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small_giftsTitle: Of Secrets, Couches, and Mistletoe for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_realduck
Author: Kelly,cherrybomb213
Rating: PG-13
Summary: “Remus’ real secret was not an overwhelming anxiety about the NEWTs, or some season-dependent depression. His real secret involved the sense of dread felt when sitting five feet away from someone in a dormitory and still not feeling close enough.”
Prompt Chosen: Mistletoe fluff (with a side of teenage angst).
Author’s Notes: This is my first r-s small gifts, and it was a great one! I had a lot of fun writing this. Sorry to mods for epic-fail posting, btw. Thank you so much tobrighty18 for an awesome beta job despite many technological issues and me finishing up sort of last-minute! I hope the_realduck enjoys this ^-^. Merry Christmas, everyone.
Part I
The sky around the castle was pitch-black and frigid, chilling several inches of hardened snow. And while Care of Magical Creatures required a certain level of endurance (or, at least, a few warming charms) nights like these, spent in front of a crackling fire in Gryffindor tower, were made pleasant by the wintry atmosphere.
Remus Lupin sat in his usual couch in front of the hearth, a book abandoned but still-open on his lap, admiring the silvery path the moon made across the icy lake. He typically enjoyed this season, for the atmosphere, as well as the upcoming break from school, and, most importantly, Christmas. But the latter two aspects of winter were simply not doing it for him this year. It would be the last holiday he spent in Hogwarts castle, and he dreaded spending it holed up in the library.
Remus’ real secret was not an overwhelming anxiety about the NEWTs, or some season-dependent depression. His real secret involved the sense of dread felt when sitting five feet away from someone in a dormitory and still not feeling close enough.
A flurry of movement and a groan from the couch tore Remus’ eyes away from the window. Sirius Black had sunk into the other cushion, wearing a string of enchanted red and green fairy-lights around his neck and a grin that reached both ears.
“Wotcher, Moony!” He casually flipped the book from Remus’ lap onto the floor. “Now that you’re not busy, I’d like to have a word.”
Staring with a theatrically forlorn expression at his violated arithmancy text, Remus sighed. “Ah, Padfoot, I think my holidays will be spent comforting all my textbooks from all the continued abuse.” His voice broke as Sirius snorted.
“Into the fire with the lot of them! There will be no distracting our Moony with schoolwork when the magnificence of Christmas looms near! Anyway, I was just wondering if you’d ever read up on animation charms. I want to go all out this year, and I want loads of stockings or something singing carols when we’re walking to breakfast.” There was an annual tradition of the Gryffindor seventh years decorating the tower just over a week before classes let out. With only one day to go before the night when James and Lily would—as part of their Head Boy and Girl duties—send all the younger students to bed early and all hell would break loose, Sirius had become dead-set on putting last year’s display to shame.
“Yes, I do think that could be arranged…what sort of carols did you have in mind?” Remus scratched the back of his head, unwilling to admit the disproportionate happiness he felt at being asked to do anything for Sirius.
“Of course, they must fall in the ‘slightly offensive’ category, or it wouldn’t be our Christmas. Let’s keep them just clean enough to keep us out of detention. Prongs and I wouldn’t want McGonagall to think us anything less than classy.”
Before Remus could begin listing the many things Professor McGonagall thought about the Marauders, twin squeaks announced James’ and Peter’s arrival. Each plopped down in one of the worn armchairs that flanked the couch, making a semicircle around the fireplace.
“Thought I might find you two here,” James said, wearing a ridiculous holiday sweater that featured an alternating pattern of candy canes and broomsticks.
“Yeah, well, Moony’s never found far from the legendary Couch of Moony,” Sirius added.
“Couch of What?!” Remus interjected, horrified.
“The Couch of Monotony, more like. All you ever do is read here,” Peter smirked.
“No negative energy around the couch!” Remus whined.
“Right, then. Let’s get back to business then, shall we,” Sirius said, laughing. “First order of business: Potter, that sweater is horrible.” James’ subsequent protests were ignored. “Second, Moony has agreed to perform the necessary animation charms. Third, I’m tired.” He yawned, stretched, and then laid across the entire sofa in one fluid movement.
“Prat,” James smirked, as he returned to a Christmas-related inventory list. Sirius flipped him off without opening his eyes.
Remus swallowed, his cheeks burning, his lap now occupied by Sirius’ head and torso. Unsure of where to put his hands, he settled for pretending to read casually over his transfiguration essay. He stared at the words, but Sirius’ nose dug his thigh as he turned onto his side in the most distracting way. His body felt warm in all the places where they touched. He wanted to comb his fingers through Sirius’ hair, but would have leaped off the Astronomy Tower before going through with it. They were quiet. Sirius’ mouth twitched in a slight, relaxed grin. Or maybe Remus had imagined it.
“Aw, look, the stray likes you. You should take him home,” Peter chuckled.
How am I going to make it through Christmas? Remus wondered, trying to ignore the emotional gymnastics he’d been subject to as of late. Each time Sirius grinned like that, tossed his hair out of his face, told a joke...every rational part of him knew that Sirius did not feel flushed and tense the way Remus was on a regular basis. But he still felt the same way.
At that moment, Lily Evans strolled by, easing herself onto the arm of James’ chair. Yawning, she flicked her wand, causing the cushions to expand, until they too sat on an aged crimson couch. Pausing to give James a brief kiss, she laid down, her head in his lap.
“I’m sure I’ll regret asking this, but do you lot have any ideas for Christmas decorations?”
“Well,” said Peter, “we kind of talked about it a bit, but Sirius just adjourned the meeting. Apparently Moony’s going to do something with animation charms, and Prongs has got to stop wearing that sweater.”
James threw a pillow in Peter’s general direction, settling down quickly as to avoid displacing Lily’s head. “Don’t worry, love. These pillocks will not squash the holiday spirit! I plan on wearing this sweater every day from now until Christmas.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “I can hardly believe I’m allowing myself to be seen in public with that thing. But if it makes for a better common room, I’ll allow it. What else?”
Remus sighed. “Well, nothing else has been planned yet, but Frank mentioned a spell earlier that’ll put garlands on the railings of the staircases. And I reckon Sirius can conjure up more fairy-lights.”
