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[personal profile] tpants posting in [community profile] small_gifts
Title: Sirius Plans
Author/Artist:
[personal profile] tpants
Recipient: [personal profile] myprettycabinet
Rating:T
Contents or warnings (highlight to view): *Brief mention of child abuse. *
Word count:8166
Summary:Sirius Black had a plan and it got out of hand.
Notes: Thank you to my wonderful and patient betas [personal profile] chasingbluefish and Maraudererasmut

Sirius Black’s life was simple. He was the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, where he’d probably have a wife, some kids, too much power at the ministry that he didn’t earn, and die by the hands of some spiteful wizard. And right about now, he wished that one of the Gryffindors had the balls to kill him for the great prank war of Black versus Potter before he got off the Hogwarts Express for the last time. Hufflepuff won the house cup because both Slytherin and Gryffindor lost 50 points for every prank that  he or James Potter pulled against each other. It was the first time in the history of Hogwarts that a single house had literally gained negative points...much less two houses.

What’s worse was that James and Sirius had to spend so much time in detention together, they actually started to appreciate each other’s skills, talents, and their mutual dislike for Severus Snape.  They tolerated each other enough that it was very unlikely for James Potter to kill Sirius Black out of spite, but they weren’t close enough for James to kill Sirius as a favor.

It didn’t help that Regulus took a liking to James, which probably started off as a sibling rivalry to piss off Sirius by becoming friends with his arch nemesis. James Potter was stupidly loyal to his friends and Regs was stupidly committed to being annoying to Sirius. His parents would be proud of how cunning Regulus was if they weren’t so focused on grooming Sirius into the perfect heir.

The Hogwarts Express pulled to a stop. This was it. Once he got off this train, Sirius Black would start training to take over the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. No more quidditch practice, no more planning elaborate pranks to make all of Gryffindor’s textbooks unreadable, no more avoiding the predestined future. Regulus knocked on the compartment door, knowing Sirius had demanded to be left alone.

“Sirius, you’re going to have to leave eventually.” His younger brother leaned against the side of the door. They could have been twins if it wasn’t for the height difference. Sometimes, Sirius wondered if Regulus ever resented being the spare as much as he resented being the heir.

But then again, he’d rather be the one putting up with his parent’s attention than watch his baby brother squirm underneath their scrutiny. Sirius couldn’t help but be a bit protective of Reggie.

“Yeah, yeah. I was just waiting so I don’t have to deal with all the rowdy numbnuts tripping over themselves.” Sirius rolled his eyes.

Regulus snorted. “Sure.”

After seven years, Sirius had gotten on and off the Hogwart Express thirteen times without trouble. The fourteenth time, someone was running back onto the train and knocked Sirius into the arms of a stranger. Wand ready to hex the hair off of the person who had the balls to knock him aside, Sirius charged back after them. Only he couldn’t. He was pulled out of the way, avoiding traffic of people trying to get their luggage and lost pets. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pull you away like that.” The voice was right by Sirius’ ear, he’d know that voice anywhere. Pulling himself together, he turned to meet Remus Lupin’s hazel eyes. Remus Lupin, James Potter’s sickly friend (who couldn’t be that sickly if Sirius could feel firm pectorals under that soft jumper) and Gryffindor Perfect who probably docked the most points from both of their houses.

“It’s fine. I can handle myself, Lupin.”

“I was more concerned you were about to hex a first year student.” Remus smiled innocently at Sirius. Sirius didn’t trust him. No one should look that kind. No one.

“Don’t make assumptions, Remus. It’s rude.” Sirius barely avoided pouting as he turned sharply to met his family.

“So much for avoiding rowdy numbnuts, Sirius.”

“Shut up, Regs.”


 

Two weeks into the summer and Sirius was lost in some muggle town. He had claimed that he wanted to look for some research for werewolf laws. Apparently, that was the ideal platform for Sirius to start his introduction to the Ministry. Sirius only agreed since it was dropped over ten years ago and no one give a rat’s ass about it. Maybe it would buy him more time to put off the rest of his planned life.

What he didn’t expect was how easy it was to get off the train one stop away and end up in a busy muggle street. There was no rule against wizards in muggle towns, but it felt like Sirius did something wrong. And he liked it.

The sight was different than wizarding cities, but the people weren’t. Muggles were rushing about, a group girls even looked at him and giggled before skipping off to some shop. He felt excitement bubbling up inside of him. What do muggle sell in their shops? How did muggles ride around in those metal boxes? How do they travel without magic?

Suddenly, Sirius felt a hand grabbing the back of his expensive silk shirt and pulled him into an alley. Panic filled Sirius’ chest; if any of his Slytherin classmate had caught him here, he won’t be let out of sight for the rest of the summer. Sirius jerked away, drawing his wand at….Lupin?

“Honestly, Black, if you’re trying to blow the International statute of wizarding secrecy, I’ll say you’re doing a fine job of it.” 

Sirius lowered his wand, “What are you doing here, Lupin?” Lupin didn’t look like a wizard at all with denim trousers and a loose cotton shirt.

“I work here.” He pointed at one of the walls. “I saw you leaving the train station looking like that.”

Sirius raised a single judgemental eyebrow when Lupin’s hand waved at his clothes. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Muggles don’t have cooling charm, you look excessively stuffy in your silk dress shirt and robes. At least ditch the cloak or be ready to pull a dove out of your pocket.”

