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small_giftsTitle: A Christmas First
Author/Artist:shoebox_addict
Recipient:maraudersaffair
Rating: Explicit
Contents or warnings: None
Word count: 5,782
Summary: Remus said he didn't want to have sex at James' parents' house, but sometimes these things can't be controlled.
Notes:This was such a fun prompt to play with! Apologies for not fitting in Snape somewhere, but I tried to stick to your main prompt quite closely, and I hope you like what I came up with! Happy Holidays!
“What do you know? There’s more in here!”
Remus sighed and followed Sirius into the spare bedroom where they’d be staying. This exact scene had been repeated five times already, and he was beginning to think that Sirius’ “tour of the Potters’ house” was actually just an excuse to find every hidden sprig of mistletoe in the large estate. He should have known -- Sirius’ actions were almost always driven by sixty percent ulterior motives and forty percent miscellaneous motives. It might even be eighty/twenty, if he was being honest. The first mistletoe encounter had been cute, but now Remus’ lips were genuinely beginning to tire.
“What a surprise,” he said in a deadpan tone, following Sirius into the room.
“And this is our room,” said Sirius, kicking the door shut behind him. “What luck.”
“Are James’ parents okay with us staying in the same room?” Remus asked.
Sirius shrugged. “Of course. They love me as one of their own and would never deny me a thing.”
“Yes, but do they mind?” said Remus.
“They’ve never said anything to the contrary,” said Sirius. “And yes, they do know about us.”
“Well, all right,” said Remus.
“Hey,” said Sirius, tugging on his elbow. “Hey, look. We’re under the mistletoe. You know what that means, right?”
Remus turned to him and smiled indulgently. “You know you don’t have to resort to holiday-related antics to get me to kiss you, right? I’ve been doing it quite willingly all over the castle for the past year.”
“Mm, yes,” said Sirius, pulling him close. “But this is so fun, don’t you think?”
In response, Remus kissed him. Yes, Sirius’ little joke was becoming tiresome, but Remus always found that that was the perfect time to turn the joke around on him. Besides, it wasn’t as though he disliked kissing Sirius. This time, Remus let his hands stray down to Sirius’ hips, enjoying the surprised noise he made. He pushed him gently until he was pressed up against the wall. Sirius hummed against his lips, trailing one hand up his back.
“Also,” said Sirius, pulling away to catch his breath. “I’m really glad that you’re here.”
“Really?” said Remus, leaning in to kiss along Sirius’ jaw. “Gosh, I couldn’t tell.”
“There are...there are more rooms to see,” said Sirius, his voice getting breathy now.
“Oh, of course,” said Remus. With one last teasing lick at Sirius’ earlobe, he pulled back and gave him his most innocent of smiles. Sirius stared at him with wide eyes, and then cleared his throat.
“Right. So. Shall we go and see where Peter is staying?”
Sirius opened the door and strode out into the hallway. Remus followed, unable to hide a smug smile. In the next room -- surprise, surprise -- they found some mistletoe hanging in the closet. Before Remus could do anything, Sirius pulled him in by his belt loops and began snogging him within an inch of his life.
“Merlin’s beard,” Remus exclaimed, when Sirius let him go. “That was...fuck.”
“Just trying to outdo you,” said Sirius, with a smirk. “Shall we go to the next room? I can’t wait to see what you do in there.”
“Hang on,” said Remus, grabbing the back of Sirius’ shirt to stop him before he pranced out of the closet. “We should, erm, let’s have a quick chat.”
Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “I’m all ears.”
Remus stared at him, furious at how sexy he looked leaning there. How could one boy make leaning look so appealing? Sirius, of course, was quite good with spellwork, but it was in moments like these that Remus realized he possessed an entirely different sort of magic. Without even trying, Sirius was constantly making ordinary things look glamorous and attractive. He thought this might originate at the juncture of an upper-class upbringing, natural good looks, and the fact that Remus was head over heels for him.
“I...I want to make sure of something,” said Remus, his mouth suddenly very dry. “This mistletoe is all fun and games, but we can’t let it go any further.”
“What d’you mean?”
“I mean, what we talked about before we left Hogwarts,” said Remus, making exaggerated movements with his eyebrows so that Sirius would catch and he needn’t say it out loud.
Sirius squinted at him and frowned. Then, all at once, realization dawned on his face. “I see. You don’t want to have sex in James’ parents’ house.”
“Precisely,” said Remus, glancing behind him. If this were a farce, James’ father would be standing there at that very moment. Luckily, they were still alone.
“I don’t see why not,” said Sirius. He pushed off from the doorframe and stepped toward Remus, a dangerous look on his face. “They have very comfortable beds here. Or, you know, if that’s not your thing, we could try the shower. Ooh, the shower would be fun.”
“No, stop it right now,” said Remus, stepping backward. “You can’t...they’re James’ parents. This is his family home. It would be completely embarrassing.”
“That’s a shit argument,” said Sirius. “You’re thinking about the shower thing, aren’t you?”
“What? No, of course not.” He definitely was.
“Let’s just see how the holidays play out, eh?” said Sirius. “Who knows? The moment may never come.”
Remus sighed. He was positive the moment would come. They had been on the precipice of that moment for months now. When they’d first started dating, though they were already having trouble keeping their hands off each other, they’d decided to take it relatively slow. There were many makeout sessions in the common room, and eventually they’d stumbled into a broom closet and stuck their hands down each other’s trousers. But they hadn’t gone any further than that. The knowledge of what was to come, what was possible, was already there. Though they both wanted to make that leap, they were also slightly terrified.
The subject had come up a month earlier, when Sirius had approached Remus with an invitation to spend Christmas with the Potters.
“We’ll even have our own room,” he’d said, waggling his eyebrows to ensure that Remus didn’t miss his point.
It was unavoidable. They’d had to discuss what might happen if they were alone, in a room of their own, with no pesky roommates hanging about.
“I think it would be the wrong time,” said Remus.
“You can’t pick and choose when the right time is,” said Sirius. “These things just happen.”
“How would you know? You said you’d never done it.”
“I haven’t. But I’ve seen Muggle films. These kinds of feelings are simply uncontrollable.”
As though Remus didn’t already know that. He couldn’t count the number of times Sirius had slid his foot against Remus’ leg during breakfast, and they’d both had to run off back to the dormitory under the guise of having left something behind. He would have been embarrassed by the sudden uncontrollable nature of his body if it hadn’t felt so damn good.
The worst part was that they’d never even finished that conversation. Sirius had begun kissing that particularly sensitive spot beneath Remus’ left ear, and everything had dissolved from there. Now, as proven by the escalating mistletoe encounters, they were clearly insatiable beasts who needed clear boundaries to be set.
“Perhaps,” said Remus. “Perhaps you could sleep on top of the duvet, and I could sleep under it.”
“I might get cold,” said Sirius.
“We could switch instead,” said Remus. “I do tend to run hot.”
“I’ll say you do,” said Sirius.
“Oh, honestly.”
“Hey, you two,” said James, calling up to them from somewhere downstairs. “Quit sucking each other’s faces and come join us.”
Remus was mortified, but Sirius simply grinned and shrugged. “Told you they didn’t mind.”
*************************
They had shared a bed many times at Hogwarts, despite James and Peter’s protests. Even after Remus began placing silencing charms around his four-poster bed, Peter insisted he could still hear them, and James said the mere thought of what they might be doing was keeping him awake. So they had to be quieter and even stealthier, but they managed because they couldn’t seem to spend even one night away from each other. The only thing that separated them was the full moon, as though Remus needed another reason to loathe his monthly transformation.