James sat up straight. “And of course, I’ll provide the mistletoe!”
“Dear god, no,” Peter groaned. “They’ll already have put it all over the castle, too. Must we suffer a minefield in the tower as well?”
Lily smiled. “As much as the rational part of me wants agree, there’s just something about the holidays and love…anyway, it’s just kissing. What’s there to be fussed about?”
Remus tried not to think about spending two weeks with Sirius in a common room full of mistletoe. Instead, he rationalized placing his hands on the dozing boy’s head and chest by realizing that his arms hurt from holding his essay up this long.
Peter glanced quickly between the two couches, glaring. “Easy for you to say. Everyone here has already got someone to snog!”
“Oi! If you’ve got another plan, spit it out, Wormtail. Otherwise, I’d like to get some sleep.” Sirius had cracked one eye open, but didn’t move, ignoring the possibility of simply walking up the steps to his own bed. No one mentioned the joke; cracks like this had become more common lately, and left Remus unsure if he was offended.
As Sirius shifted in his lap again, any remaining reason in Remus’ brain fled, forming an entirely new logic system currently run by an area decidedly lower portion of his body. Sirius’ skin tested every fiber of his self-restraint. Surely, he thought, surely it wouldn’t hurt to move that lock of hair out of his eyes… A quick flip-flopping feeling in his stomach propelled his hand to do it, tucking black, wavy hair that was somewhere between soft coarse, and smelled faintly of shampoo. He hoped this looked infinitely more casual and nonchalant than it felt.
Peter suddenly flopped around, doing some strange derivative of the fetal position and effectively broke Remus’ focus. Lily looked up, half-startled, half-amused.
“Uh, Wormtail, mate? You okay over there?” James snorted.
“You know, I really just wanted to know what is so damn comfortable about laps, and there were no free ones nearby…”
Finally opening his eyes, Sirius burst into laughter. “Aw, Pete, you wanker, I can assure you there is an empty lap in your future…though most of my success comes from my canine charm.” He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “It’s time for bed. ‘Night, lads, ladies, Lily…”
Lily scoffed, but was too tired to do much else but wave her hand irritably in Sirius’ direction and mutter, “toerag.”
James smirked, stroking her cheek in consolation, trying not to fully realize the thought that had surfaced several times in the last few weeks.
Part II
The grey sky peeked into the thick windows that lined the halls, cautiously intruding upon the abnormally occupied hallways. Dumbledore’s enchanted mistletoe rendered the corridors into a labyrinth, with students veering left and right to avoid any forced physical contact.
Sirius stood, currently watching a blushing Third Year girl leaning in toward an equally awkward Fourth Year whom he recognized as Ravenclaw’s Keeper. Other boys crowded around them jeering, while the girls made cat-calls, or else turned away in tears. The Quidditch player’s soft brown hair, toned muscles, and large green eyes resulted in a not-altogether-coincidentally high rate of mistletoe exposure.
“Ah, young love,” he remarked, with an aura of pseudo-nostalgia. To his right, James rolled his eyes.
It was indeed that time of year—consistently (yet inexplicably), November and December brought an onslaught of new patrons at Madame Puddifoot’s tea shop, there was a noticeable increase in the amount of Honeyduke’s chocolate rose arrangements purchased, and the glamour charms and other magical beauty enhancements at Zonko’s flew off the shelves. And soon after that came the inevitable sightings of abashed students (typically in Fourth through Sixth Years) brushing hands in the corridors; walking side by side on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest; changing seating arrangements in classes and the Great Hall.
Sirius recalled with embarrassment his own previous Decembers. Each time, he’d embarked on fleeting rollercoaster romances with equally fleeting girls. They’d have a good time ditching their school uniforms to sneak into The Three Broomsticks, spend the next week snogging, and then realize they had nothing left to talk about. He’d felt satisfied, but a little empty, knowing that he couldn’t tell a crush from a wet dream.
He thought he might know the difference now. At least, he’d never dreamed about someone for so long.
The Quidditch player and 3rd year had since parted, presumably to areas of the castle as far away from each other as possible. He felt himself being jostled along to the Great Hall for lunch, James blabbering something or other about Evans and tartan skirts. Sirius pulled himself out of his thoughts long enough to verbally smack his bespectacled friend upside the head, creating a distraction that would last at least the rest of the walk.
“-and my wand is almost two inches longer than yours! You know what they say about a wizard with a big wand…”
“Compensating for other areas, eh, Prongs? We both know your ‘wand’ has never been that-”
“Shut it! One of these days I’m going to switch your poofy conditioner with that stuff from Kettleburn’s leech things…you know, that thing they ooze out of their—”
“Um, Prongs, Padfoot? I certainly don’t want to interrupt the latest round of death threats, but I’m trying to eat.” They’d reached the Gryffindor table where Remus sat, looking equally amused and disgusted.
With a flourish, Sirius sat down, grabbing Remus’ arm with a dramatic air. “Thank Merlin you’re here, Moony! There’s this lunatic with a boggart for a face saying he’s going to mess with my hair products!”
“Well, it’s about bloody time someone stopped you from hogging the shower every morning.”
He sulked, grabbing a hunk of Shepherd’s pie, trying not to realize how warm Remus’ arm had felt.
The conversation turned to the upcoming Hogsmeade trip, which would be the last before the end of term. James fretted about having to find Lily’s gift last-minute, all while trying not to run into her—it was a pity the Map didn’t extend into the village. Remus was looking forward to a quiet day in the dormitory, as it would be only a few days before the full moon. Sirius would sneak off to surprise him with Honeyduke’s and hate every single one of the new couples able to sip tea in Madame Puddifoot’s and casually link their names with an ampersand in conversation.
Part III
James sat at his desk, absentmindedly playing with the corners of the Marauder’s Map, deciding whether or not to recite the necessary oath. But he couldn’t concentrate. It wasn’t even that he was shocked, really. Just…unsure. What was he supposed to think? Well, I guess I should be happy, he decided. These are two of my best mates. And it wasn’t that he couldn’t be happy for them. But it just seemed like such a foreign idea.