“...what?” Now Sirius was confused. He didn’t take muggle studies, but none of the muggleborns at Hogwarts ever kept a dove in their pockets.

With an exaggerated sigh, Lupin reached out to undo the fasting to Sirius’ cloak. “You’re worse than James. I swear, this is why all purebloods should be required to take muggle studies.”

Sirius swatted at Lupin’s hands. “Don’t compare me to Potter, my hair is exceptionally better than his.”

“Yeah and that’s about it. You’re both too loud and can’t blend into any sort of background.” Lupin pulled the cloak away and give SIrius another slow look from head to toe. “That’s an improvement...if you wanted to look like a crazy middle aged businessman.”

Sirius huffed. “These are the finest robes in Italy.”

“And to the muggles here, you look like an idiot.” Sirius narrowed his eyes.

“Fine,” Waving his wand, his robes changed to an outfit similar to Lupin. He can’t change the materials but he can rearrange them to black fitted trousers and a loose shirt.

Lupin give an appreciative nod. “Much better.” He handed the cloak back to Sirius and turned to enter one of the building of the alley. “Enjoy muggle London, Black. Try not to stand out too much.”

“....” Sirius wanted to say something but he had a hard time finding words. Those denim trousers looked really good on Lupin. Maybe he could pick up a pair here.


 

Fifteen minutes later, Sirius was in the bookstore that Remus was working in. “Lupin, I’m bored, come with me into the city.”

Remus looked up from sorting books for a moment. “I’m working, Sirius.”

“Who do I need to pay for you to leave?” Money can buy just about anything.

“It doesn’t work that way, Sirius.” Lupin crossed his arm. “Do you even have muggle money?”

Sirius looked sheepishly at the bookshelf behind Remus. He didn’t exchange for muggle money, there would be too much speculation if a Black would ever do such a thing.

Remus sighed and checked the clock. “I can’t leave until the shop closes.”

“How about I pay you to take me around town?” Problem solved, Lupin can use wizard currency.

“No, you cannot buy me, Sirius.”

“Something wrong, Mr. Lupin?” An elderly gentleman interrupted their conversation.

“No, I was just explaining to my friend that I had to work until closing.” Remus straightened up, which queued to Sirius that this was the owner or at least, Remus’ boss.

“Sorry, Sir.” Sirius dialed up the charm. “But I’m new in town and I was hoping that my friend would help show me around.”

Remus was disgusted at how wide-eyed and stupidly innocent Sirius Black looked. He was more disgusted at his shop owner, who practically melted and agreed to let Remus have the rest of the day off.

“......I can’t believe you did that.”

“Should have just agreed to let me pay you to take me around town.” Sirius smirked. “Now, what’s in that shop over there.”

Remus followed Sirius into a candy shop that didn’t have candy that jumped or make people’s bodies do weird things. Sirius looked at the cases of candy, then occasionally looked to Remus to make sure he wasn't making a spectacle of himself. Remus give him an amused grin before putting a muggle coin into a muggle machine that dropped a hard candy through a complex maze...that was eventually gifted to Sirius to chew on. The flavor didn’t last very long, but it did kept him from asking too many questions.

Until he walked into an overly priced jewelry shop with the audacity to try and sell non-goblin gold with a poorly set emerald. Sirius lectured the jewelers on why they probably had mud for brains. Remus dragged him out of there before the muggle aurors were called on them.

After that, Remus kept a firm hold on Sirius’ hand to prevent the pureblood from starting any other scene and running off too far. Not that was it hard to find him, Remus just needed to look at where everyone was staring at. Sirius Black was gifted with good looks, grace, and the ability to draw attention to himself effortlessly. Remus really didn’t mind that too much.

Nor did he mind having Sirius pull him into a toy shop, where the toys were wounded up to work or muggle divination ball. “They’re misinforming their kids, Remus. They’ll never learn divination correctly with this.” Somewhere along the line, Remus wasn’t sure where, Sirius had started using his first name.

“They’re not trying to teach their kids divination, Sirius. It’s something for kids to ask questions their parents didn’t want to answer.”

“Oh. Like how our parents sent us to tutors instead.”

Remus laughed, “Sure, something like that.”

The sun was starting to set as people were headed home or to dinner, Sirius had yet to let go of Remus’ hands. Remus figured it was best to steer them back towards the train station now.

“Hey Remus, why aren’t you working at a wizard’s book store? You’re a more than capable wizard.”

A look flickered across Remus’ face. “I’m a half-blood, after seven years at Hogwarts, I wanted to get back in touch with my mother’s side.”

“Oh. I best let you go home to your mother then.” Sirius dropped their hands.

“She lives in Wales. I live alone.” Remus had no idea why he shared that.

“Oh.”  Sirius had no idea why he said that. But now they were both standing in front of the train station, staring at each other. “Um... “ Sirius dug into his pockets, producing a galleon. “Can you buy me a ticket back? I don’t have muggle change.”

“This is too much.”

“It’s all I have.”

“Oh.”

Remus made a split second decision at the kiosk. Instead of handing Sirius a ticket, he handed over a monthly pass and a rubix cube.

Sirius looked at the cube. “It’s from the toy store?” But this one had all the colors mixed up.

“No, that one’s mine.”

“Then why are you handing it to me?” Sirius looked at the way the cube moved.

“I haven’t had time to fix it so I expect you to fix it and return it to me. Payment for me hanging out with you all day.” Remus answered.