But now, with the house genuinely as quiet as the house in that old nursery rhyme, and with a room all to themselves, the bed was intimidating. When Remus returned from brushing his teeth, he found Sirius already nude and sprawled across most of the bed, with the duvet pulled artfully over several sensitive areas. How was he supposed to resist this?
“Are you trying to kill me?” he said, walking around to his side of the bed.
“Nope,” said Sirius. “Just trying to shag my boyfriend. You do want to, right? Because I could have been misinterpreting the past year. Please, just say the word.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “You haven’t been misinterpreting anything. I do want to, of course I do.”
“I’m here for the taking,” said Sirius, arms spread wide.
Remus considered him for a moment, all pale skin and dark hair. The features on Sirius’ face seemed to naturally fall into the most attractive arrangement. He could already feel the familiar rumblings of arousal as he slid carefully into the bed. It was impossible not to brush up against some part of Sirius, but of course he’d planned it that way. Remus settled in as comfortably as he possibly could, head sinking into the ridiculously soft pillows. His breath hitched when he felt Sirius rest his head on his shoulder.
“Penny for your thoughts, Moony?” he said, teasingly.
“You’re horrid,” he said.
“Funny, that’s not what you said last time we were in bed together,” said Sirius.
“No, but I’ve soured on you,” said Remus. “No fondness here, not at all.”
Sirius reached out to stroke Remus’ chest, fingertips moving lazily up and down his breastbone. Remus shivered, unable to stop himself. The nasty, rebellious part of his brain willed Sirius to keep it up, to perhaps let a finger stray across a nipple.
“Call me crazy,” said Sirius. “But I think you’re lying.”
“You are trying to kill me,” said Remus. “And on Christmas Eve no less.”
“Listen, I know you’ve been reading up on this.”
“Oh, God.”
“I’ve seen the magazines, and I think it’s very wise to do research beforehand.”
“Why me?”
“I mean, I certainly don’t know what I’m doing. One of us should have some idea of the next steps.”
Remus covered his eyes with one hand. “I just...I wanted to be prepared. I know all the basic...parts...but I don’t know what to do with them.”
“We’ll figure it out,” said Sirius, his tone soft and reassuring. Now he was making small circles near Remus’ collarbone, fingers gentle and slow. “Remus, you’re the first person I’ve wanted to make this move with. I know you think it’ll be embarrassing, but I’m comfortable at James’ house. I feel safe here, and loved. I know we won’t get interrupted like we would at Hogwarts. Frankly, I think it’s the perfect time.”
Remus pushed down the soft plume of pillow blocking his view. “Sirius.”
Sirius looked up at him, and Remus was struck in the chest by one of those uncontrollable feelings. Sirius was right -- you really couldn’t choose the timing of these things.
Remus enjoyed making the first move. It always seemed to surprise Sirius that he wanted to kiss him or touch him. Sometimes there was a sweet look of wonder on Sirius’ face as Remus moved in close. Tonight it was a different look, one that was open, ready, and grateful when Remus rolled over to gently kiss Sirius’ cheek. As he shifted closer, he ran his hand along Sirius’ bare stomach, scratching slightly with his nails. Sirius sighed against his mouth when he kissed him.
“Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked, his eyes still closed when Remus pulled back.
“Yeah,” said Remus.
“Did I wear you down?”
“No, you convinced me with all that talk of feeling safe and loved. Damn you.”
Sirius chuckled smugly, and then his eyes snapped open. “I did mean that, though. And I want to feel safe when we do this.”
“Don’t worry,” said Remus. “Let me know as soon as you don’t feel safe, okay?”
Sirius nodded. “Deal.”
Everything Remus had read fell into two categories -- too clinical, or overly amorous. By the time he’d finished with the magazines, he’d resolved to shag Sirius simply for research purposes. Then perhaps he could write his own guide, one that would actually be helpful for people who were neither robots nor characters in romance novels. Though the reading had been rough, it had given him some understanding of the fundamentals. The first part was simple; it was what they’d been doing for months now.
Remus got up onto his knees and straddled Sirius’ hips, leaning down to kiss him softly. Sirius ran his hands up Remus’ arms, lingering on his shoulders, and then moving up to grip the back of his neck. He pulled him closer, urging him on, and Remus deepened the kiss. Then he pulled back, trailing kisses along Sirius’ jawline and sucking at the skin near his ear. Sirius was moaning softly now, those sounds that came from the back of his throat and made Remus want to take him apart.
Just as Remus was about to ask if Sirius had the necessary supplies, Sirius slid his hand down Remus’ stomach to palm the front of his sweatpants. Completely caught off guard, Remus made a rather embarrassing noise and locked his elbows, not wanting to collapse on top of Sirius. It was tempting to remain in safe territory, to simply jut his hips against the firm presence of Sirius’ hand. But if he did that, this would all be over quite quickly.
“Oh, fuck,” he grunted. “You’ve got to stop that, like, right now.”
“Sorry,” said Sirius, not sounding sorry at all. He leaned up and peppered soft kisses along Remus’ exposed throat. He chose a spot near his adam’s apple and began sucking gently, humming against his skin. The feeling vibrated through Remus; he was having trouble concentrating now.
“Do you...fuck...do you have stuff? I mean, do you…”
Remus trailed off, completely losing track of what he’d meant to ask. Luckily, Sirius’ brain still seemed to be working. “I got condoms and lube. James took me to a Muggle chemists’ before you got here.”
“Mm, resourceful,” said Remus. “Very sexy.”
“I knew you’d think so,” said Sirius, winking at him. He shifted away from Remus and grabbed his wand from the bedside table. He summoned a small packet and a small bottle from elsewhere in the room and presented them to Remus.
“Right,” said Remus, examining the items. “Okay.”
“You see, the condom goes on your--”
“Yes, I know that, thank you.”
“Just checking.”
“Is this, erm, is this arrangement okay for you?” Remus asked.
“You mean the way you’re looming over me, all in control but with your hair doing that thing where it falls onto your forehead?” said Sirius, grinning. “Yeah, this is okay for me.”
Remus blushed and ripped open the condom packet. “Right. Well, here goes nothing.”
*************************
“That’s it, eh?”
“Suppose so.”
Remus wasn’t sure what else to say. It was a horrifying twist that what had been most embarrassing was not that they were in the Potters’ house. Rather, it had been the apparent inability of their bodies to gel together in any meaningful way. Remus’ hands knew exactly where to go, but after that things became fuzzy. They’d spent months making each other feel good, but everything they’d tried that night failed. Remus had felt a sense of foreboding when he’d managed to rip not one but two of the condoms Sirius had bought. He tried to rally after that, using the lube to prepare Sirius. That, admittedly, had gone very well, but as soon as his cock was involved, things had gone downhill.
He’d never considered it much before, but Remus was suddenly very concerned about his hand-eye coordination. His sense of aim wasn’t very good either. After missing his target several times, he’d had to guide himself in, which had embarrassed him so greatly that he lost his erection. He lost count of how many times he apologized to Sirius, his face burning as he tried again and again. In the end, he’d simply admitted defeat, still apologizing profusely.
Sirius, of course, had been achingly hard thanks to Remus’ probing fingers. Setting aside his mortification, Remus turned to something that he knew he was good at. He slid his hand up and down Sirius’ cock, letting his thumb linger on the tip and making Sirius arch up off the bed. Remus kissed him deeply, swallowing all his moans and little noises, just wanting to satisfy him after he’d failed so epically. After Sirius came, Remus flopped down beside him on the bed and beat himself up while Sirius caught his breath.
“Didn’t quite go to plan,” said Sirius.