Remus and Sirius. He had seen Sirius fancy three or four birds before, each time seeking their attention through a constant stream of compliments and obnoxiousness. This strategy, combined with his good looks (James rolled his eyes) had been proven to work on the girls, each of whom, while nice, was a bit on the naïve side. James was baffled by Sirius’ apparent infatuation with Remus, who was as far from naïve as anyone in their age bracket. Gender aside, Remus had nothing in common with these giggly, spontaneous girls.
And Remus…James mused. He’d never seen Remus in love before. There was no way to know if he’d ever even been in love before. Was he now? Yet James had no other explanation for all the hesitantly extraverted way Remus had been acting lately. He went out of his way to tease Sirius, and while that wasn’t completely abnormal, it was becoming dangerously close to what James would normally consider flirting.
But this was insane! Remus, prefect, funny-yet-awkward, werewolf Remus was flirting with Sirius. Remus hadn’t even started changing outside of the bathroom until third year! Yet even as he thought it, James brushed it aside. Remus had changed. They all had. And if Remus and Sirius could fall for each other two years after the incident with Snape…well, it couldn’t just be a passing thing. As alarmed as he was by the thought of his best friends snogging, he couldn’t dismiss their feelings when he knew how he felt about Lily.
James’ real secret wasn’t just the enduring nature of a childhood crush, or even a sense of loyalty to a friend-turned-brother. His real secret was that, underneath it all, James knew that they may not have much time. There were only a few short months of guaranteed safety, and then what? He didn’t want to think about life separating them, about the war, but he couldn’t deny that there was no time to waste.
Right, then. What now? It was clear to James that Moony and Padfoot needed a bit of a shove in the right direction, if not a full-blown smack upside the head. They’d be alone together for 2 weeks, and unless they manned up a little, it would be a long amount of time to avoid talking about the monstrous amount of sexual tension hanging about them lately.
“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good,” he muttered. Sure enough, the dots labeled Sirius and Remus sat in front of the fire, likely near a large pile of books or Honeyduke’s chocolate bars.
There was no way to know if he was doing the right thing, James reflected. But they could be dead tomorrow. Lily’s right. It’s a kiss…
Part IV
Lily looked around the common room, smiling. An enormous Christmas tree stood in the far right corner, streams of fairylights and tinsel glittering moonlight. Twinkling, holly-laden garlands covered all available railings, each table bore small bowls of red and green-wrapped candies, and a quiet stream of instrumental carols played from cleverly placed poinsettias, which were scattered across the perimeter of the common room. Remus’ animation charms had been cleverly applied to several of the portraits (much to their displeasure and the Seventh Years’ delight), which would sing slightly off-color rhymes at whoever passed. They’d worked the last three hours, but there was no doubt that the younger students would by their efforts.
James grinned back at, flicking his wand to conjure a small sprig of mistletoe above them. Sighing, Lily gave him a quick kiss and leaned against his chest before addressing the seventh years.
“Fantastic work, everybody. Really, really, well done! I know we’re all knackered, so I’ll leave you to finish up that essay for Slughorn, but I’d like to thank each of you for a great job tonight.”
The Seventh Years were haphazard, sporting singe marks and glitter in their hair and robes. Somewhere along the way, Remus had fallen asleep on his sofa, worn out from the rapidly approaching full moon. Though Frank and Alice had commented on his absence, no one disturbed him, apart from Sirius, who transfigured a handkerchief into an emerald blanket that clashed tremendously with the scarlet couch.
As the students began gathering their things and heading up the boys’ and girls’ staircases, James noticed Sirius look back at the sleeping boy on the couch, an unidentifiable expression on his face. But, seeing James at the foot of the steps, he turned away, heading up to their dormitory.
“You think we should wake him?” Peter asked, as they stripped into their pajamas.
“Nah. He needs all the sleep he can get for this week, Wormtail,” James said. While this was true, he knew it was a weak excuse. Before Sirius could object, he added, “Look, I just realized I’ve left my potions book down there. I’ll see if he wakes up on his own.”
His feet lightly slapping the stone steps, James made his way quietly near the hearth. He pulled out his wand, concentrating on Remus’ sleeping silhouette.
Thank me later, mate, he thought, both nervous and excited. There’s no way you can tell me you didn’t have a chance now.
Part V
James blinked, taking in the sunlight that flooded in through the windows of the dormitory. Glancing over at his clock, he breathed a sigh of relief. 8:00AM; the common room would still be quiet. He pulled on his dressing gown and glasses before grabbing parchment and quills from his trunk. Placing them on his bedside table, he glanced around the room. Peter snored lightly, his comforter crumpled on the floor. Sirius, too, was asleep, burrowed in his potions essay.
“Padfoot?” James whispered. Sirius twitched, but didn’t wake.
“Padfoot!” James gently nudged his friend’s shoulder. There wasn’t much time before many of the younger students would want to see the decorations, and the singing charms would activate just in time for the daily breakfast rush.
“’s early…” Sirius mumbled, blocking out the sunlight with his arm. “G’ back to bed.”
“No, mate. Listen, you need to go to the common room real quick and wake up Remus. It’s important.”
Sirius made a brief noise of protest, but James grabbed his arm, yanking him out of bed. “I know it’s early. But trust me. You’ll want to do this. Just run downstairs, wake up Moony and bring him back here.”
Grumbling in the mildly chilly air, Sirius pulled on his slippers and glared at James. “You owe me.”
As the rumbled mess of black hair and red dressing gown disappeared from the doorway, James clenched his fists. If all went well, it would be Sirius who owed him.
* * *
Groggy, his head pounding, Sirius headed toward the red couch where he knew Remus was burrowed. The fire had since smoldered out, but he spotted the corner of the green blanket he’d conjured the night before.
As he rounded the corner, he saw brown hair sticking up around a pale, sleeping face. His eyes traced a prominent jagged scar that crossed Remus’ temple, ending halfway toward his nose. Though he’d never said it outright, Sirius knew that the werewolf didn’t like the attention it drew. At this angle, in this light, just for a second, it took his breath away.
Sirius’ real secret wasn’t a matter of morbid curiosity, sadism, or some intense interest in anatomy.