“The charm you’re looking for is reparo, Remus.” Sirius was already pulling out his wand, ready to get it sorted for Remus. This was why muggleborns and half-blood were so troublesome: they forget about magic all the time.

“That’s cheating! You have to do it yourself. No magic. Just slide it around to get the pieces in the right places.” Remus showed Sirius by moving the sides of the cube around, mixing up the one line he got right.

“That’s really troublesome.”

“I get it. It’s too hard for you to do without magic.”

That did it. It made Sirius’s ears turned red. Putting his wand away, he took the cube in his hand. “I’m going to fix this Remus Lupin and I’ll be back. Prepare to be in awe of my skills and intellect!”

“Oh, we’ll see. That pass should last you all month, so I hope you’ll fix it by then.” Remus smirked.

We will see.” Sirius held out his hand for Remus to shake. “I’m going to solve this and you’re going to take me to one of those fancy coffee places.”

“Deal.”

 

Sirius had started tinkering with the cube on the train. It wasn’t until he was home and had a solid thirty minutes to himself that Sirius figured out how to make all the sides the same colors, have striped colors, and finally switching colors. He eventually got to being able to solve the cube in less than a minute.

The next day, he hopped back on the train to see Remus again. And the day after. And the day after that, until they were seeing each other every day that week. And then the week after.

 

Sirius had all sorts of excuses from researching for his platform to looking for books that might be helpful. He even came up with a plant he assured his father might be poisonous to werewolves. None of it was a lie per say, his research just happened to be muggle tales of werewolves and lupine was a type of plant that could be poisonous. So where is the lie?

Remus indulged Sirius’ whims where he could. Sometimes they would go to a cafe and Sirius made it his goal to try every drink at least once. The moment Sirius discovered punk rock was probably the first time Remus had ever seen anyone literally light up with joy. Sirius once dumped a literal bag of galleons to Remus’ place because he needed muggle money, exclaiming “I need to be punk rock, Remus!” What Remus didn’t expect was to have a Harley Davidson bike parked outside of his tiny apartment.

Sometimes, Sirius would just be reading at the bookstore waiting for Remus to be done with his shift.The owner couldn’t care less if Sirius was loitering, due to his ability to sell just about anything and people enjoyed just watching him read. If Sirius had noticed the attention he was gathering in the bookshop, he hadn’t mentioned it. Instead, he spent more time bothering Remus for the strangest books.

A couple of times, James even joined. Remus felt like he was babysitting a set of brothers when they were running around muggle London, each trying to be more muggle-informed than the other. Eventually, Remus just unleashed them into a store that specializes in modern technology. James bought a television, a phone, and a camera, and made Sirius promise to come over to test these toys out. Remus asked that they both put him down on their wills if they’re going to be mixing magic with technology.

Each night, Sirius was leaving later and later. Even Remus was starting to dread going back to his apartment.

“You know what, Sirius, have you ever tried to make dinner without magic before?”

Sirius snorted. “I have never cooked a day in my life, Remus.”

“Figures. This is why you and James can’t live alone.” Remus rolled his eyes, “Come on, you’re in luck, I’m planning to cook something simple tonight.”

Sirius grinned as they deviated from the path to the train station and headed to Remus’ apartment instead.

“It’s simple. First, boil some water.” Remus handed Sirius a box of dried pasta before he put the pot of water onto to the stove. “When it’s done you just dump out the water.”

Sirius stared at Remus for a moment, but what did he know, maybe it’s the muggle way. Remus was getting the other ingredients together to make pasta sauce when he heard the water boil, then turn just as Sirius dumped it out without putting the pasta into the water.

“Done. Now what do I do with this?” Sirius shook the dried pasta in the box, looking far too hopeful for the next steps.

Remus was at a loss for words. Sirius Black, who was both the top of his class and James Potter’s arch nemesis, could not make pasta.

Much to Remus’ horror, Sirius cut his first vegetables that night as well.

“Slicing, Sirius, you’re going to crush all of them!” Remus slipped behind Sirius, hands holding over Sirius’ hands to guide him in the motion of slicing onions, when he heard a sniffle.

“I hate this so much, why the fuck is this making me cry?”

“Well, don’t touch your eyes, it’ll only make it worse.” Remus held on to Sirius’ hands before he made some really poor life choices like rubbing his eyes.

“Well, I can’t see..” Sirius twisted to wipe his eyes on Remus’ sleeve. “This is awful. Why would anyone even want to eat this?”

“You eat it all the time, Sirius.”

“Well, not anymore. I’m waging a war on onions and getting you a house elf. No one should have to endure this, Remus.”

“Oh boy.” Remus let go of Sirius’ wrists so he could wash his hands for the eleventh time that night. “It’s unethical to own house elves.”

“I’m pretty sure they enjoy it, Remus.” Sirius wiped at his eyes. “My family isn’t the only one that have their deceased house elves’ heads mounted for display. I think Kreacher calls it an honor but I can’t be sure with his insistent grumbling.”

Remus threw the onions into the pot with the garlic. “That doesn’t make it right. They’re living creatures, Sirius, no different than yourself. Well, probably less dangerous than yourself.”

Sirius paused before joining Remus’ side. “..are you quoting Scamander’s book or the Daily Prophet?”

Remus didn’t answer, giving Sirius a pointed look before taking his hands off of the knife and letting it continue slicing the tomatoes.

“...you said no magic.” Sirius accused, finally noticing that Remus had the pot stirring on its own as well before the tomatoes jumped into the pot.

