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small_gifts2009-11-29 07:37 pm
zeldadestry.livejournal.com) wrote in small_gifts2009-11-29 07:37 pm
Fic: "Looking West" for maraudersaffair
Title: Looking West
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zeldadestry
Recipient:maraudersaffair
Rating: pg
Prompt: 1. The Book Catcher in the Rye as inspiration.
Highlight for Warnings: *None *
Word Count: 1235
Summary: Running away means running to Remus.
Author's notes: Thanks for the lovely prompt, hope the fic is enjoyed!
Highlight for the book/fic links:* Holden tries to comfort Jane with kisses (but never reaches her mouth!) in Chapter 12. Holden fantasizes about going "out West" in Chapter 25. "lousy with bastards" is a tip of the hat to two of Holden's oft-used words.*
Looking West
It’s been about a year and a half since Sirius last visited Remus at home. For a week in July they’d slept outside at night, under the stars, and sometimes Sirius couldn’t resist turning into Padfoot and howling at the moon before curling up at the foot of Remus’s sleeping bag.
Sirius’s satchel is slung over the chair at Remus’s desk and right now it contains all his worldly possessions. The Potters are away until the end of the year, but he supposes he’ll be spending a lot more time there from here on out. Remus’s parents don’t really like having visitors because everything has to be reported to, and approved by, officials from the Ministry. It’s easier to live like hermits and, barring unexpected begging strays, they do.
He lies down on Remus’s bed, reaches his hand out for the nearest book on the nightstand. It’s “The Little Prince”, a Muggle book Remus always cites as a childhood favorite, and he flips through it slowly, appreciating the simple lines of the drawings and the translucent wash of the watercolors. Remus has marked, in dark blue ink, under the words: “It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.” Sirius reads the sentence out loud, slowly, his finger tracing the path of Remus’s pen.
Remus. He’s made a fool of himself for Remus’s sake, but he doesn’t care, he’s always making a fool of himself. Just before the holidays, he found Remus alone in their room at school, curled up on his bed. His back was to the door, but Sirius could see his face reflected in the mirror hanging on the front of their wardrobe. “What is it?” Sirius asked, closing the door behind him. “What’s wrong?”
Remus wiped a tear away with the side of his thumb, but his voice was steady when he finally spoke. “It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.” Of course it mattered, anything that made Remus so unhappy mattered and Sirius hurried over to him. Remus rose to sitting at his approach, and Sirius sat down beside him on the bed, pulled Remus into his arms and kissed him. Sirius kissed his temples and the tip of his nose, kissed his smooth cheeks and the stubble of his jaw, kissed the top of his head and the side of his neck, kissed Remus everywhere he was permitted, for when he tried to bring his lips to Remus’s own, Remus pulled away.
“Sirius?” Remus calls from the hall. Sirius bounds across the room and wraps Remus up in a hug as soon as he opens the door to his bedroom. “What are you doing here?” Remus asks, patting Sirius a few times on the shoulder before slipping out of his demanding grasp.
“Don’t you mean it’s good to see me? You better be happy to see me.”
Remus smiles. His cheeks are flushed, if only from the cold outside. “Of course I am.”
“I left home.”
“Obviously.”
“No, I mean - for good.”
The smile vanishes. “Are you alright?”
“Now I am.”
Remus unwinds his scarf, slides off his hat, and pulls off his gloves, then carefully returns them to the top drawer of his dresser. “James still in Ireland?”
“Damn it, Moony.”
“Is he?”
“You know he is, but that’s not why I’m here.”
“No?”
If that’s a dare, he’ll take it. “I’m here because - because- look, this is exactly where I want to be.”
“Really.”
Sirius reaches out his hand to hold Remus’s wrist. “Really.” He doesn’t say anything else, just strokes his thumb across the tender inside of Remus’s forearm.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Remus finally says.
After the Lupins come upstairs to bed, Sirius and Remus sneak downstairs. Sirius brings out a bottle of firewhiskey from his bag and they sit at the kitchen table to share it. “Do you know what I’m going to do?” Sirius says, once he starts to feel a little dizzy, starts to feel like he can conquer anything.
“Stay here or at the Potters until we go back to school?”
“No. See, that’s exactly what I’m not going to do. I’ve got this plan, it’s perfect, I can’t believe I never thought of it before. Are you ready?”
“Just spit it out.”
“California. I’m going to California.”
“The States?”
“Yeah. California, where no one knows me, where I can start a completely different life. I bet no one there’s ever even heard of my rotten family. And, just in case someone has, I’ll use a fake name.”
“What?”
“Stubby Boardman.”
“You’re insane.”
“I’m not.”
“How will you make money?”
“That’s the brilliant part. Remember I said I’d been working on a flying motorbike? That kind of magic’s allowed by the Ministry in the States. I could be a mechanic.”
“Stubby Boardman’s Flying Motorbikes.”
“Stubby Boardman’s World Famous Flying Motorbikes, thank you very much.”
“You’re not serious, Sirius.”
“I am, Moony. I am serious Sirius, in thought, word, and deed.”
“Don’t you want to finish school?”
“No. I’m sick of it. Hogwarts is lousy with bastards, including my own brother, have you noticed?”
Remus finishes off his glass and Sirius pours more for him. “Thanks. You know, I always wanted to learn how to surf.”
“So come with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? I’ve got some money saved, just until we get the bike shop started.”
“Think, Sirius. Other than attending Hogwarts, I’m not allowed to go beyond a fifteen mile radius of my own home without informing the Ministry.”
Sirius slumps against the back of his chair. Idiot. He’s a complete idiot, flaunting his freedom in front of his friend. “Some day the laws will change.”
Remus raises his glass. “I’ll see you in California then.” He drains his liquor, then stands and walks over to the sink.