His real secret had to do with the way lovers can be buried under dirt and age and graffiti and still be beautiful.
Though he was still tired, Sirius suddenly felt just a little happier to be awake.
“Moony,” he whispered, unwilling to disturb the sleeping boy. But, knowing he’d already promised James, he took a deep breath and lightly shook Remus’ shoulder.
He blinked, softly. “Padf’t? What time is ‘t?”
“Just past eight. James told me to wake you for something. Dunno what. He’s thick, having me wake you with the full so soon…”
Remus sat up, stretching his arms. “No, s’alright. Lemme just get myself together, and we can see what Prongs is up to. Was this here last night?” He gestured at the emerald blanket.
“Yes and no. I transfigured it for you after you fell asleep.”
“You could’ve just woke me up, you know,” Remus said, looking guilty.
“Don’t even start acting like this was some huge sacrifice. Pretend it’s just part of the décor.”
He smiled, starting to stand up. “It is the right color. This place looks incredible by the way.”
Sirius grinned, putting a hand briefly on Remus’ shoulder, only to guide him to the dorms, only to guide him to the dorms, and for a moment, their eyes locked. It was magic.
The real secret wasn’t some poetic prose harkening the gaze of lovers to the magical blood reigned in by a twig stuffed with dragon’s heartstring.
The real secret here was that James Potter did not leave his potions book in the common room last night.
He did, however, leave mistletoe next to Remus’ favorite couch.
Pause. A beat. A chuckle. An eternity of blinks and tentative glances…
Sirius felt his own hand move, gripping Remus’ forearm without any real thought on his own part, feeling the slight whir of a quickening pulse. He felt warmth on the side of his neck, under his jaw. Then his eyes shut, and Remus’ hands guided his face until their lips nervously slid against each other. It was hardly even a kiss, as much as both of them hoping for the best. Sirius’ self-restraint, which had lain dormant since he’d first entered the common room, was spent. Moving a hand to the small of Remus’ back, he pushed their bodies close…close…closer, and there were Remus’ lips, pushing against his, and Remus’ tongue, and Merlin, they were really, really kissing now. No, they were snogging, snogging under the mistletoe and every dream he’d ever had about kissing Remus had just been put to shame.
Finally, they broke apart, breathless, the spell of the mistletoe long since broken.
Remus laid his head on Sirius’ shoulder, panting. The hand on his back was creeping up the back of his shirt, resting above his waistband. He wanted desperately to kiss Sirius again, but was still half-convinced that this was some elaborate dream or prank. But the hair tickling his nose smelled of sleep and sweat, and it was all the proof he needed to begin pulling Sirius’ pajama shirt over his head.
Though it was only December 20th, and the grey sky would soon bear a moon that might have ruined the holidays, Remus was certain that he had just been given the best Christmas gift he’d ever receive.
the_realduckAuthor: Kelly,
cherrybomb213Rating: PG-13
Summary: “Remus’ real secret was not an overwhelming anxiety about the NEWTs, or some season-dependent depression. His real secret involved the sense of dread felt when sitting five feet away from someone in a dormitory and still not feeling close enough.”
Prompt Chosen: Mistletoe fluff (with a side of teenage angst).
Author’s Notes: This is my first r-s small gifts, and it was a great one! I had a lot of fun writing this. Sorry to mods for epic-fail posting, btw. Thank you so much to
brighty18 for an awesome beta job despite many technological issues and me finishing up sort of last-minute! I hope the_realduck enjoys this ^-^. Merry Christmas, everyone.Part I
The sky around the castle was pitch-black and frigid, chilling several inches of hardened snow. And while Care of Magical Creatures required a certain level of endurance (or, at least, a few warming charms) nights like these, spent in front of a crackling fire in Gryffindor tower, were made pleasant by the wintry atmosphere.
Remus Lupin sat in his usual couch in front of the hearth, a book abandoned but still-open on his lap, admiring the silvery path the moon made across the icy lake. He typically enjoyed this season, for the atmosphere, as well as the upcoming break from school, and, most importantly, Christmas. But the latter two aspects of winter were simply not doing it for him this year. It would be the last holiday he spent in Hogwarts castle, and he dreaded spending it holed up in the library.
Remus’ real secret was not an overwhelming anxiety about the NEWTs, or some season-dependent depression. His real secret involved the sense of dread felt when sitting five feet away from someone in a dormitory and still not feeling close enough.
A flurry of movement and a groan from the couch tore Remus’ eyes away from the window. Sirius Black had sunk into the other cushion, wearing a string of enchanted red and green fairy-lights around his neck and a grin that reached both ears.
“Wotcher, Moony!” He casually flipped the book from Remus’ lap onto the floor. “Now that you’re not busy, I’d like to have a word.”
Staring with a theatrically forlorn expression at his violated arithmancy text, Remus sighed. “Ah, Padfoot, I think my holidays will be spent comforting all my textbooks from all the continued abuse.” His voice broke as Sirius snorted.
“Into the fire with the lot of them! There will be no distracting our Moony with schoolwork when the magnificence of Christmas looms near! Anyway, I was just wondering if you’d ever read up on animation charms. I want to go all out this year, and I want loads of stockings or something singing carols when we’re walking to breakfast.” There was an annual tradition of the Gryffindor seventh years decorating the tower just over a week before classes let out. With only one day to go before the night when James and Lily would—as part of their Head Boy and Girl duties—send all the younger students to bed early and all hell would break loose, Sirius had become dead-set on putting last year’s display to shame.
“Yes, I do think that could be arranged…what sort of carols did you have in mind?” Remus scratched the back of his head, unwilling to admit the disproportionate happiness he felt at being asked to do anything for Sirius.
“Of course, they must fall in the ‘slightly offensive’ category, or it wouldn’t be our Christmas. Let’s keep them just clean enough to keep us out of detention. Prongs and I wouldn’t want McGonagall to think us anything less than classy.”
Before Remus could begin listing the many things Professor McGonagall thought about the Marauders, twin squeaks announced James’ and Peter’s arrival. Each plopped down in one of the worn armchairs that flanked the couch, making a semicircle around the fireplace.
“Thought I might find you two here,” James said, wearing a ridiculous holiday sweater that featured an alternating pattern of candy canes and broomsticks.