“You were taking so long, we wouldn’t be eating until midnight. I had to cheat a little.”

“Cheater.” Sirius pouted. “But I did better than Potter, right?”

“He didn’t cry over onions.”

“He had those thick face glasses for extra protection! Gryffindors, the whole lot of you are cheaters!”


 

Meeting James Potter was just barely approved by his parents. Afterall, if Regulus spent so much time at the Potters, why couldn’t Sirius skip one day to meet James Potter at a local wizarding pub?

They built a weird relationship over their fathers’ hopes that they would take after them. Granted, James’ father was much easier going and really hadn’t pushed James into hair potions…since James’ hair still looked like a hurricane hit it every morning. James’ dad extended the offer to Sirius, since everyone knew the Black family had hair to die for. Sleekeazy’s hair potion wasn’t needed by the Blacks but it would be great publicity.

“Remember when you mentioned an easier way of communicating than through the floo or owls?” Sirius took a seat across from James in their usual booth.

“Yeah, I was thinking we can use phones.” James had been experimenting with muggle technology since he left Hogwarts and spent all of his time with Lily Evans. Sirius liked Lily, she had good hair and could hex with the best of them. They used to have correspondence over ways to shut James’ mouth up. Now James and Regulus was their only form of correspondence. Well, not for long.

“I think muggle technology is set to blow up the moment it comes within a meter of Black property.” Sirius rolled his eyes before setting a velvet pouch on the table. “I was thinking something a little more magical.”

James opened the pouch to pull out a compact mirror. “..Um...thanks?”

Sirius pulled out his own pouch, opened the mirror and then his reflection showed up on James’ mirror. “I charmed them to be connected.” Sirius smirked as James gaped in awe.

“I have a better question: Why are you giving this to me and not Remus?” James asked, leaning in.

Sirius straightened up. “Why would Remus need it? I can just go to his place.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to go to my place? Your parents are less likely to disown you for hanging out with me and Regs than hanging out in a muggle town.”

“I always use you as an excuse to see Remus. Now I can tell you what lie I came up with so our stories will be straight when I run off. Remus and I are going to finally take Elvandork out for a ride.”

“Dude, you should make Elvandork fly.”

“....” Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’ll have Remus meet us at your place tonight. He works late tonight so that means he’ll have a late start tomorrow.”

James groaned. “It’s like you’re married.”

“Shut up and tell Evans to stop giving Reggie new hair styles. It’s embarrassing.”

“Bold of you to assume it was my girlfriend and not me doing his hair.”


 

Remus arrived by floo to the Potter manor out in the middle of nowhere and stared at the two dark haired men covered in oil, arms thrown over each other’s shoulders. They looked way too happy to have been drinking just butterbeer. Remus suspected they might have broken into Mr. Potter’s collection.

“Remus!” They both cheered at the same time.

“Oh fuck, what did you do.” It was not a question.

“The best thing ever, Remus!” Sirius shot out from under James’ arm to throw his arms around Remus.

After a weak protest, Remus found himself holding on to Sirius as they rode on the Harley Davidson through the clouds. The wind ruffled through Remus’ hair. It was freeing to move across the skies on the bike, holding on to Sirius. The light from the nearly full moon seemed warmer. Thankfully, the bike was loud enough to cover any loud heartbeats.

That night, Sirius sent home an owl from the Potters.

Staying at the Potter’s. Regs says “hi”.

 

The next morning, Sirius woke to the sound of birds welcoming the beginning of the sunrise. He had an armful of curls and steady breathing. They must have stumbled into the same bed the night before. Sirius could count all the freckles on Remus’ face, eyes lingering on his parted lips. Sirius’ eyes continued to trace up the mouth to the slope of the nose to full eyebrows. Eyebrows that framed kind eyes. Sirius liked the way they opened, first they widened then they drew into a soft smile.

“Hey.”

“Morning.” Sirius answered.

“What are you looking at?”

“You.”

“I noticed.”

“Do you mind?”

“Not really.”

“Then I’m going to get a closer look.” Sirius moved closer.

“Let me help.” Remus leaned over and Sirius closed the gap, pressing their lips together. Silence hung in the air until Remus moved forward to put more pressure into the kiss. Just little kisses, pressing themselves closer together.

“Hey Sirius, you need to get going if you’re going to-OH FUCKING MERLIN!” Regulus hand was still on the door knob. Remus and Sirius jerked apart so quickly, Sirius fell right off the bed in a loud thump. James rushed out of his door across the hall to see what the commotion was, fumbling to get his glasses on.

“......” Sirius glared at his brother from the floor. Remus had his face buried in the pillow. Regulus was mimicking a goldfish. James took in the sight around him, a grin spread across his face.

“About fucking time.”

Sirius sent a jelly legs jinx at James.


 

Remus told Sirius he couldn’t meet him that night. Sirius pouted the entire day. They finally got to kissing and now Remus couldn't see him. Remus had to visit his mother.

“Oh Merlin, what if my kiss made him leave the country?” Sirius grumbled, roughly drawing on his parchment.

For the first time that month, Sirius took to his research seriously. Causes of lycanthropy, side effects of lycanthropy, laws against hiring werewolves, warnings against werewolves regardless of their form. His father had stopped by to check up on him but Sirius was too busy thinking about how soft Remus’ lips were to care.

“Are you ready with your werewolf platform?”

“Sure.” Remus seems like a dog person.

“And your experiment, what was it?”