“No,” said Remus. “Not really, no.”
“Thanks for...do you want me to help you out?”
“Ugh,” said Remus, flinging an arm across his eyes. “Don’t worry about it, I’m very much the opposite of aroused right now.”
“Fuck,” said Sirius. “I’m sorry it went so badly.”
Remus rolled over and put his hand on Sirius’ cheek. “It wasn’t anything you did. Maybe I’m just not very good at this.”
“Bollocks,” said Sirius. “It was our first time, it couldn’t possibly have been good.”
“Then why were you so eager to do it?”
“You’ve got to have a shitty first time before you can get to the good stuff.”
Remus supposed there was some wisdom in that, but he didn’t have the heart to agree with him just then. He felt stupid for thinking he could take the lead and try this out. What could magazines possibly teach him? The only way to learn something like this was by doing it, but he hadn’t been prepared for how badly he might fail. At that very moment, all he could do was move closer to Sirius on the bed and lean his head against his shoulder. He felt a bit better when Sirius put his arm around him, holding him close.
“Promise me we’ll try again,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Remus’ head.
“Lucky for you, chances are that you’ll turn me on again in the very near future.”
Sirius chuckled. “Good. And, you know, practice makes perfect. I hate when I finish and you don’t. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes,” said Remus. He pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I think I’d just like to sleep now.”
Sirius managed to grab his wand without letting go of Remus. With a whispered “nox,” the lights went out in the room and Remus stared at the ceiling until his eyes adjusted to the dark. In a matter of minutes, Sirius was breathing deep and even next to him. Remus concentrated on that calming sound, and soon he fell asleep too.
When they awoke on Christmas morning, everyone was already downstairs, gathered around the enormous tree that James’ parents had set up and decorated. Though no one said anything, Remus had the horrible feeling that they knew what had transpired in their bedroom the night before. Despite this, he soldiered on, accepting a warm mug of spiced tea from Mr. Potter, and an artfully wrapped present from Mrs. Potter.
Remus found it impossible to concentrate on the festivities, which he usually enjoyed. Breakfast was delicious -- Mrs. Potter made each of them a full English -- but Remus ate mechanically, simply going through the motions of chewing and nodding at everyone’s conversation. He was sure people noticed that something was wrong, but he only saw concerned glances from Sirius. As long as no one asked him what he was thinking about, he was safe, because he was fixating on every detail of the previous night.
Somewhere between breakfast and his third cup of tea, Sirius cornered him on his way back from the loo.
“What’s going on with you?” he said, eyebrows knitted together. “We already had a full moon this month, right?”
“Yes, it’s not that,” said Remus, shaking his head. “I...I can’t stop thinking about last night.”
“You and me both,” said Sirius, grinning lasciviously.
“No, I mean the disastrous part,” said Remus. “I haven’t been this obsessed since I failed that Potions exam and examined every little detail so that I could improve.”
“Oh, God, don’t think about Potions when we’re shagging. Far too close to Snivellus territory.”
Remus rolled his eyes, inwardly marveling at Sirius’ ability to bring Snape up at every possible turn. Speaking of obsession. “Right, whatever, I know. You’ll give me another chance, right?”
“Oh, my God, Remus.” Sirius gripped his upper arms and looked him dead in the eyes. “How much clearer can I be about this? I’m in love with you, and one failed attempt at sex is not going to change that.”
Remus blinked. He could feel the heat rising up his neck to his cheeks. “You...you’re in love with me?”
“Of course,” said Sirius, matter-of-factly. “What? Haven’t I said it before?”
“No, you most certainly have not.”
“Oh.” Now it was Sirius’ turn to blush. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around the corridor, anywhere but at Remus. “I could have sworn I’d said it.”
Remus didn’t know what to do with himself. Now he really wanted to have a second chance at ravaging Sirius. He figured he would need to wait until that night, though, so he settled for stepping up to him, cupping his cheek, and kissing him gently.
“Hey, I’m in love with you too,” he said, smiling when he pulled away.
The grin on Sirius’ face practically lit up the corridor; it could have rivalled the grand Christmas tree downstairs. Remus was amazed that something he’d said had made Sirius look like that. He could feel something akin to a small flame in his own chest, burning more brightly now that feelings had been spoken aloud. He’d wondered, of course, whether they were simply having a bit of fun together. He replayed Sirius’ words in his head, leaning in to kiss him again.
One might have thought that this would increase the pressure to perform, but Remus felt more confident. Now that he knew it wasn’t just a lark, that Sirius was in love with him (bloody hell, that would never get old), he felt more at ease. They were in love, and Sirius would certainly be patient with him. His obsession of mere minutes earlier had disappeared, replaced by an eagerness to try again and enjoy the experience rather than get it right.
Remus felt light and giddy for the rest of the day, laughing more easily and joining in the conversation. Mr. Potter showed him some of his record collection, and they played some old jazz during dinner. Every now and then, Remus would glance at Sirius and something would spark between them. They had a new secret now, one outside of their lusty pursuits. Now he didn’t much care if the others noticed them smiling at each other.
At the end of the evening, Mr. and Mrs. Potter were the first to head to bed. Though Peter’s eyelids were heavy, and he sat with his head propped on one hand, he made a valiant effort at staying awake to play cards.
“Tomorrow, lads,” he said, eventually. “We’ll play another round tomorrow.”
“Sure thing, Pete,” said James, nodding to him as he stumbled up the stairs.
When it was just the three of them left, James smiled at Remus and Sirius knowingly. For a moment, Remus was sure that James would deal the cards again, or propose a different game to keep them up for longer, just to tease them. But eventually he stood up and stretched his arms over his head in an exaggerated show of fatigue.
“Long day,” he said. “Suppose you two want to get to bed as well.”
Remus opened his mouth to politely equivocate, but Sirius said “yes” rather emphatically. James smirked. “Right, then. Goodnight! Happy Christmas!”
They waited until they’d heard James shut his bedroom door. Sirius stood first, and Remus followed him, a new surge of anxiety hitting him as soon as he was on the stairs. But then Sirius held his hand out behind him. Remus took it and instantly felt better when Sirius squeezed their fingers together.
Back in their bedroom, Sirius shut the door softly, locked it, and cast a quick silencing charm. He set his wand down on the bedside table and took Remus’ face into his hands. When they kissed, it was the slow and languorous meshing that reminded Remus of Saturday mornings at Hogwarts when it was raining and dark outside. They moved together in a sort of slow dance, Sirius pushing forward and Remus pushing back. Sirius followed his lead, letting him set the tone and the pace. Remus spent an absurdly long time worrying at Sirius’ bottom lip, only stopping when Sirius let out a soft moan. He didn’t want to move things along too quickly.
“Are you relaxed?” Sirius asked, hands running up and down Remus’ back.
Remus nodded. “Yes. Any more relaxed and I’ll fall asleep.”
Sirius chuckled softly, fingers working their way beneath Remus’ jumper. “Me too. Do you...do you feel comfortable enough to try again?”
Remus pulled back so that he could look properly at Sirius. His hair was sticking up on one side where Remus had gripped it. His lips were swollen, and his eyes were overly bright. He was the most beautiful thing Remus had ever seen, and he wasn’t sure what string of events had led to them standing so close with such possibility between them.
“I can’t believe you said you’re in love with me,” said Remus, fixing Sirius’ hair.
Sirius smiled and glanced down bashfully. “I’ve wanted to say it for a long time. Are you sure it never slipped out while I was drunk or something?”
“If it had, I think I would have remembered that,” said Remus.
“Well, now it’s out there,” said Sirius. “If I was smarter I would have said it, like, three years ago.”