“Yeah, well, Moony’s never found far from the legendary Couch of Moony,” Sirius added.
“Couch of What?!” Remus interjected, horrified.
“The Couch of Monotony, more like. All you ever do is read here,” Peter smirked.
“No negative energy around the couch!” Remus whined.
“Right, then. Let’s get back to business then, shall we,” Sirius said, laughing. “First order of business: Potter, that sweater is horrible.” James’ subsequent protests were ignored. “Second, Moony has agreed to perform the necessary animation charms. Third, I’m tired.” He yawned, stretched, and then laid across the entire sofa in one fluid movement.
“Prat,” James smirked, as he returned to a Christmas-related inventory list. Sirius flipped him off without opening his eyes.
Remus swallowed, his cheeks burning, his lap now occupied by Sirius’ head and torso. Unsure of where to put his hands, he settled for pretending to read casually over his transfiguration essay. He stared at the words, but Sirius’ nose dug his thigh as he turned onto his side in the most distracting way. His body felt warm in all the places where they touched. He wanted to comb his fingers through Sirius’ hair, but would have leaped off the Astronomy Tower before going through with it. They were quiet. Sirius’ mouth twitched in a slight, relaxed grin. Or maybe Remus had imagined it.
“Aw, look, the stray likes you. You should take him home,” Peter chuckled.
How am I going to make it through Christmas? Remus wondered, trying to ignore the emotional gymnastics he’d been subject to as of late. Each time Sirius grinned like that, tossed his hair out of his face, told a joke...every rational part of him knew that Sirius did not feel flushed and tense the way Remus was on a regular basis. But he still felt the same way.
At that moment, Lily Evans strolled by, easing herself onto the arm of James’ chair. Yawning, she flicked her wand, causing the cushions to expand, until they too sat on an aged crimson couch. Pausing to give James a brief kiss, she laid down, her head in his lap.
“I’m sure I’ll regret asking this, but do you lot have any ideas for Christmas decorations?”
“Well,” said Peter, “we kind of talked about it a bit, but Sirius just adjourned the meeting. Apparently Moony’s going to do something with animation charms, and Prongs has got to stop wearing that sweater.”
James threw a pillow in Peter’s general direction, settling down quickly as to avoid displacing Lily’s head. “Don’t worry, love. These pillocks will not squash the holiday spirit! I plan on wearing this sweater every day from now until Christmas.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “I can hardly believe I’m allowing myself to be seen in public with that thing. But if it makes for a better common room, I’ll allow it. What else?”
Remus sighed. “Well, nothing else has been planned yet, but Frank mentioned a spell earlier that’ll put garlands on the railings of the staircases. And I reckon Sirius can conjure up more fairy-lights.”
James sat up straight. “And of course, I’ll provide the mistletoe!”
“Dear god, no,” Peter groaned. “They’ll already have put it all over the castle, too. Must we suffer a minefield in the tower as well?”
Lily smiled. “As much as the rational part of me wants agree, there’s just something about the holidays and love…anyway, it’s just kissing. What’s there to be fussed about?”
Remus tried not to think about spending two weeks with Sirius in a common room full of mistletoe. Instead, he rationalized placing his hands on the dozing boy’s head and chest by realizing that his arms hurt from holding his essay up this long.
Peter glanced quickly between the two couches, glaring. “Easy for you to say. Everyone here has already got someone to snog!”
“Oi! If you’ve got another plan, spit it out, Wormtail. Otherwise, I’d like to get some sleep.” Sirius had cracked one eye open, but didn’t move, ignoring the possibility of simply walking up the steps to his own bed. No one mentioned the joke; cracks like this had become more common lately, and left Remus unsure if he was offended.
As Sirius shifted in his lap again, any remaining reason in Remus’ brain fled, forming an entirely new logic system currently run by an area decidedly lower portion of his body. Sirius’ skin tested every fiber of his self-restraint. Surely, he thought, surely it wouldn’t hurt to move that lock of hair out of his eyes… A quick flip-flopping feeling in his stomach propelled his hand to do it, tucking black, wavy hair that was somewhere between soft coarse, and smelled faintly of shampoo. He hoped this looked infinitely more casual and nonchalant than it felt.
Peter suddenly flopped around, doing some strange derivative of the fetal position and effectively broke Remus’ focus. Lily looked up, half-startled, half-amused.
“Uh, Wormtail, mate? You okay over there?” James snorted.
“You know, I really just wanted to know what is so damn comfortable about laps, and there were no free ones nearby…”
Finally opening his eyes, Sirius burst into laughter. “Aw, Pete, you wanker, I can assure you there is an empty lap in your future…though most of my success comes from my canine charm.” He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “It’s time for bed. ‘Night, lads, ladies, Lily…”
Lily scoffed, but was too tired to do much else but wave her hand irritably in Sirius’ direction and mutter, “toerag.”
James smirked, stroking her cheek in consolation, trying not to fully realize the thought that had surfaced several times in the last few weeks.
Part II
The grey sky peeked into the thick windows that lined the halls, cautiously intruding upon the abnormally occupied hallways. Dumbledore’s enchanted mistletoe rendered the corridors into a labyrinth, with students veering left and right to avoid any forced physical contact.
Sirius stood, currently watching a blushing Third Year girl leaning in toward an equally awkward Fourth Year whom he recognized as Ravenclaw’s Keeper. Other boys crowded around them jeering, while the girls made cat-calls, or else turned away in tears. The Quidditch player’s soft brown hair, toned muscles, and large green eyes resulted in a not-altogether-coincidentally high rate of mistletoe exposure.
“Ah, young love,” he remarked, with an aura of pseudo-nostalgia. To his right, James rolled his eyes.
It was indeed that time of year—consistently (yet inexplicably), November and December brought an onslaught of new patrons at Madame Puddifoot’s tea shop, there was a noticeable increase in the amount of Honeyduke’s chocolate rose arrangements purchased, and the glamour charms and other magical beauty enhancements at Zonko’s flew off the shelves. And soon after that came the inevitable sightings of abashed students (typically in Fourth through Sixth Years) brushing hands in the corridors; walking side by side on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest; changing seating arrangements in classes and the Great Hall.