“Lupin. I mean I wouldn’t call it an experiment so much as a sure thing now.”

Orion Black leaned back in his seat. If he didn’t know better, Sirius would have thought his father was proud of him. “You’re saying you’re ready to do testing?”

Sirius smirked then, “Oh, I’m definitely ready to do testing with Lupin.”

“You’re mispronouncing Lupine again, Sirius. Don’t get dull.”   


 

BLACK LEGACY CONTINUES!

Sirius Black Taking on the Werewolf Platform with Lupine Law.

After nearly 15 years of being forgotten, Sirius Black is following in his father’s footsteps by re-starting the werewolf platform. Rumour has it that he will force those inflicted with lycanthropy to ingest a dosage of Lupine to calm the beast during the full moon. Orion Black confirms that this potion will be ready for testing soon.

Sirius rolled his eyes at the Daily Prophet before setting his breakfast aside. Great, now he really needs to come up with something with Lupine. Where the fuck was he supposed to get enough Lupine to actually have an affect on a normal person? Much less a werewolf.

The only werewolf he recalled was Fenrir Greyback when he supposedly was trying to get Sirius’ father’s favor. Perhaps it was because Sirius was a child, but Greyback was terrifying and animalistic. Heated words were exchanged between his father and Greyback, who left with some parting words for Sirius to watch out for monsters under his bed. It wasn’t long after that, Greyback was caught and tossed in Azkaban for attacking another wizard child of a fellow anti-werewolf campaigner.

If Fenrir Greyback was anything to go by, Sirius would need at least ten plants on a normal day. During the full moon, he’ll probably need a field full.

Sirius went to get his mirror, he’s going to need James’ and Remus’ help if he’s going to need to come up with some fake research. The moment he opened his compact he got James’ face pressed up against the mirror.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, BLACK? TELL ME THE DAILY PROPHET IS WRONG AND YOU’RE NOT DOING AN ANTI-WEREWOLF CAMPAIGN!”

“...er...I was hoping no one would care. It’s been dead for years. It just sounds good but no one really expects anything out of it.” Sirius shrugged.

“WE NEED TO TALK. NOW.”

“I’m talking, you’re yelling.”

“COME OVER.”

And the mirror went silent.

“....He better not have broken Elvandork.”


 

It didn’t take any time at all for Sirius to get to James’ place. Regulus was already waiting by the floo of course. “You’re an idiot, but as your brother, I’m going to give you one warning: duck.”

“What?” Sirius narrowly missed a quaffle flying for his face.

“Sirius Black, you are unbelievable!” James Potter was up in his face, hands on his robes. “How could you make such a platform against werewolves?!”

Shoving James away from him, Sirius had his wand drawn. “It’s not even a real platform! No one has cared for it since forever!”

“Well maybe, you should take your head out of your perky ass and realize the kind of misery you’re going to be pushing on to everyone with lycanthropy!” James didn’t bother with his wand and instead moved to give Sirius quite the shiner on his jaw.

“BOYS!” Lily Evans came running down the stairs, throwing a binding spell at the two of them. They were both wiggling on the floor, still trying to get at each other. “Stop this fighting, you’re going to wake up Remus!”

Sirius stilled, “Remus is here? I thought he was with his mum in Wales?”

A silence stretched out between the four of them.

“Wow. You never put it together back at Hogwarts?” Regulus whistled. “Even I figured it out by fourth year.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes at his brother. He’s going fill Reggie’s room with stink worms when he gets home. “What is going on with Remus?”

“He’s ill.” That's all Lily said, hands on her hips and lips pursed, releasing the binding spell. Sirius knew that was her look of disapproval.

“Is he here?” James blocked Sirius’ path as Sirius was headed towards the stairs. “Get out of my way, Potter. I’m not opposed to hexing you silly in front of your girl-OUCH!”

A stinging hex hit Sirius from the stairs before James could give him a piece of his mind, “I have a name, Black.”

“Yeah, big brother, don’t mess with our lady.” Regulus was grinning so wide, Sirius wasn’t sure when the last time his brother grinned. Definitely turning his room into a hive for the whistling wasps when I get home.

“Right, got it, Evans. Now please call off Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum so I can see Remus.”

“....is that a Lewis Carroll reference?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Every wizard child read Carroll’s work, especially since it was accidentally leaked to the muggles.”

“Yeah, the muggles missed out on the prequels as to how the Queen of Hearts got the crown from the King of Hearts.” Reggie shrugged.

“Those really aren’t stories your parents should be reading to kids.” James gave the Black brothers a concerned look.

“Does your mom know you mother hen everyone you ever breathe near?” Sirius shoved James aside to make his way up the stairs. “Oof!” Sirius went down with James on his back.

“I need you to be understanding before you see him!”

“I am understanding that you’re being an asshat!”

The struggle to get up the stairs was pathetic at best and tragic at worse. Lily rolled her eyes when they pulled on each other’s hair, shoved their wands up each other’s noses, and the many times they nearly disrobed each other. She had better things to do. When they got to the top of the stairs, James had whiskers and Sirius was sporting dog ears on top of his head. Panting and gasping for breath, Sirius and James was leaning on each other.

Then Sirius’ new ears heard Remus whimper from down the hall, he was instantly back on his feet and running towards the door. Wrenching the door open, he had to look down to Lily.

“Wand. I’m not letting you wreck my work by being stupid with your wand.”

On any other day, Sirius would have had a snarky comment about his wand. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Wand.”