“What?” said Remus.
“Er, yeah,” said Sirius. “I’ve had a crush on you pretty much since day one.”
Remus could feel his face burning. “What are you talking about?”
“You know,” said Sirius. “At our first welcome feast? I’d just been sorted into Gryffindor, like the massive disappointment that I am, and Lucius Malfoy was shooting peas at me from across the room. I knew it was him, he was so fucking obvious about it, but I didn’t know what to do about it. James was glaring at him, but before he could even take out his wand, you lifted yours and a whole treacle tart flew up off the Slytherin table and landed on Malfoy’s head.”
Remus stared at him. “My God, I’d completely forgotten about that until just now.”
“Well, in your defense, many more treacle tarts have ended up on many more people’s heads since then,” said Sirius.
“So, that’s what did it for you, eh?”
“That was only the beginning,” said Sirius.
“Not the most romantic of starts.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I think it’s incredibly romantic to plop a sticky dessert onto the head of your friend’s enemy.”
“I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“Are you kidding? It’s burned onto my brain,” said Sirius. “You didn’t even say anything, aside from the spell. You just carried on eating your bloody roast chicken.”
Remus laughed. He hadn’t thought to talk about these things with Sirius. Moments like that seemed so commonplace, like simple threads in the vast tapestry of their friendship thus far. In books, when people were beginning to date and woo each other, they often talked about their pasts, but Remus’ past was so intertwined with Sirius’ already. Anything before Hogwarts had already been discussed. But perhaps there was a new layer to add to some of their memories.
“In third year,” he said. “There was a particularly bad full moon. I think I’d eaten a rabbit or something, and I was just so wretchedly ill the next day. I think James and Peter were a bit put off, which I don’t fault them for, but you stuck around.”
“Shit, I remember that,” said Sirius, smiling fondly. “You had to have two buckets -- one for being sick in, and one for being sick in while the other one was getting a thorough Scourgifying.”
Remus winced. “Yes, it was rather disgusting. But you sat with me and told me about the Christmas when you’d eaten all your sugar mice, and Regulus’ sugar mice as well, and then you were sick all over the dining room table. You said you’d been even sicker than me.”
“That was a lie,” Sirius whispered conspiratorially. “No one could ever be as sick as you were that day. I just wanted to make you feel better.”
Remus winked at him. “I sort of guessed that. Anyway, after that I, er, I felt a bit differently about you.”
“What wonderful stories we have for the grandkids,” said Sirius. “A treacle tart in someone’s hair, and a morning spent enthusiastically vomiting.”
Remus laughed and looped his arms around Sirius’ waist. “We can make up better stories.”
Sirius smiled and kissed him. Remus didn’t even have to think about it now. Sirius had made him feel so at ease that his nerves were completely gone. If he messed up again, this would just be another memory for them to laugh about later. With his hand on the back of Sirius’ neck, Remus deepened their kiss, pressing closer to him and smiling at Sirius’ sudden gasp. They moved closer to the bed, every movement more charged and fevered now. It felt like just any night at Hogwarts, in their dorm, trying to satisfy each other.
Remus summoned their supplies this time, remembering what he’d done wrong with the condom the previous night. When he ripped the package open and began to feel flustered, he glanced up at Sirius, who gave him a reassuring smile. Why hadn’t he looked at Sirius more last night? Why had he been so lost in his own head?
Knowing now how much Sirius enjoyed it, Remus took his time with spreading him and gently probing to find the spots that turned him to jelly. Soon Sirius was so keyed up that Remus knew he was ready for him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes until he felt Sirius take his hand. His eyes snapped open to find Sirius’ gaze.
“No pressure,” said Sirius, breathing heavily but smiling serenely at him.
Remus nodded and moved between Sirius’ legs to find a comfortable position. He moved slowly, watching Sirius in case he accidentally hurt him. He had to stop halfway in, overcome by the sensation, and Sirius reached out to squeeze his arm.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You...oh, fuck...you prepared me really well. I’m ready.”
Remus moved again and instantly felt like he was about to come. It was too soon; he panicked and pulled out, just relieved that he hadn’t gone limp again. He took deep breaths and locked eyes with Sirius, who nodded to him.
“It’s all right,” he said. “Try again, it’s okay.”
Remus curved over Sirius’ body and pushed in again. It was easier this time, but he knew he wouldn’t last long. It was all so overwhelming -- the feel of being inside Sirius, the look on Sirius’ face as Remus moved his hips, the sound of his panting breaths, the rapid beat of his own heart. Everything closed in on him, converging until he felt his orgasm approaching and could do nothing to stop it. His hips jerked and he cried out, apologies tumbling from his lips as soon as he could think again. Remus pulled out, his chest heaving and his eyes closed.
“Hey, you’re all right,” said Sirius, sitting up to wrap his arms around Remus.
“Fuck, it was so quick, I’m sorry,” said Remus, leaning his forehead against Sirius’ shoulder.
“You want to hear something amazing?” said Sirius. “We can do it again. We can do it again tonight if you really want to.”
“I do,” said Remus, lifting his head to kiss Sirius. “God, I really do.”
Sirius licked into his mouth, making Remus shiver, and guided one of Remus’ hands down between them. This time Remus felt boneless and blissful from his own orgasm, and he moved more deftly, kissing Sirius into submission as he pumped his cock. In what seemed like seconds, Sirius came with Remus’ name on his lips, nuzzling against his neck as the feeling faded and he turned into sleepy, post-coital Sirius.
“I love you,” he whispered, and Remus kissed his cheek.
“I love you too, and I am sorry that it ended so soon,” he said.
“Hey,” said Sirius. “Remember what I said about practice making perfect? Well, I want to practice that every fucking night, and you’re going to be amazing in no time.”
Remus chuckled. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”
With a quick wave of his wand, Remus cleaned them both up, and then he guided Sirius down onto the bed. Though Remus hadn’t noticed the previous night, he was now very appreciative of the Potters’ soft beds. Sirius snuggled in close to him, already half asleep, and Remus pulled the duvet over them both. He pressed a soft kiss to Sirius’ lips, and Sirus’ eyes lazily drifted open.
“I’m dead right now,” he said. “And that’s because you well and thoroughly fucked me, so I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
Remus blushed and shook his head. “I’ll get better, I promise.”
“We’ll get better together,” said Sirius.
Remus huddled down further under the duvet and moved into Sirius’ arms. As soon as he lay there, with the sound of Sirius’ breath evening out in his ear, Remus felt fatigue overtake him. He’d spent most of the day tense with worry, and though he knew he could do better he did feel proud of their second time. Eventually he drifted off to sleep with thoughts of stronger silencing charms for his four-poster back at Hogwarts.
Author/Artist:
shoebox_addictRecipient:
maraudersaffairRating: Explicit
Contents or warnings: None
Word count: 5,782
Summary: Remus said he didn't want to have sex at James' parents' house, but sometimes these things can't be controlled.
Notes:This was such a fun prompt to play with! Apologies for not fitting in Snape somewhere, but I tried to stick to your main prompt quite closely, and I hope you like what I came up with! Happy Holidays!
“What do you know? There’s more in here!”
Remus sighed and followed Sirius into the spare bedroom where they’d be staying. This exact scene had been repeated five times already, and he was beginning to think that Sirius’ “tour of the Potters’ house” was actually just an excuse to find every hidden sprig of mistletoe in the large estate. He should have known -- Sirius’ actions were almost always driven by sixty percent ulterior motives and forty percent miscellaneous motives. It might even be eighty/twenty, if he was being honest. The first mistletoe encounter had been cute, but now Remus’ lips were genuinely beginning to tire.