Sirius recalled with embarrassment his own previous Decembers. Each time, he’d embarked on fleeting rollercoaster romances with equally fleeting girls. They’d have a good time ditching their school uniforms to sneak into The Three Broomsticks, spend the next week snogging, and then realize they had nothing left to talk about. He’d felt satisfied, but a little empty, knowing that he couldn’t tell a crush from a wet dream.
He thought he might know the difference now. At least, he’d never dreamed about someone for so long.
The Quidditch player and 3rd year had since parted, presumably to areas of the castle as far away from each other as possible. He felt himself being jostled along to the Great Hall for lunch, James blabbering something or other about Evans and tartan skirts. Sirius pulled himself out of his thoughts long enough to verbally smack his bespectacled friend upside the head, creating a distraction that would last at least the rest of the walk.
“-and my wand is almost two inches longer than yours! You know what they say about a wizard with a big wand…”
“Compensating for other areas, eh, Prongs? We both know your ‘wand’ has never been that-”
“Shut it! One of these days I’m going to switch your poofy conditioner with that stuff from Kettleburn’s leech things…you know, that thing they ooze out of their—”
“Um, Prongs, Padfoot? I certainly don’t want to interrupt the latest round of death threats, but I’m trying to eat.” They’d reached the Gryffindor table where Remus sat, looking equally amused and disgusted.
With a flourish, Sirius sat down, grabbing Remus’ arm with a dramatic air. “Thank Merlin you’re here, Moony! There’s this lunatic with a boggart for a face saying he’s going to mess with my hair products!”
“Well, it’s about bloody time someone stopped you from hogging the shower every morning.”
He sulked, grabbing a hunk of Shepherd’s pie, trying not to realize how warm Remus’ arm had felt.
The conversation turned to the upcoming Hogsmeade trip, which would be the last before the end of term. James fretted about having to find Lily’s gift last-minute, all while trying not to run into her—it was a pity the Map didn’t extend into the village. Remus was looking forward to a quiet day in the dormitory, as it would be only a few days before the full moon. Sirius would sneak off to surprise him with Honeyduke’s and hate every single one of the new couples able to sip tea in Madame Puddifoot’s and casually link their names with an ampersand in conversation.
Part III
James sat at his desk, absentmindedly playing with the corners of the Marauder’s Map, deciding whether or not to recite the necessary oath. But he couldn’t concentrate. It wasn’t even that he was shocked, really. Just…unsure. What was he supposed to think? Well, I guess I should be happy, he decided. These are two of my best mates. And it wasn’t that he couldn’t be happy for them. But it just seemed like such a foreign idea.
Remus and Sirius. He had seen Sirius fancy three or four birds before, each time seeking their attention through a constant stream of compliments and obnoxiousness. This strategy, combined with his good looks (James rolled his eyes) had been proven to work on the girls, each of whom, while nice, was a bit on the naïve side. James was baffled by Sirius’ apparent infatuation with Remus, who was as far from naïve as anyone in their age bracket. Gender aside, Remus had nothing in common with these giggly, spontaneous girls.
And Remus…James mused. He’d never seen Remus in love before. There was no way to know if he’d ever even been in love before. Was he now? Yet James had no other explanation for all the hesitantly extraverted way Remus had been acting lately. He went out of his way to tease Sirius, and while that wasn’t completely abnormal, it was becoming dangerously close to what James would normally consider flirting.
But this was insane! Remus, prefect, funny-yet-awkward, werewolf Remus was flirting with Sirius. Remus hadn’t even started changing outside of the bathroom until third year! Yet even as he thought it, James brushed it aside. Remus had changed. They all had. And if Remus and Sirius could fall for each other two years after the incident with Snape…well, it couldn’t just be a passing thing. As alarmed as he was by the thought of his best friends snogging, he couldn’t dismiss their feelings when he knew how he felt about Lily.
James’ real secret wasn’t just the enduring nature of a childhood crush, or even a sense of loyalty to a friend-turned-brother. His real secret was that, underneath it all, James knew that they may not have much time. There were only a few short months of guaranteed safety, and then what? He didn’t want to think about life separating them, about the war, but he couldn’t deny that there was no time to waste.
Right, then. What now? It was clear to James that Moony and Padfoot needed a bit of a shove in the right direction, if not a full-blown smack upside the head. They’d be alone together for 2 weeks, and unless they manned up a little, it would be a long amount of time to avoid talking about the monstrous amount of sexual tension hanging about them lately.
“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good,” he muttered. Sure enough, the dots labeled Sirius and Remus sat in front of the fire, likely near a large pile of books or Honeyduke’s chocolate bars.
There was no way to know if he was doing the right thing, James reflected. But they could be dead tomorrow. Lily’s right. It’s a kiss…
Part IV
Lily looked around the common room, smiling. An enormous Christmas tree stood in the far right corner, streams of fairylights and tinsel glittering moonlight. Twinkling, holly-laden garlands covered all available railings, each table bore small bowls of red and green-wrapped candies, and a quiet stream of instrumental carols played from cleverly placed poinsettias, which were scattered across the perimeter of the common room. Remus’ animation charms had been cleverly applied to several of the portraits (much to their displeasure and the Seventh Years’ delight), which would sing slightly off-color rhymes at whoever passed. They’d worked the last three hours, but there was no doubt that the younger students would by their efforts.
James grinned back at, flicking his wand to conjure a small sprig of mistletoe above them. Sighing, Lily gave him a quick kiss and leaned against his chest before addressing the seventh years.
“Fantastic work, everybody. Really, really, well done! I know we’re all knackered, so I’ll leave you to finish up that essay for Slughorn, but I’d like to thank each of you for a great job tonight.”
The Seventh Years were haphazard, sporting singe marks and glitter in their hair and robes. Somewhere along the way, Remus had fallen asleep on his sofa, worn out from the rapidly approaching full moon. Though Frank and Alice had commented on his absence, no one disturbed him, apart from Sirius, who transfigured a handkerchief into an emerald blanket that clashed tremendously with the scarlet couch.