“...” Sirius rolled his eyes before dropping his wand in her hand. “What’s wrong with him?” There was few illnesses that would be dangerous with magic and most of them were more commonly caught in the Americas, the godless land. 

“Side effect of the full moon.” 

Then all of his research and the last seven years of Hogwarts finally aligned. Remus was always ill once a month. There were scars that sometimes peek out from under his clothes. Fenrir Greyback attacked Lyall Lupin’s kid. Last night was the full moon and Remus used the same excuse that he did at Hogwarts.

I have to see my mother.”

“Oh.”


 

Sirius walked into the room. It was the same room he had woken up in with Remus before. In the bed, Remus was propped up on pillows and seemed to be fidgeting with the rubix cube, he looked paler than usual. It didn’t look like he had had any sleep from the dark circles under his eyes.

“Didn’t I already fix that for you?” Sirius took the seat by the bed. There were two other chairs next to his.

“Yeah,” Remus’ voice cracked, eyes never straying from the cube. “But that’s the beauty of it, you can always mess it up and put it back together.”

“You know, we met before. At St. Mungo’s.” Sirius started off hesitantly, his eyes locked to the bed. “A long time ago, before Hogwarts.”

He could see the blanket shifting, probably because Remus was moving around. He really shouldn’t, Sirius’ research mentioned people being sore after the transformation. “I used to be a lot more…disagreeable to my parents and they had a habit of beating it out of me. I always assumed it was because you were like me, only your folks couldn’t afford all the potions needed to heal and remove the scars you hide under your clothes.”

A gasp got Sirius’ attention and he looked up at Remus, who had a hand over his face. Rubix cube forgotten. Sirius was instantly on his feet. “What’s wrong? Should I get Evans?!"

“....were you the one that would drop Essence of Dittany into my school bag?”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “I’m not admitting anything, but one thing’s for sure, it’s really rude to keep forgetting it on your desk.”

Remus started to tremble, hand still over his mouth. Sirius reached over gently, in case he disturbed any wounds, only to stop. Remus was fighting laughter, holding his hand to his mouth. “I thought it was the professors taking pity on me so I kept putting it back on their desk but another one would appear in my bag afterwards!” He grabbed Sirius’ hand, pulling him closer. “Oh, Sirius! You great, big, giant dork!”

“Yeeahh…” Sirius drew out the moment as long as he could. Remus looked happy and it seemed to bring some color back to his face.

Remus took a deep breath before leaning back against the pillows, a kind smile stayed on his lips. “I’m sorry. It’s just so...endearing to think the big, bad Sirius Black would be dropping off dittany into my bag because he was worried about my home situation.”

The dog ears on Sirius’ head drew back. “I’m not going to sound so endearing when you read about me in the Daily Prophet today.”

“I heard James shouting about you making a werewolf platform for your entry to the ministry.”

“Merlin, that idiot is loud.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“You’re taking this exceedingly well.”

“What do you want me to do? Be angry?”

“Yes! Be mad! I literally suggested poisoning you every month!”

“Alright.” The silence was unbearably heavy. Sirius fidgeted in his seat, waiting for Remus to explode.

It never came. Just the sound of the rubix cube shifting. “Um..Remus?”

“...Do you want to do this? Take a werewolf platform and join the ministry?”

“I have to.”

“Because your father said so?”

“If I don’t do it, they’re going to make Reggie do it, and if he doesn’t do it, I’m pretty sure Malfoy or LeStrange will be more than happy to take over.”

“Don’t you have a cousin you can ask for help?”

“Ah, yes. Let’s go ask Andi and her muggleborn husband for help on taking down the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. We already have the Potters and a handful of muggle born and half-bloods with no status or backing! What are we going to do? Start a revolt on the side with some punk rock band?! Yes, instead of the Sex Pistols, we can be the Pissing Wands!”

Sirius threw his hands in the air, then ran them through his hair, and over his face. His tone deflating as he continued on his rant. “But if you let me just inherit the title and name, I can keep overturning my own law. No one would dare deny me what I want with my background.”

“They’re going to be furious if they know we’ve been hanging out...” Remus’ voice was soft. “They’ll never let you have your own happiness.”

“....” Sirius looked at Remus, unable to meet his eyes before turning to the floor. “...Does it really matter? That’s the thing with Gryffindors, you want everything without realizing there’s a price you have to pay.”

“That kind of thinking is why so many Slytherins are miserable, Black.” Lily interrupted their private conversation, The Daily Prophet in her hands. “I think you’re missing something.”


 

Dear Father and Mother,

For my platform, I will have to do some testing over at the Potters. After all, they have the best potion equipment and talents.

S.


 

“Dammit, James, considering your family’s history with miracle potions, you think you’d suck less at this.” Sirius waved his hand over the smoking cauldron while James was straightening his glasses.

“Honestly, wouldn’t it just be easier to brew wolfsbane potion?” Regulus tapped at one of the potions book.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s a ploy to actually poison my boyfriend.”

“Aw, you called him your boyfriend.”

“Shut up, James.”

“Lily and I already tried the wolfsbane potion, Sirius, it’s not poisonous. It’s just…tedious.“ Remus poured the rest of the crushed lupine pods into a new cauldron. “Alright, this time we do one counter clockwise and two clockwise stirs, right?”

“....Remus, step away from the cauldron.” Lily steered him out of the way. “This might actually kill you.”