“What a surprise,” he said in a deadpan tone, following Sirius into the room.
“And this is our room,” said Sirius, kicking the door shut behind him. “What luck.”
“Are James’ parents okay with us staying in the same room?” Remus asked.
Sirius shrugged. “Of course. They love me as one of their own and would never deny me a thing.”
“Yes, but do they mind?” said Remus.
“They’ve never said anything to the contrary,” said Sirius. “And yes, they do know about us.”
“Well, all right,” said Remus.
“Hey,” said Sirius, tugging on his elbow. “Hey, look. We’re under the mistletoe. You know what that means, right?”
Remus turned to him and smiled indulgently. “You know you don’t have to resort to holiday-related antics to get me to kiss you, right? I’ve been doing it quite willingly all over the castle for the past year.”
“Mm, yes,” said Sirius, pulling him close. “But this is so fun, don’t you think?”
In response, Remus kissed him. Yes, Sirius’ little joke was becoming tiresome, but Remus always found that that was the perfect time to turn the joke around on him. Besides, it wasn’t as though he disliked kissing Sirius. This time, Remus let his hands stray down to Sirius’ hips, enjoying the surprised noise he made. He pushed him gently until he was pressed up against the wall. Sirius hummed against his lips, trailing one hand up his back.
“Also,” said Sirius, pulling away to catch his breath. “I’m really glad that you’re here.”
“Really?” said Remus, leaning in to kiss along Sirius’ jaw. “Gosh, I couldn’t tell.”
“There are...there are more rooms to see,” said Sirius, his voice getting breathy now.
“Oh, of course,” said Remus. With one last teasing lick at Sirius’ earlobe, he pulled back and gave him his most innocent of smiles. Sirius stared at him with wide eyes, and then cleared his throat.
“Right. So. Shall we go and see where Peter is staying?”
Sirius opened the door and strode out into the hallway. Remus followed, unable to hide a smug smile. In the next room -- surprise, surprise -- they found some mistletoe hanging in the closet. Before Remus could do anything, Sirius pulled him in by his belt loops and began snogging him within an inch of his life.
“Merlin’s beard,” Remus exclaimed, when Sirius let him go. “That was...fuck.”
“Just trying to outdo you,” said Sirius, with a smirk. “Shall we go to the next room? I can’t wait to see what you do in there.”
“Hang on,” said Remus, grabbing the back of Sirius’ shirt to stop him before he pranced out of the closet. “We should, erm, let’s have a quick chat.”
Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “I’m all ears.”
Remus stared at him, furious at how sexy he looked leaning there. How could one boy make leaning look so appealing? Sirius, of course, was quite good with spellwork, but it was in moments like these that Remus realized he possessed an entirely different sort of magic. Without even trying, Sirius was constantly making ordinary things look glamorous and attractive. He thought this might originate at the juncture of an upper-class upbringing, natural good looks, and the fact that Remus was head over heels for him.
“I...I want to make sure of something,” said Remus, his mouth suddenly very dry. “This mistletoe is all fun and games, but we can’t let it go any further.”
“What d’you mean?”
“I mean, what we talked about before we left Hogwarts,” said Remus, making exaggerated movements with his eyebrows so that Sirius would catch and he needn’t say it out loud.
Sirius squinted at him and frowned. Then, all at once, realization dawned on his face. “I see. You don’t want to have sex in James’ parents’ house.”
“Precisely,” said Remus, glancing behind him. If this were a farce, James’ father would be standing there at that very moment. Luckily, they were still alone.
“I don’t see why not,” said Sirius. He pushed off from the doorframe and stepped toward Remus, a dangerous look on his face. “They have very comfortable beds here. Or, you know, if that’s not your thing, we could try the shower. Ooh, the shower would be fun.”
“No, stop it right now,” said Remus, stepping backward. “You can’t...they’re James’ parents. This is his family home. It would be completely embarrassing.”
“That’s a shit argument,” said Sirius. “You’re thinking about the shower thing, aren’t you?”
“What? No, of course not.” He definitely was.
“Let’s just see how the holidays play out, eh?” said Sirius. “Who knows? The moment may never come.”
Remus sighed. He was positive the moment would come. They had been on the precipice of that moment for months now. When they’d first started dating, though they were already having trouble keeping their hands off each other, they’d decided to take it relatively slow. There were many makeout sessions in the common room, and eventually they’d stumbled into a broom closet and stuck their hands down each other’s trousers. But they hadn’t gone any further than that. The knowledge of what was to come, what was possible, was already there. Though they both wanted to make that leap, they were also slightly terrified.
The subject had come up a month earlier, when Sirius had approached Remus with an invitation to spend Christmas with the Potters.
“We’ll even have our own room,” he’d said, waggling his eyebrows to ensure that Remus didn’t miss his point.
It was unavoidable. They’d had to discuss what might happen if they were alone, in a room of their own, with no pesky roommates hanging about.
“I think it would be the wrong time,” said Remus.
“You can’t pick and choose when the right time is,” said Sirius. “These things just happen.”
“How would you know? You said you’d never done it.”
“I haven’t. But I’ve seen Muggle films. These kinds of feelings are simply uncontrollable.”
As though Remus didn’t already know that. He couldn’t count the number of times Sirius had slid his foot against Remus’ leg during breakfast, and they’d both had to run off back to the dormitory under the guise of having left something behind. He would have been embarrassed by the sudden uncontrollable nature of his body if it hadn’t felt so damn good.
The worst part was that they’d never even finished that conversation. Sirius had begun kissing that particularly sensitive spot beneath Remus’ left ear, and everything had dissolved from there. Now, as proven by the escalating mistletoe encounters, they were clearly insatiable beasts who needed clear boundaries to be set.
“Perhaps,” said Remus. “Perhaps you could sleep on top of the duvet, and I could sleep under it.”
“I might get cold,” said Sirius.
“We could switch instead,” said Remus. “I do tend to run hot.”
“I’ll say you do,” said Sirius.
“Oh, honestly.”
“Hey, you two,” said James, calling up to them from somewhere downstairs. “Quit sucking each other’s faces and come join us.”
Remus was mortified, but Sirius simply grinned and shrugged. “Told you they didn’t mind.”
They had shared a bed many times at Hogwarts, despite James and Peter’s protests. Even after Remus began placing silencing charms around his four-poster bed, Peter insisted he could still hear them, and James said the mere thought of what they might be doing was keeping him awake. So they had to be quieter and even stealthier, but they managed because they couldn’t seem to spend even one night away from each other. The only thing that separated them was the full moon, as though Remus needed another reason to loathe his monthly transformation.
But now, with the house genuinely as quiet as the house in that old nursery rhyme, and with a room all to themselves, the bed was intimidating. When Remus returned from brushing his teeth, he found Sirius already nude and sprawled across most of the bed, with the duvet pulled artfully over several sensitive areas. How was he supposed to resist this?
“Are you trying to kill me?” he said, walking around to his side of the bed.
“Nope,” said Sirius. “Just trying to shag my boyfriend. You do want to, right? Because I could have been misinterpreting the past year. Please, just say the word.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “You haven’t been misinterpreting anything. I do want to, of course I do.”
“I’m here for the taking,” said Sirius, arms spread wide.
Remus considered him for a moment, all pale skin and dark hair. The features on Sirius’ face seemed to naturally fall into the most attractive arrangement. He could already feel the familiar rumblings of arousal as he slid carefully into the bed. It was impossible not to brush up against some part of Sirius, but of course he’d planned it that way. Remus settled in as comfortably as he possibly could, head sinking into the ridiculously soft pillows. His breath hitched when he felt Sirius rest his head on his shoulder.