As the students began gathering their things and heading up the boys’ and girls’ staircases, James noticed Sirius look back at the sleeping boy on the couch, an unidentifiable expression on his face. But, seeing James at the foot of the steps, he turned away, heading up to their dormitory.
“You think we should wake him?” Peter asked, as they stripped into their pajamas.
“Nah. He needs all the sleep he can get for this week, Wormtail,” James said. While this was true, he knew it was a weak excuse. Before Sirius could object, he added, “Look, I just realized I’ve left my potions book down there. I’ll see if he wakes up on his own.”
His feet lightly slapping the stone steps, James made his way quietly near the hearth. He pulled out his wand, concentrating on Remus’ sleeping silhouette.
Thank me later, mate, he thought, both nervous and excited. There’s no way you can tell me you didn’t have a chance now.
Part V
James blinked, taking in the sunlight that flooded in through the windows of the dormitory. Glancing over at his clock, he breathed a sigh of relief. 8:00AM; the common room would still be quiet. He pulled on his dressing gown and glasses before grabbing parchment and quills from his trunk. Placing them on his bedside table, he glanced around the room. Peter snored lightly, his comforter crumpled on the floor. Sirius, too, was asleep, burrowed in his potions essay.
“Padfoot?” James whispered. Sirius twitched, but didn’t wake.
“Padfoot!” James gently nudged his friend’s shoulder. There wasn’t much time before many of the younger students would want to see the decorations, and the singing charms would activate just in time for the daily breakfast rush.
“’s early…” Sirius mumbled, blocking out the sunlight with his arm. “G’ back to bed.”
“No, mate. Listen, you need to go to the common room real quick and wake up Remus. It’s important.”
Sirius made a brief noise of protest, but James grabbed his arm, yanking him out of bed. “I know it’s early. But trust me. You’ll want to do this. Just run downstairs, wake up Moony and bring him back here.”
Grumbling in the mildly chilly air, Sirius pulled on his slippers and glared at James. “You owe me.”
As the rumbled mess of black hair and red dressing gown disappeared from the doorway, James clenched his fists. If all went well, it would be Sirius who owed him.
* * *
Groggy, his head pounding, Sirius headed toward the red couch where he knew Remus was burrowed. The fire had since smoldered out, but he spotted the corner of the green blanket he’d conjured the night before.
As he rounded the corner, he saw brown hair sticking up around a pale, sleeping face. His eyes traced a prominent jagged scar that crossed Remus’ temple, ending halfway toward his nose. Though he’d never said it outright, Sirius knew that the werewolf didn’t like the attention it drew. At this angle, in this light, just for a second, it took his breath away.
Sirius’ real secret wasn’t a matter of morbid curiosity, sadism, or some intense interest in anatomy.
His real secret had to do with the way lovers can be buried under dirt and age and graffiti and still be beautiful.
Though he was still tired, Sirius suddenly felt just a little happier to be awake.
“Moony,” he whispered, unwilling to disturb the sleeping boy. But, knowing he’d already promised James, he took a deep breath and lightly shook Remus’ shoulder.
He blinked, softly. “Padf’t? What time is ‘t?”
“Just past eight. James told me to wake you for something. Dunno what. He’s thick, having me wake you with the full so soon…”
Remus sat up, stretching his arms. “No, s’alright. Lemme just get myself together, and we can see what Prongs is up to. Was this here last night?” He gestured at the emerald blanket.
“Yes and no. I transfigured it for you after you fell asleep.”
“You could’ve just woke me up, you know,” Remus said, looking guilty.
“Don’t even start acting like this was some huge sacrifice. Pretend it’s just part of the décor.”
He smiled, starting to stand up. “It is the right color. This place looks incredible by the way.”
Sirius grinned, putting a hand briefly on Remus’ shoulder, only to guide him to the dorms, only to guide him to the dorms, and for a moment, their eyes locked. It was magic.
The real secret wasn’t some poetic prose harkening the gaze of lovers to the magical blood reigned in by a twig stuffed with dragon’s heartstring.
The real secret here was that James Potter did not leave his potions book in the common room last night.
He did, however, leave mistletoe next to Remus’ favorite couch.
Pause. A beat. A chuckle. An eternity of blinks and tentative glances…
Sirius felt his own hand move, gripping Remus’ forearm without any real thought on his own part, feeling the slight whir of a quickening pulse. He felt warmth on the side of his neck, under his jaw. Then his eyes shut, and Remus’ hands guided his face until their lips nervously slid against each other. It was hardly even a kiss, as much as both of them hoping for the best. Sirius’ self-restraint, which had lain dormant since he’d first entered the common room, was spent. Moving a hand to the small of Remus’ back, he pushed their bodies close…close…closer, and there were Remus’ lips, pushing against his, and Remus’ tongue, and Merlin, they were really, really kissing now. No, they were snogging, snogging under the mistletoe and every dream he’d ever had about kissing Remus had just been put to shame.
Finally, they broke apart, breathless, the spell of the mistletoe long since broken.
Remus laid his head on Sirius’ shoulder, panting. The hand on his back was creeping up the back of his shirt, resting above his waistband. He wanted desperately to kiss Sirius again, but was still half-convinced that this was some elaborate dream or prank. But the hair tickling his nose smelled of sleep and sweat, and it was all the proof he needed to begin pulling Sirius’ pajama shirt over his head.
Though it was only December 20th, and the grey sky would soon bear a moon that might have ruined the holidays, Remus was certain that he had just been given the best Christmas gift he’d ever receive.
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Date: 2011-12-10 05:49 pm (UTC)And I loved how everyone was in character. Sirius was appropriately touchy-freely and open, Remus was appropriately darling and dry-witted, and Lily was appropriately perceptive and smart. I appreciated how Peter was a real part of things rather than some extraneous ninny. But it was James who really spoke to me here. He was genuinely boyish and adorably clueless, but I liked the fact that he loved, supported, and encouraged his friends. Hell, he was even rather observant which is a rare Jamesian quality in fanfic, but makes a lot of sense to me.
And I really loved this bit: And Remus…James mused. He’d never seen Remus in love before. There was no way to know if he’d ever even been in love before. Was he now? Yet James had no other explanation for all the hesitantly extraverted way Remus had been acting lately. He went out of his way to tease Sirius, and while that wasn’t completely abnormal, it was becoming dangerously close to what James would normally consider flirting. That was really cute!