“These are from my mother’s garden, unless I decide to eat the seeds, I doubt I’m going to die, Lily.”

“....I’ve got an idea. I could kiss you right now, Remus.”

“If I can’t kiss Regs or Lily, you can’t kiss Remus, Sirius!”

“.........Why would you want to kiss my brother, Potter?”

“Sirius, put your wand down!”

“You’re snogging my baby brother!?”



 

One month later…

Remus threw back the goblet like it was a shot. Everyone’s eyes were on him.

“So, how do we know this works?” Remus asked, hoping to get everyone’s stare off of him.

James shrugged, “We’ll know when the moon rises, I guess.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” Remus gaped at his best friend. “I’m going to become a bloody wolf in about three hours and you’re going with ‘I guess’?”

“If it doesn't work we can both be werewolves and run off together.” Sirius offered.

“That’s an awful idea.” Remus was not amused. “I’m going to the cellar and no one follows me until morning.”

“But then how will we know it worked?!” James’ voice cracked.

“I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“What if something goes horribly wrong?” Lily asked.

“Then I can live with that.”

“Well, I can’t.” Sirius snapped back.


The next morning Remus Lupin woke up with Sirius Black nuzzled right up against him. His lover was mumbling about something soft. Shaking his head, Remus looked around the cellar and then it occurred to him.

Remus remembered the night before.

After a lot of protest, Sirius still busted into the Potters’ cellar after the moon rose. Remus was furious and terrified. He was frozen on the spot. It was too late. He was changing…he thought. He didn’t feel like every bone in his body was breaking. Instead, it felt like his body was melting and smoothly rearranged into the wolf.

Like during the time he was on the wolfsbane potion, Remus was lucid. Granted, the world was in muted colors. But he was lucid.

And his stupid boyfriend was standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring at him. He tried to get out a sarcastic remark that came out as a bark. It surprised both him and Sirius enough for both of them to straighten up.

“...Remus?”

Woof.

“Let’s try nod once if you understand me.”

Remus nodded.

“Now roll over if you’re not in pain.”

Remus scowled and rolled over.

A grin came over Sirius, he always wanted a dog. “I’m going to pet you, you fluffy fluff.”

Remus jumped on Sirius out of spite.


 

After that, things went back to before. Sirius would pretend to work when he was actually sneaking off to spend time with Remus. Sometimes they double dated with James, Lily, and Regulus. Sometimes Remus would read as Sirius scribbled on paper in a cafe shop. It was almost ideal the way the summer was coming to an end.

Until one morning when Sirius came down for breakfast to an unmarked envelope on his plate. Furrowing his brow, he looked at his parents then at Reggie.

“What’s this?”

“Why don’t you open it and see for yourself.” His mother answered curtly.

The envelope contained a photo of him and Remus holding hands as they were leaving the bookstore. They looked happy in the effortless way their hands swung as they fell into step together. He fought the pleasure raising in him over how obviously smitten they looked. Turning the photo over, there was a single note: “Sirius Black in love with werewolf.”

His heart sank. They couldn’t even name Remus.

Sirius didn’t need to look up to know what his parents were thinking. He could feel the weight of their glare on him. He stole at glance at Regulus. Regulus’ expression was blank as he stared into his tea. Taking a deep breath, Sirius set the photo and envelope down.

“Who sent this.” He kept his voice neutral while his mind was wildly spinning. How much does this person know? Anyone could have seen them in muggle London.

“It doesn’t matter who sent it, if it gets to the Daily Prophet, you’ll lose your platform!” Walburga Black screeched. “You are a disgrace to the Black family, couldn’t you keep your perversion behind closed doors?! Flaunting this...this werewolf around town!”

Sirius grounded his teeth. “I think you’re mistaken, Mother.”

“Then where is your research? You have been dragging your feet on your werewolf platform. Is there even a poison? Or were you too busy doing vile experiments-”

“My experiments were completed just as I have told father. I simply needed a werewolf to test on.” Sirius jabbed his finger on the photo. “An easy target.” That got Regulus to look up as Sirius started to lean back into his seat, mirroring his father’s position. “No family in England, no one knows him, and if anything goes wrong…we can simply say he had bad luck.”

The smirk on Sirius’ lip matched his mother. “Which is why, I need to know who caught this photo...I can’t have this coming back to bite me.”

“I’ll have that sorted then, don’t worry about it.” His father said, “Bellatrix’s husband thought he got his hand on an advantage on us. I just simply need to remind the LeStranges what it means to respect us.”

A chill ran through the room.


 

The LeStranges sent over the negatives, extra photos, and considered moving to France, where the weather was more agreeable. However awful they may be, the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black always watch after their own. Sirius burnt the photos and negatives, despite adoring the captured moments of them in the cafe, wandering through London, lingering by the train station…

Remus Lupin was in danger. Sirius needed a plan to make Remus not only irreplaceable to him, but to everyone else.


 

“James, I need you to keep an eye out for Remus.” Sirius spoke into his mirror.

“Of course, he’s my best friend.” James looked offended that Sirius even had to suggest such a thing.

“Good. I’m not going to be able to go out for a while. The LeStranges knows about me and Remus.”

“Shit. Well, what are you going to do?”

“Come up with a plan to make Remus indispensable.”

“...are you going to marry him?”

“That’s not going to stop my parents from murdering him.”

“That’s right, didn’t your mother kill off one of your uncles?”

“Disowned, James. Blacks don’t kill off Blacks. Lupins are free range.” 