“Penny for your thoughts, Moony?” he said, teasingly.
“You’re horrid,” he said.
“Funny, that’s not what you said last time we were in bed together,” said Sirius.
“No, but I’ve soured on you,” said Remus. “No fondness here, not at all.”
Sirius reached out to stroke Remus’ chest, fingertips moving lazily up and down his breastbone. Remus shivered, unable to stop himself. The nasty, rebellious part of his brain willed Sirius to keep it up, to perhaps let a finger stray across a nipple.
“Call me crazy,” said Sirius. “But I think you’re lying.”
“You are trying to kill me,” said Remus. “And on Christmas Eve no less.”
“Listen, I know you’ve been reading up on this.”
“Oh, God.”
“I’ve seen the magazines, and I think it’s very wise to do research beforehand.”
“Why me?”
“I mean, I certainly don’t know what I’m doing. One of us should have some idea of the next steps.”
Remus covered his eyes with one hand. “I just...I wanted to be prepared. I know all the basic...parts...but I don’t know what to do with them.”
“We’ll figure it out,” said Sirius, his tone soft and reassuring. Now he was making small circles near Remus’ collarbone, fingers gentle and slow. “Remus, you’re the first person I’ve wanted to make this move with. I know you think it’ll be embarrassing, but I’m comfortable at James’ house. I feel safe here, and loved. I know we won’t get interrupted like we would at Hogwarts. Frankly, I think it’s the perfect time.”
Remus pushed down the soft plume of pillow blocking his view. “Sirius.”
Sirius looked up at him, and Remus was struck in the chest by one of those uncontrollable feelings. Sirius was right -- you really couldn’t choose the timing of these things.
Remus enjoyed making the first move. It always seemed to surprise Sirius that he wanted to kiss him or touch him. Sometimes there was a sweet look of wonder on Sirius’ face as Remus moved in close. Tonight it was a different look, one that was open, ready, and grateful when Remus rolled over to gently kiss Sirius’ cheek. As he shifted closer, he ran his hand along Sirius’ bare stomach, scratching slightly with his nails. Sirius sighed against his mouth when he kissed him.
“Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked, his eyes still closed when Remus pulled back.
“Yeah,” said Remus.
“Did I wear you down?”
“No, you convinced me with all that talk of feeling safe and loved. Damn you.”
Sirius chuckled smugly, and then his eyes snapped open. “I did mean that, though. And I want to feel safe when we do this.”
“Don’t worry,” said Remus. “Let me know as soon as you don’t feel safe, okay?”
Sirius nodded. “Deal.”
Everything Remus had read fell into two categories -- too clinical, or overly amorous. By the time he’d finished with the magazines, he’d resolved to shag Sirius simply for research purposes. Then perhaps he could write his own guide, one that would actually be helpful for people who were neither robots nor characters in romance novels. Though the reading had been rough, it had given him some understanding of the fundamentals. The first part was simple; it was what they’d been doing for months now.
Remus got up onto his knees and straddled Sirius’ hips, leaning down to kiss him softly. Sirius ran his hands up Remus’ arms, lingering on his shoulders, and then moving up to grip the back of his neck. He pulled him closer, urging him on, and Remus deepened the kiss. Then he pulled back, trailing kisses along Sirius’ jawline and sucking at the skin near his ear. Sirius was moaning softly now, those sounds that came from the back of his throat and made Remus want to take him apart.
Just as Remus was about to ask if Sirius had the necessary supplies, Sirius slid his hand down Remus’ stomach to palm the front of his sweatpants. Completely caught off guard, Remus made a rather embarrassing noise and locked his elbows, not wanting to collapse on top of Sirius. It was tempting to remain in safe territory, to simply jut his hips against the firm presence of Sirius’ hand. But if he did that, this would all be over quite quickly.
“Oh, fuck,” he grunted. “You’ve got to stop that, like, right now.”
“Sorry,” said Sirius, not sounding sorry at all. He leaned up and peppered soft kisses along Remus’ exposed throat. He chose a spot near his adam’s apple and began sucking gently, humming against his skin. The feeling vibrated through Remus; he was having trouble concentrating now.
“Do you...fuck...do you have stuff? I mean, do you…”
Remus trailed off, completely losing track of what he’d meant to ask. Luckily, Sirius’ brain still seemed to be working. “I got condoms and lube. James took me to a Muggle chemists’ before you got here.”
“Mm, resourceful,” said Remus. “Very sexy.”
“I knew you’d think so,” said Sirius, winking at him. He shifted away from Remus and grabbed his wand from the bedside table. He summoned a small packet and a small bottle from elsewhere in the room and presented them to Remus.
“Right,” said Remus, examining the items. “Okay.”
“You see, the condom goes on your--”
“Yes, I know that, thank you.”
“Just checking.”
“Is this, erm, is this arrangement okay for you?” Remus asked.
“You mean the way you’re looming over me, all in control but with your hair doing that thing where it falls onto your forehead?” said Sirius, grinning. “Yeah, this is okay for me.”
Remus blushed and ripped open the condom packet. “Right. Well, here goes nothing.”
“That’s it, eh?”
“Suppose so.”
Remus wasn’t sure what else to say. It was a horrifying twist that what had been most embarrassing was not that they were in the Potters’ house. Rather, it had been the apparent inability of their bodies to gel together in any meaningful way. Remus’ hands knew exactly where to go, but after that things became fuzzy. They’d spent months making each other feel good, but everything they’d tried that night failed. Remus had felt a sense of foreboding when he’d managed to rip not one but two of the condoms Sirius had bought. He tried to rally after that, using the lube to prepare Sirius. That, admittedly, had gone very well, but as soon as his cock was involved, things had gone downhill.
He’d never considered it much before, but Remus was suddenly very concerned about his hand-eye coordination. His sense of aim wasn’t very good either. After missing his target several times, he’d had to guide himself in, which had embarrassed him so greatly that he lost his erection. He lost count of how many times he apologized to Sirius, his face burning as he tried again and again. In the end, he’d simply admitted defeat, still apologizing profusely.
Sirius, of course, had been achingly hard thanks to Remus’ probing fingers. Setting aside his mortification, Remus turned to something that he knew he was good at. He slid his hand up and down Sirius’ cock, letting his thumb linger on the tip and making Sirius arch up off the bed. Remus kissed him deeply, swallowing all his moans and little noises, just wanting to satisfy him after he’d failed so epically. After Sirius came, Remus flopped down beside him on the bed and beat himself up while Sirius caught his breath.
“Didn’t quite go to plan,” said Sirius.
“No,” said Remus. “Not really, no.”
“Thanks for...do you want me to help you out?”
“Ugh,” said Remus, flinging an arm across his eyes. “Don’t worry about it, I’m very much the opposite of aroused right now.”
“Fuck,” said Sirius. “I’m sorry it went so badly.”
Remus rolled over and put his hand on Sirius’ cheek. “It wasn’t anything you did. Maybe I’m just not very good at this.”
“Bollocks,” said Sirius. “It was our first time, it couldn’t possibly have been good.”
“Then why were you so eager to do it?”
“You’ve got to have a shitty first time before you can get to the good stuff.”
Remus supposed there was some wisdom in that, but he didn’t have the heart to agree with him just then. He felt stupid for thinking he could take the lead and try this out. What could magazines possibly teach him? The only way to learn something like this was by doing it, but he hadn’t been prepared for how badly he might fail. At that very moment, all he could do was move closer to Sirius on the bed and lean his head against his shoulder. He felt a bit better when Sirius put his arm around him, holding him close.
