small_gifts | Fic: "The Storm Inside You" for starla

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Title: The Storm Inside You
Author:

anna_bm
Written for:

starla_kid
Rating: PG
Prompt: #3 = Bedtime before Christmas, pyjamas, sharing secrets, sharing kisses.
Summary: During the night between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Sirius suffers from insomnia.
Any other notes, warnings, etc.: I hope this fits the criteria,

starla_kid. ♥ This fic is beta'd by

usomitai and

roterhimmel, who made sure I didn't butcher the English language too much and helped me with the final scene -- thanks so much, girls!

The Gryffindor common room seemed oddly cold and impersonal when it was empty save for two persons. The silence lay like a quilt over them, only broken by the crackling of the dying fire and the footfall of Sirius' pacing.

Remus sunk further back in the armchair and wrapped his cardigan tighter round himself. Sirius' insomnia was acting up again, making him restless and fidgety, and Remus kept him company, like the good friend that he was. It wasn't that bad -- Remus suspected he had passed the threshold of exhaustion hours earlier -- but he hoped Sirius would fall asleep soon, if only to be able to get up before Christmas Day was over.

He looked over at Sirius. Sirius was practically oozing with frustration; his back was straight and taut, his whole posture wooden but still correct. Remus sometimes mused over this correctness, its grace, and wondered if it was innate or taught early on. He'd never brought it up, though, since Sirius always got awkward whenever the Blacks were mentioned.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Remus asked. Sirius clearly wasn't going to sleep any time soon, and he was growing bored of silently watching Sirius pace.

Sirius stopped and looked at him. It had been storming earlier that day, but the weather had cleared up sometime around dinner. Sirius seemed to contemplate this for a moment, and then went to the stairs leading to their dormitory. He came back carrying his and Remus' outdoor coats and the Invisibility Cloak.

"Let's go," he said and tossed Remus' coat at him.

*
They had walked for over half an hour and when the skies opened. Icy sleet pelted down and the storm from earlier that day came back full force.

"Sirius, let's go inside," Remus called over the wind, but Sirius didn't reply. Remus turned around, shielded his eyes with his hand and saw Sirius stand several feet behind him, arms outspread and face turned skywards. "Sirius?"

Thunder rumbled and two seconds later lightning forked in the sky. Remus stared, fascinated, and it took him a moment to realise that the melodious sound he heard was Sirius laughing. He hurried to his side, slipping twice on the wet grass, and grabbed Sirius by the arm.

"What’re you doing?"

Sirius turned his head to look at Remus, grinning madly. He looked almost insane, wet hair everywhere and his eyes thrice as bright as usual. "This is me!" he shouted, gesturing wildly at the sky above them. "This is what I am. This is me."

Puzzled, Remus looked up at the sky again. The rain lashed his face and the wind howled in his ears, but when another deafening thunder fell and the sky alighted, he understood.

Remus looked back at Sirius. His thoughts must have been showing on his face, for Sirius' grin became even wider, if that was possible. Sirius turned towards the sky and yelled at the top of his lungs.

It wasn't quite a canine’s howl, but nor was it entirely human. Remus' ears rang and when Sirius gasped for breath, he was laughing again.

"Howl with me!" he said and gave another howl. The wind seemed to be answering him. Remus chewed his lip and then squeezed Sirius' arm before letting go. He took a deep breath and, putting all of himself into it, howled as hard as he could.

His howl was far louder than Sirius', and he barely noticed that Sirius stared at him in awe. It was like some of the pressure inside him lessened; he felt giddy and elated.

They stood there on the grounds for a good while, shouting and letting the rain drench them to the bone, without a care in the world.

After Merlin knew how long, Sirius fell down onto the grass, breathless and high on adrenaline. He still had that wild, insane gleam in his eyes, and his muddy hair and robes didn't make him look any more composed.

"Come on," Remus said, helping him to his feet and half-slipping himself, "we better get inside before someone starts looking for us."

