep. Here, have tea." And with that she handed Sirius a cup. "Now, what's this about Remus? We've ruled out death."

Sirius smiled quickly and clutched his saucer. "It's just that. You know I live with him."

"Yes Sirius. I've been to your flat, remember." Andromeda peered at Sirius. "Are you feeling okay? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," Sirius said shortly. "Look, 'Meda. I love you, right. And I love Nymphadora. That's why I'm telling you this." He put down his tea cup and paced back and forth over the rug before the fireplace. "Remus and I. It's. We're not just flatmates." Sirius looked strained and went to stand next to Andromeda. He knelt down so he was facing her and took another deep breath. "I love him, 'Meda. I love him so fucking much."

"Yes dear. I know." Andromeda smiled and put one hand on Sirius' head. "I've always known, darling. But thank you for telling me."

"You knew!" Sirius stood abruptly. "You fucking knew." His face was a picture of shock. "Remus was right. Jammy bastard."

"I suspect he is generally right." Andromeda raised an eyebrow and poured some more tea. "Would you like another mug? Or now that you're reassured I'm not going to cast you out of my house and deny your existence, are you going to go home to that nice young man of yours?"

Sirius smiled, shyly. "I think I might just go home, I've got someone to apologise to." He stopped and shifted on his feet. "Thank you. For y'know, not being horrible."

"Oh, Sirius." Andromeda stood and moved around the table so she could give Sirius a hug, "I'm sorry you thought I'd do that to you. All I care about is that you're happy. I'd say safe, but no one is safe at the moment. So I'll settle for happy. Now, get home to Remus, and tell him from me that if he hurts you, I'll hurt him. He'll be picking pieces of himself up from the far corners of the earth if he does anything to you."

"The same doesn't go if I hurt him?" Sirius squeezed Andromeda tightly and then let go.

"No. Family's family. I love Remus, but you're kin." She placed her hands on Sirius' cheeks. "Never forget that. Kin. Blood through and through." And with a small smile she took her hands away and pushed him towards the door. "Now, go and show someone you love what family means."

--

Remus started as the door flew open. "Sirius, for the love of God! Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack?"

"Don't be daft Moony. I'm reasonably fond of you, remember. Quite like you to carry on being around." Sirius moved towards Remus, so he was standing right in front of Remus' chair. "Told 'Meda."

"And I take it, from your lack of browbeaten hangdog expression, that she didn't throw you out of her house and tell you never to darken her doorstep again?" Remus cocked his head to one side, looking up, and took one of Sirius' hands in his.

"No. Told me I was daft. Said you were a nice young man but that, and this is verbatim, that if you hurt me, she'd hurt you and that you'll be picking pieces of yourself up from the far corners of the earth if you do anything to me." Sirius moved closer so that he could wrap his spare arm around Remus.

"Mmm," Remus sighed as he snuggled into Sirius' stomach. "Anything?" And with that he smiled wickedly and began to undo Sirius' fly. "Because I can think of a few things you quite enjoy having done to you."

Sirius grinned and then gasped slightly as Remus' cold fingers slipped inside his underwear. "We could just not tell her?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

such_heights

Hee! This is so adorable, and wonderfully in character all around. I love how it's just Sirius that makes the whole thing difficult, whereas everyone else is much less phased than him - quite true to life sometimes, I think.

Thank you. For y'know, not being horrible.

Awwww! *descends into puddle of goo*

I really, really enjoyed this! =D

From:

stocking stuffers, more like....

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