“Promise me we’ll try again,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Remus’ head.
“Lucky for you, chances are that you’ll turn me on again in the very near future.”
Sirius chuckled. “Good. And, you know, practice makes perfect. I hate when I finish and you don’t. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes,” said Remus. He pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I think I’d just like to sleep now.”
Sirius managed to grab his wand without letting go of Remus. With a whispered “nox,” the lights went out in the room and Remus stared at the ceiling until his eyes adjusted to the dark. In a matter of minutes, Sirius was breathing deep and even next to him. Remus concentrated on that calming sound, and soon he fell asleep too.
When they awoke on Christmas morning, everyone was already downstairs, gathered around the enormous tree that James’ parents had set up and decorated. Though no one said anything, Remus had the horrible feeling that they knew what had transpired in their bedroom the night before. Despite this, he soldiered on, accepting a warm mug of spiced tea from Mr. Potter, and an artfully wrapped present from Mrs. Potter.
Remus found it impossible to concentrate on the festivities, which he usually enjoyed. Breakfast was delicious -- Mrs. Potter made each of them a full English -- but Remus ate mechanically, simply going through the motions of chewing and nodding at everyone’s conversation. He was sure people noticed that something was wrong, but he only saw concerned glances from Sirius. As long as no one asked him what he was thinking about, he was safe, because he was fixating on every detail of the previous night.
Somewhere between breakfast and his third cup of tea, Sirius cornered him on his way back from the loo.
“What’s going on with you?” he said, eyebrows knitted together. “We already had a full moon this month, right?”
“Yes, it’s not that,” said Remus, shaking his head. “I...I can’t stop thinking about last night.”
“You and me both,” said Sirius, grinning lasciviously.
“No, I mean the disastrous part,” said Remus. “I haven’t been this obsessed since I failed that Potions exam and examined every little detail so that I could improve.”
“Oh, God, don’t think about Potions when we’re shagging. Far too close to Snivellus territory.”
Remus rolled his eyes, inwardly marveling at Sirius’ ability to bring Snape up at every possible turn. Speaking of obsession. “Right, whatever, I know. You’ll give me another chance, right?”
“Oh, my God, Remus.” Sirius gripped his upper arms and looked him dead in the eyes. “How much clearer can I be about this? I’m in love with you, and one failed attempt at sex is not going to change that.”
Remus blinked. He could feel the heat rising up his neck to his cheeks. “You...you’re in love with me?”
“Of course,” said Sirius, matter-of-factly. “What? Haven’t I said it before?”
“No, you most certainly have not.”
“Oh.” Now it was Sirius’ turn to blush. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around the corridor, anywhere but at Remus. “I could have sworn I’d said it.”
Remus didn’t know what to do with himself. Now he really wanted to have a second chance at ravaging Sirius. He figured he would need to wait until that night, though, so he settled for stepping up to him, cupping his cheek, and kissing him gently.
“Hey, I’m in love with you too,” he said, smiling when he pulled away.
The grin on Sirius’ face practically lit up the corridor; it could have rivalled the grand Christmas tree downstairs. Remus was amazed that something he’d said had made Sirius look like that. He could feel something akin to a small flame in his own chest, burning more brightly now that feelings had been spoken aloud. He’d wondered, of course, whether they were simply having a bit of fun together. He replayed Sirius’ words in his head, leaning in to kiss him again.
One might have thought that this would increase the pressure to perform, but Remus felt more confident. Now that he knew it wasn’t just a lark, that Sirius was in love with him (bloody hell, that would never get old), he felt more at ease. They were in love, and Sirius would certainly be patient with him. His obsession of mere minutes earlier had disappeared, replaced by an eagerness to try again and enjoy the experience rather than get it right.
Remus felt light and giddy for the rest of the day, laughing more easily and joining in the conversation. Mr. Potter showed him some of his record collection, and they played some old jazz during dinner. Every now and then, Remus would glance at Sirius and something would spark between them. They had a new secret now, one outside of their lusty pursuits. Now he didn’t much care if the others noticed them smiling at each other.
At the end of the evening, Mr. and Mrs. Potter were the first to head to bed. Though Peter’s eyelids were heavy, and he sat with his head propped on one hand, he made a valiant effort at staying awake to play cards.
“Tomorrow, lads,” he said, eventually. “We’ll play another round tomorrow.”
“Sure thing, Pete,” said James, nodding to him as he stumbled up the stairs.
When it was just the three of them left, James smiled at Remus and Sirius knowingly. For a moment, Remus was sure that James would deal the cards again, or propose a different game to keep them up for longer, just to tease them. But eventually he stood up and stretched his arms over his head in an exaggerated show of fatigue.
“Long day,” he said. “Suppose you two want to get to bed as well.”
Remus opened his mouth to politely equivocate, but Sirius said “yes” rather emphatically. James smirked. “Right, then. Goodnight! Happy Christmas!”
They waited until they’d heard James shut his bedroom door. Sirius stood first, and Remus followed him, a new surge of anxiety hitting him as soon as he was on the stairs. But then Sirius held his hand out behind him. Remus took it and instantly felt better when Sirius squeezed their fingers together.
Back in their bedroom, Sirius shut the door softly, locked it, and cast a quick silencing charm. He set his wand down on the bedside table and took Remus’ face into his hands. When they kissed, it was the slow and languorous meshing that reminded Remus of Saturday mornings at Hogwarts when it was raining and dark outside. They moved together in a sort of slow dance, Sirius pushing forward and Remus pushing back. Sirius followed his lead, letting him set the tone and the pace. Remus spent an absurdly long time worrying at Sirius’ bottom lip, only stopping when Sirius let out a soft moan. He didn’t want to move things along too quickly.
“Are you relaxed?” Sirius asked, hands running up and down Remus’ back.
Remus nodded. “Yes. Any more relaxed and I’ll fall asleep.”
Sirius chuckled softly, fingers working their way beneath Remus’ jumper. “Me too. Do you...do you feel comfortable enough to try again?”
Remus pulled back so that he could look properly at Sirius. His hair was sticking up on one side where Remus had gripped it. His lips were swollen, and his eyes were overly bright. He was the most beautiful thing Remus had ever seen, and he wasn’t sure what string of events had led to them standing so close with such possibility between them.
“I can’t believe you said you’re in love with me,” said Remus, fixing Sirius’ hair.
Sirius smiled and glanced down bashfully. “I’ve wanted to say it for a long time. Are you sure it never slipped out while I was drunk or something?”
“If it had, I think I would have remembered that,” said Remus.
“Well, now it’s out there,” said Sirius. “If I was smarter I would have said it, like, three years ago.”
“What?” said Remus.
“Er, yeah,” said Sirius. “I’ve had a crush on you pretty much since day one.”
Remus could feel his face burning. “What are you talking about?”
“You know,” said Sirius. “At our first welcome feast? I’d just been sorted into Gryffindor, like the massive disappointment that I am, and Lucius Malfoy was shooting peas at me from across the room. I knew it was him, he was so fucking obvious about it, but I didn’t know what to do about it. James was glaring at him, but before he could even take out his wand, you lifted yours and a whole treacle tart flew up off the Slytherin table and landed on Malfoy’s head.”
Remus stared at him. “My God, I’d completely forgotten about that until just now.”
“Well, in your defense, many more treacle tarts have ended up on many more people’s heads since then,” said Sirius.
“So, that’s what did it for you, eh?”
“That was only the beginning,” said Sirius.
“Not the most romantic of starts.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I think it’s incredibly romantic to plop a sticky dessert onto the head of your friend’s enemy.”