"Yes, that sounds wise." Sirius' lips were tinted blue and he was shaking something terrible, just like Remus. Digging the Invisibility Cloak out of the pocket of his robes with one hand, Remus grabbed Sirius' wet, freezing one with his other and slung Sirius' arm over his shoulders. Pressing their bodies against each other, Remus threw the sopping wet Cloak over them. They staggered back to the castle.

*
"You shower first," Remus whispered through chattering teeth when they entered the dormitory. Sirius nodded and padded towards the bathroom, mindful not to wake James or Peter. As the door closed, Remus shrugged off the Invisibility Cloak and cast a quick drying spell on it before folding it and hiding it under the nearest bed, Sirius'.

Remus heard the muffled sound of running water from the bathroom as he leaned his back against the wall and rubbed his arms. His clothes were soaked, even his pants were drenched, but there was no point in changing until after the shower.

He glanced at one of the windows, at the storm still raging outside. Their walk in it felt far away, like it had been a dream, even though it’d happened not just ten minutes ago. He wondered if Sirius felt the same way.

Sirius came out of the bathroom, wrapped up in a huge towel, cheeks rosy and lips a healthy red again. Remus slipped passed him into the bathroom, brushing against hot-damp skin and fluffy terry cloth as he did so. He hurried out of his clothes, letting them drop to the tiles with a wet squelch, leaving them there.

Showering was heaven. The hot water thawed him up, returning feeling in his fingers and toes. He spent a few minutes more than necessary under the spray, just because he could, before finally stepping out and drying himself off.

When Remus entered the dormitory again, he saw Sirius sitting cross-legged on his bed, working knots out of his tangled hair. He was already in his pyjamas and Remus' own lay beside him. Remus thought it was utterly unfair that someone could look so elegant sitting like a child in clothes two inches too short.

"Think you can sleep now?" Remus asked as he changed into his pyjamas. Sirius let go of his hair and glanced furtively up at him; an obstinate curl fell right in front of his face. He brushed it away.

"Maybe."

Remus nodded and sat down on the bed’s opposite end. "I hope you will. It's past three and--"

Remus became silent when Sirius leaned towards him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Remus barely had time to register it before Sirius pulled back. His eyes were wide and he looked just as surprised at himself as Remus was. They stared at each other, both gaping slightly.

"Right," Sirius murmured after several beats, with a slightly shifting gaze. "I probably could’ve chosen a better moment to--"

This time Remus interrupted Sirius by grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him himself. Now that he was prepared, he noticed the sheen of the silk underneath his fingers, the heat of Sirius' body and how Sirius' lips were dry and chapped against his own. Remus slowly pulled back, holding his breath and not letting go of Sirius' shirt. Sirius blinked, and then let out a short breathy chuckle, smiling in a hesitatingly hopeful way. Remus finally exhaled.

He leaned forward again and this time Sirius met him halfway. With all the gracefulness of two teenage boys, they leaned further in so their bodies touched and inevitably fell down on the mattress when the angle became too awkward. They laid in a tangled mess, snickering and shushing each other between kisses when they heard Peter snore and turn in his bed. Remus couldn't bring himself to worry about getting caught, not when endorphins coursed through his veins and he had a flushed, happy Sirius in his arms.

They kept on kissing for a good while, chastely and experimentally, neither quite sure what they were doing, but what they lacked in experience they made up in enthusiasm.

"Moony?" Sirius whispered against Remus' lips, cuddling up even closer to him, one icy foot brushing against Remus' calf.

"Mm?"

"I'm sleepy."

Remus grinned and wrapped an arm around Sirius. "Then go to sleep, you nitwit," he whispered into Sirius' hair, closing his own eyes. He could feel Sirius smile against the hollow of his throat, and he gave him a quick squeeze. Sirius tightened his fingers into Remus' shirt and Remus felt Sirius slowly, finally start to relax. Soon Sirius was nothing but a warm, boneless heap in Remus' arms.

Remus himself fell asleep to the sound of Sirius' slow, even breathing.

~fin~

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