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll go ahead and say the Lupine potion won’t work without him?”

“They’re going to keep him as a pet in the ministry.”

Sirius groaned loudly. “Can’t I just keep him locked up in my room?”

“Gross! Sirius, I don’t know what kind of kinky business you two get up to!”


 

Sirius brushed an imaginary stray hair away from his face. He practiced his iconic Black grin in the mirror. He looked good, he knew it. This was the day he was going to announce his stance on werewolf laws and take his place in the Ministry of Magic.

It has been weeks since he had seen Remus. Sirius didn’t have time to confer with James either. All he could do was give a passing glance to Reggie while he tore through old parchment and legal books. For a while, Sirius didn’t think the ink stains would ever leave his hands.

Now, it was too late. The time had come and he had to take his stance. The floo to the Ministry was uneventful, but when the doors opened there was a roar from the crowd. The streets were filled with people carrying signs protesting both for and against lycanthropy rights. Camera flashes were going off.

Sirius searched in the crowds. It was unlikely he would be able to find any familiar faces. Or if there even were any. Sirius felt disconnected as he slowly took his place next to his father. This was what he chose. To work for the Ministry of Magic so Reggie could do what he wanted and he could fight for Remus’ rights.

This was it. All the work of the past few weeks were about to pay off.

The speech was a blur. Sirius recalled the crowds gasping before erupting in both cheer and disgust. He knew his facts were right. He had taken all the lycanthropy-related laws and found loopholes where they needed to be repealed. Sirius cast aside stereotypes, pushing for evidence against prejudice. Then ended on the Lupine potion and how it would make every full moon safer and easier for everyone with lycanthropy to live.

His father had a look on his face as though as though he were about to avada kedavra him if there weren’t so many witnesses. There was some announcement that he couldn’t process until he was patted on the back. Looking beside him, his eyes widened in surprise to see Remus smiling next to him.

“...What…?” Panic started to build up inside of him. What did he do wrong? Were they going to publicly execute his boyfriend?

“I said, I’m happy to be working with you.” Remus repeated. “As someone with lycanthropy, I am very interested in your platform.”

“I...didn’t realize you were working for the Ministry.” Sirius quickly schooled his face back into a cool smile, shaking Remus’ hand as if they were merely business partners.

“I’m here on behalf of Dumbledore since he is currently unable to attend and I am his protege. I wanted to make sure I’m on top of the latest ministry changes that may affect me before I start my studies to become a professor.” Remus winked and Sirius felt like he could just float off the platform.



 

That night, in Remus’ tiny apartment, Sirius had his feet tucked under Remus’ legs on a lumpy bed, playing with the rubix cube. “Why didn’t you say you wanted to become a professor?”

“It didn’t look like it was a possibility, but when you stopped showing up, I figured you were probably thinking of some elaborate plan to supposedly keep me safe.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I was going to ask my exiled uncle to adopt you or something.”

Remus laughed. “If it helped, Regulus suggested we kidnap you to Wales, where we would have to live out the rest of our lives in hiding.”

Wiggling his toes under Remus’ legs, Sirius curled up closer to Remus. “I wouldn’t have minded that too much.”

“Between you and James, everyone in Britain would find us because of how loud you two were.”

“Why is James involved in our getaway life?!”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Wales is our getaway. James, Lily, and Reggie can run away to France or something.”

 

Date: 2018-12-23 07:21 pm (UTC)
abyss_valkyrie: made by <user name=magicrubbish> (Default)
From: [personal profile] abyss_valkyrie
Haha!!Remus stopping Sirius from hexing a First Year and Sirius feeling Remus' body while being annoyed,what a scene. I loved the dynamic you set up between James and Sirius,and Regulus and Sirius.Hehe,Remus telling Sirius to pull a dove out of his pocket,oh man,the imagery of Sirius all dressed to the nines for an outing in the Muggle city-I bet people thought he was cosplaying or something. XD

Sirius attracting attention everywhere is just so...Sirius.I can see it happening as I read this fic. And his enthusiasm for muggle stores and what they sell,the part where he lectures the jewelry shop salesmen was hilarious. Oh,Remus,what a way to make sure Sirius and you meet again. ;)

Oh my goodness,Sirius researching on werewolves and the way the article made it seem,damn, I'm scared of what it might do to Sirius and Remus' relationship. But oh,I really liked how you handled things with Remus being resigned at first and then accepting Sirius' love. How the Blacks look out for each other-good one!

Super happy to see their ending and how things worked out for them. <3

Date: 2018-12-24 10:25 am (UTC)
gothzabini: (Default)
From: [personal profile] gothzabini
I loved this AU!!! the werewolf politics!! James & Regulus & Lily!!!! Sirius exploring muggle things with limited success!! Slytherin thinking all around!!! Plot twist at the end!!!! I just. absolutely adore this, well done!!

Date: 2018-12-29 04:57 am (UTC)
chasingbluefish: (Default)
From: [personal profile] chasingbluefish
I adore you. I've told you a million times how much I love this idea of the werewolf politics and just akdhfhfjfn

Date: 2018-12-31 05:38 pm (UTC)
mindabbles: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mindabbles
Goodness, what a creative AU! I loved the reimagining of the relationships under these circumstances. I loved the surprise ending as well. Very nice!

Date: 2019-01-03 05:33 pm (UTC)
liseuse: (Default)
From: [personal profile] liseuse
Such a fun AU!

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