Wow! This was incredibly powerful to me. I love post-Azkaban era, but this is utterly perfect.
The pacing is outstanding and pretty much sums-up the entire era. I love the way they converse about such utterly important topics whilst cuddling with each other and Sirius entertains such very dark thoughts.
And your Sirius is so perfect, broken but still essentially sane and incredibly strong. Sirius remembers what he told Harry when Umbridge first appeared at the school, about life being shades of grey rather than black and white. At times, these past few months, he’s lost himself in his own shades of grey, between the drink and the memories that assault him in the shadowy corners of the house. His mind can no longer be trusted: he will be remembering Harry’s infectious baby-giggle, or James and Lily curled around one another on the sofa in his flat, until without warning the memories are shredded by chilly despair. It’s safer, surely, to block his mind with firewhisky, where the memories and the Dementors can’t reach him. You just want to snuggle him and yet pity is not the stand-out feeling. He is still so giving and loving.
Sirius moves within Remus’s arms. If this is something he can do, he will do it well, the way he’s always done everything, thank you very much. And when Remus moans, a part of Sirius that the Dementors did not touch exults, because this, here, this human touch and human want and human love, is what they can never grasp however hard they try. It slides through them like mist. That seems entirely "right" to me, for it is exactly the sort-of thing he would do. One of the first thing he does in canon is send Harry a present and, eventually, offer him a home. He very much needs to be loved and useful and you portray that well.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-12-31 02:02 am (UTC)The pacing is outstanding and pretty much sums-up the entire era. I love the way they converse about such utterly important topics whilst cuddling with each other and Sirius entertains such very dark thoughts.
And your Sirius is so perfect, broken but still essentially sane and incredibly strong. Sirius remembers what he told Harry when Umbridge first appeared at the school, about life being shades of grey rather than black and white. At times, these past few months, he’s lost himself in his own shades of grey, between the drink and the memories that assault him in the shadowy corners of the house. His mind can no longer be trusted: he will be remembering Harry’s infectious baby-giggle, or James and Lily curled around one another on the sofa in his flat, until without warning the memories are shredded by chilly despair. It’s safer, surely, to block his mind with firewhisky, where the memories and the Dementors can’t reach him. You just want to snuggle him and yet pity is not the stand-out feeling. He is still so giving and loving.
Sirius moves within Remus’s arms. If this is something he can do, he will do it well, the way he’s always done everything, thank you very much. And when Remus moans, a part of Sirius that the Dementors did not touch exults, because this, here, this human touch and human want and human love, is what they can never grasp however hard they try. It slides through them like mist. That seems entirely "right" to me, for it is exactly the sort-of thing he would do. One of the first thing he does in canon is send Harry a present and, eventually, offer him a home. He very much needs to be loved and useful and you portray that well.
This was really lovely.