Nicely done, my dear! AND we got to learn all about how our individual emails react with Word and GoogleDocs - though I'm not sure that THAT particular lesson was exactly enjoyable! LOL. ;)
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Date: 2011-12-13 09:45 pm (UTC)I worked really hard on planning out my characterizations, so I'm very glad you appreciated them! I made many a sketch of this story before I was happy with each of their personalities. Especially James. I thought about him a lot...yes, he's immature and silly sometimes (ESPECIALLY in his early years), but this is 7th year, and from what we can tell, he's grown up a lot and clearly cares about defeating evil and being loyal and stuff. So I tried to incorporate that. I'm really happy you noticed and like it <3
Sorry for letting this sit so long. I got some kind of virus only a couple of days after I had finals, which put me out of commission there for a few days... :) This is a nice way to recover, though!
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Date: 2011-12-10 08:28 pm (UTC)And Remus flirting! And the mistletoe! And the snogging! Okay, I'm rambling. I think I may have a rather unhealthy obsession with our Remus, and you wrote him so well. Thank you so much darling! It was perfect :) <3
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Date: 2011-12-13 09:48 pm (UTC)My goal was something appropriately fluffy, and to have all the loose ends tied up. There's nothing like a fic that really ends properly, so I made that a priority.
And maybe I have some experience with awkward first kisses. Or maybe I just have a really awesome imagination...
<3 So happy you liked it!!! And I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner...I got some kind of virus like 2 days after my finals, so I was kind of sleeping most of the time, lol. It's kind of nice to wake up to all these awesome comments, though!
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Date: 2011-12-10 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-13 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 11:52 pm (UTC)I love James's jumper. I reckon him and Sirius love to wear ridiculous Christmas jumpers.
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Date: 2011-12-13 09:54 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed this!!! :3 It was so much fun to write, and I love it when people notice those details that secretly I thought very hard about because I totally notice all those ridiculous details in slash and Shakespeare and stuff. Sorry for the delay in response. I unfortunately got some sort of virus shortly after finishing finals. :/ Luckily, delightful comments are pretty much the best medicine.
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Date: 2011-12-13 10:00 pm (UTC)I know exactly exactly what you mean about secret details. I am constantly blown away by the details people see in my art that I thought, for sure this time, no one would see/notice. Like a strip of skin showing, or a button! It's always nice to know the effort was worth it. I'm glad I could aid in your recovery. It's a not-so-good-time for me in other ways, so your fic helped a little too, so it's a win-win!! \o/
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Date: 2011-12-11 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 01:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-12 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-12 04:44 am (UTC)This was sweet. I loved the delicate hints to future events (via James's worries about post-high school life) and the general atmosphere of Hogwarts at Christmas.
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Date: 2011-12-14 01:24 am (UTC)Aww thank you so much! :) I put a lot of thought about the characters before, during, and after this story, so I'm glad that it came through. And what could be more wonderful than a glittery magical castle full of mistletoe and singing portraits? Damn, I wish I was at Hogwarts this Christmas!
Thanks for reading and commenting!!!! ^-^
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Date: 2011-12-12 12:09 pm (UTC)James is brilliant as slightly hesitant but ultimately just wanting everyone to be happy especially with the foreshadowing with the war.
Christmas Sweaters!!!!! Love the appearance so some slightly Weasleyish clothing :D
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Date: 2011-12-14 01:28 am (UTC)And yes. I've had several friend-couples who've gotten together during past years (mostly in high schol), and I totally remember the tension, and how we'd all kind of joke about it but not really, but we ALL KNEW what was going to happen...I'm sure everyone has had it happen at some point. I tried to capture that. It's kind of a giddy thing, right before.
And James was SO MUCH FUN to write. He's kind of deep, but also kind of obvious while still being sneaky. I was almost giggling while I wrote him, because he's so fun.
CHRISTMAS SWEATERS FTW. YOUR LOGIC IS IRRELEVANT.
Heheheh. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! <3
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Date: 2011-12-12 06:20 pm (UTC)I love plotter!James. It's a welcome change from utterly daft!James we see a lot of the time, and it makes sense since he was, after all, a Marauder. I must admit, this has to be one of his better plots. Not too obvious, not too forceful, just the right amount of push the boys needed to finally get together.
A lovely, warming, Christmas read ^.^
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Date: 2011-12-14 01:31 am (UTC)He probably was pretty daft at the beginning. Um, he was like 11, so that kind of makes sense. But everyone grows up, especially with tragedies like the war going on. So he's growing up, and then the prank with Sirius happens, and to me, that's where he takes a figurative stand on the man he's going to be, and starts really pulling himself together, and suddenly he has Lily, and things make sense to him...it all kind of comes together. So he's still silly, but he's got some perspective, and a sense of responsibility/loyalty, etc. I kind of love it.
So glad you liked it! I tried to really make sure it really ended, no loose ends, because to me, that's the most satisfying fic to read, and I wanted everyone to be all AWWWWWW. <3 thanks so much for reading and commenting!
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Date: 2011-12-13 03:56 am (UTC)And Sirius on Remus's lap, hee, I loved that scene. Peter complaining about a scarcity in laps to lie on, James realising something about Remus and Sirius... so cute!
And this line, His real secret had to do with the way lovers can be buried under dirt and age and graffiti and still be beautiful. That's beautiful. I always love reading fics where Remus wonders what Sirius can see in him, that sort. And this is a perfect answer. <3
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Date: 2011-12-14 01:35 am (UTC):) Remus laps are the ultimate in winter comfort. Actually, Remus laps are all-season, all-weather terrain of awesome.
I always imagined Remus having some insecurities about his appearance. I mean, he's not FIXATED on it, like all the time OMG WHERE'S A MIRROR, but kind of just wishing he could compete with other guys...but we all know he can. Silly boy. :P
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad you liked it <3
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Date: 2011-12-13 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 01:36 am (UTC)Thanks for reading and commenting! <3
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Date: 2011-12-19 05:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-16 05:11 am (UTC)