“I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“Are you kidding? It’s burned onto my brain,” said Sirius. “You didn’t even say anything, aside from the spell. You just carried on eating your bloody roast chicken.”
Remus laughed. He hadn’t thought to talk about these things with Sirius. Moments like that seemed so commonplace, like simple threads in the vast tapestry of their friendship thus far. In books, when people were beginning to date and woo each other, they often talked about their pasts, but Remus’ past was so intertwined with Sirius’ already. Anything before Hogwarts had already been discussed. But perhaps there was a new layer to add to some of their memories.
“In third year,” he said. “There was a particularly bad full moon. I think I’d eaten a rabbit or something, and I was just so wretchedly ill the next day. I think James and Peter were a bit put off, which I don’t fault them for, but you stuck around.”
“Shit, I remember that,” said Sirius, smiling fondly. “You had to have two buckets -- one for being sick in, and one for being sick in while the other one was getting a thorough Scourgifying.”
Remus winced. “Yes, it was rather disgusting. But you sat with me and told me about the Christmas when you’d eaten all your sugar mice, and Regulus’ sugar mice as well, and then you were sick all over the dining room table. You said you’d been even sicker than me.”
“That was a lie,” Sirius whispered conspiratorially. “No one could ever be as sick as you were that day. I just wanted to make you feel better.”
Remus winked at him. “I sort of guessed that. Anyway, after that I, er, I felt a bit differently about you.”
“What wonderful stories we have for the grandkids,” said Sirius. “A treacle tart in someone’s hair, and a morning spent enthusiastically vomiting.”
Remus laughed and looped his arms around Sirius’ waist. “We can make up better stories.”
Sirius smiled and kissed him. Remus didn’t even have to think about it now. Sirius had made him feel so at ease that his nerves were completely gone. If he messed up again, this would just be another memory for them to laugh about later. With his hand on the back of Sirius’ neck, Remus deepened their kiss, pressing closer to him and smiling at Sirius’ sudden gasp. They moved closer to the bed, every movement more charged and fevered now. It felt like just any night at Hogwarts, in their dorm, trying to satisfy each other.
Remus summoned their supplies this time, remembering what he’d done wrong with the condom the previous night. When he ripped the package open and began to feel flustered, he glanced up at Sirius, who gave him a reassuring smile. Why hadn’t he looked at Sirius more last night? Why had he been so lost in his own head?
Knowing now how much Sirius enjoyed it, Remus took his time with spreading him and gently probing to find the spots that turned him to jelly. Soon Sirius was so keyed up that Remus knew he was ready for him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes until he felt Sirius take his hand. His eyes snapped open to find Sirius’ gaze.
“No pressure,” said Sirius, breathing heavily but smiling serenely at him.
Remus nodded and moved between Sirius’ legs to find a comfortable position. He moved slowly, watching Sirius in case he accidentally hurt him. He had to stop halfway in, overcome by the sensation, and Sirius reached out to squeeze his arm.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You...oh, fuck...you prepared me really well. I’m ready.”
Remus moved again and instantly felt like he was about to come. It was too soon; he panicked and pulled out, just relieved that he hadn’t gone limp again. He took deep breaths and locked eyes with Sirius, who nodded to him.
“It’s all right,” he said. “Try again, it’s okay.”
Remus curved over Sirius’ body and pushed in again. It was easier this time, but he knew he wouldn’t last long. It was all so overwhelming -- the feel of being inside Sirius, the look on Sirius’ face as Remus moved his hips, the sound of his panting breaths, the rapid beat of his own heart. Everything closed in on him, converging until he felt his orgasm approaching and could do nothing to stop it. His hips jerked and he cried out, apologies tumbling from his lips as soon as he could think again. Remus pulled out, his chest heaving and his eyes closed.
“Hey, you’re all right,” said Sirius, sitting up to wrap his arms around Remus.
“Fuck, it was so quick, I’m sorry,” said Remus, leaning his forehead against Sirius’ shoulder.
“You want to hear something amazing?” said Sirius. “We can do it again. We can do it again tonight if you really want to.”
“I do,” said Remus, lifting his head to kiss Sirius. “God, I really do.”
Sirius licked into his mouth, making Remus shiver, and guided one of Remus’ hands down between them. This time Remus felt boneless and blissful from his own orgasm, and he moved more deftly, kissing Sirius into submission as he pumped his cock. In what seemed like seconds, Sirius came with Remus’ name on his lips, nuzzling against his neck as the feeling faded and he turned into sleepy, post-coital Sirius.
“I love you,” he whispered, and Remus kissed his cheek.
“I love you too, and I am sorry that it ended so soon,” he said.
“Hey,” said Sirius. “Remember what I said about practice making perfect? Well, I want to practice that every fucking night, and you’re going to be amazing in no time.”
Remus chuckled. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”
With a quick wave of his wand, Remus cleaned them both up, and then he guided Sirius down onto the bed. Though Remus hadn’t noticed the previous night, he was now very appreciative of the Potters’ soft beds. Sirius snuggled in close to him, already half asleep, and Remus pulled the duvet over them both. He pressed a soft kiss to Sirius’ lips, and Sirus’ eyes lazily drifted open.
“I’m dead right now,” he said. “And that’s because you well and thoroughly fucked me, so I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
Remus blushed and shook his head. “I’ll get better, I promise.”
“We’ll get better together,” said Sirius.
Remus huddled down further under the duvet and moved into Sirius’ arms. As soon as he lay there, with the sound of Sirius’ breath evening out in his ear, Remus felt fatigue overtake him. He’d spent most of the day tense with worry, and though he knew he could do better he did feel proud of their second time. Eventually he drifted off to sleep with thoughts of stronger silencing charms for his four-poster back at Hogwarts.
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Date: 2018-12-11 07:20 pm (UTC)Poor Remus, feeling uncomfortable being in the Potter house with Sirius who can’t keep his hands to himself. I sort of want to hug him and tell him to get over it at the same time. But he’s being so sweet about it. And Sirius, who just doesn’t care, is also wonderful. And then James, “Stop sucking each other’s faces”, absolutely perfect.
I adore their banter in bed that night, though. How comfortable they are with each other, despite Remus not being entirely comfortable with the situation.
OMG, but then it goes like THAT??? That’s sort of terrible and amazing at the same time. And far more realistic than it just being perfect. Poor Remus, though!
Oh, but for that to be the way Sirius says it!!! I love the whole just blurt out like it’s the most natural thing in the world trope. That’s one of my favorites!
Remus laughed. He hadn’t thought to talk about these things with Sirius. Moments like that seemed so commonplace,
This, though! Moments like that are what make the best relationships, and the fact that they’ve noticed, in their own ways, says a lot about them, and about the stability of this relationship, and is just WONDERFUL. This was a wonderful story, it was so nice to watch them growing together, settling into each other just a little more. Lovely job.
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Date: 2018-12-12 12:18 am (UTC)The prompt called for realistic first-time sex, so I did my best to make it awkward but not totally disastrous, lol. Poor Remus, indeed. But I'm glad you liked their dynamic!
That's one of those things that I just realized as I was writing -- they already have so much history as friends, that sharing those moments and talking them through wouldn't be their first instinct when they begin feeling romantic toward each other. I'm so glad you liked that part, I think that's what paved the way for them to have an easier, slightly better second time. :P
Thanks again for the comment! And thanks for reading! <3
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Date: 2019-01-03 04:41 pm (UTC)And the sex was so delightfully teenage! Remus really does need to write that guide for non-robots/characters in romance novels.
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Date: 2019-01-03 06:59 pm (UTC)