Sirius follows, stands beside him and puts his own glass down. Remus turns on the water and grabs a dish sponge. “What should I do, Moony?”
“You know, James would miss you awfully if you left.”
“Only James?”
The corner of Remus’s mouth lifts. “I’d miss Padfoot, maybe. You? Not so much.”
“Liar.” They’re so close together that Sirius only has to shift his weight a little to the right to feel the heat of Remus’s body down the side of his own. “I won’t go, not today.”
“And tomorrow?” Remus rinses the soap from the glasses.
“I’ll stay through tomorrow, at least.”
“And the day after that?”
“I’ll stay for as long as you like. What do you say to that?”
Remus finishes drying the glasses. “I think that’s best.” He leans into Sirius for a moment, and then moves away to put the glasses in the cupboard.
Sirius stays right behind him so that, when Remus turns around again, they’re facing each other. “You’re always so reasonable, Moony.”
“You never are. Someone has to be.”
“Why?”
“Because actions have consequences.”
“What if they didn’t?” Sirius says, bringing a hand to rest softly, lightly, against the hollow of Remus’s lower back, an invitation gracing the curve of his spine. “What if we woke up every morning with a blank slate, and everything that happened in the night was just like a dream?”
Remus grabs the front of Sirius’s shirt with both hands and yanks him forward. “Then I would take everything I want,” he says, and presses his open mouth to Sirius’s parted lips.
Author:
zeldadestryRecipient:
maraudersaffairRating: pg
Prompt: 1. The Book Catcher in the Rye as inspiration.
Highlight for Warnings: *None *
Word Count: 1235
Summary: Running away means running to Remus.
Author's notes: Thanks for the lovely prompt, hope the fic is enjoyed!
Highlight for the book/fic links:* Holden tries to comfort Jane with kisses (but never reaches her mouth!) in Chapter 12. Holden fantasizes about going "out West" in Chapter 25. "lousy with bastards" is a tip of the hat to two of Holden's oft-used words.*
Looking West
It’s been about a year and a half since Sirius last visited Remus at home. For a week in July they’d slept outside at night, under the stars, and sometimes Sirius couldn’t resist turning into Padfoot and howling at the moon before curling up at the foot of Remus’s sleeping bag.
Sirius’s satchel is slung over the chair at Remus’s desk and right now it contains all his worldly possessions. The Potters are away until the end of the year, but he supposes he’ll be spending a lot more time there from here on out. Remus’s parents don’t really like having visitors because everything has to be reported to, and approved by, officials from the Ministry. It’s easier to live like hermits and, barring unexpected begging strays, they do.
He lies down on Remus’s bed, reaches his hand out for the nearest book on the nightstand. It’s “The Little Prince”, a Muggle book Remus always cites as a childhood favorite, and he flips through it slowly, appreciating the simple lines of the drawings and the translucent wash of the watercolors. Remus has marked, in dark blue ink, under the words: “It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.” Sirius reads the sentence out loud, slowly, his finger tracing the path of Remus’s pen.
Remus. He’s made a fool of himself for Remus’s sake, but he doesn’t care, he’s always making a fool of himself. Just before the holidays, he found Remus alone in their room at school, curled up on his bed. His back was to the door, but Sirius could see his face reflected in the mirror hanging on the front of their wardrobe. “What is it?” Sirius asked, closing the door behind him. “What’s wrong?”
Remus wiped a tear away with the side of his thumb, but his voice was steady when he finally spoke. “It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.” Of course it mattered, anything that made Remus so unhappy mattered and Sirius hurried over to him. Remus rose to sitting at his approach, and Sirius sat down beside him on the bed, pulled Remus into his arms and kissed him. Sirius kissed his temples and the tip of his nose, kissed his smooth cheeks and the stubble of his jaw, kissed the top of his head and the side of his neck, kissed Remus everywhere he was permitted, for when he tried to bring his lips to Remus’s own, Remus pulled away.
“Sirius?” Remus calls from the hall. Sirius bounds across the room and wraps Remus up in a hug as soon as he opens the door to his bedroom. “What are you doing here?” Remus asks, patting Sirius a few times on the shoulder before slipping out of his demanding grasp.
“Don’t you mean it’s good to see me? You better be happy to see me.”
Remus smiles. His cheeks are flushed, if only from the cold outside. “Of course I am.”
“I left home.”
“Obviously.”
“No, I mean - for good.”
The smile vanishes. “Are you alright?”
“Now I am.”
Remus unwinds his scarf, slides off his hat, and pulls off his gloves, then carefully returns them to the top drawer of his dresser. “James still in Ireland?”
“Damn it, Moony.”
“Is he?”
“You know he is, but that’s not why I’m here.”
“No?”
If that’s a dare, he’ll take it. “I’m here because - because- look, this is exactly where I want to be.”
“Really.”
Sirius reaches out his hand to hold Remus’s wrist. “Really.” He doesn’t say anything else, just strokes his thumb across the tender inside of Remus’s forearm.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Remus finally says.
After the Lupins come upstairs to bed, Sirius and Remus sneak downstairs. Sirius brings out a bottle of firewhiskey from his bag and they sit at the kitchen table to share it. “Do you know what I’m going to do?” Sirius says, once he starts to feel a little dizzy, starts to feel like he can conquer anything.
“Stay here or at the Potters until we go back to school?”
“No. See, that’s exactly what I’m not going to do. I’ve got this plan, it’s perfect, I can’t believe I never thought of it before. Are you ready?”
“Just spit it out.”
“California. I’m going to California.”
“The States?”
“Yeah. California, where no one knows me, where I can start a completely different life. I bet no one there’s ever even heard of my rotten family. And, just in case someone has, I’ll use a fake name.”
“What?”
“Stubby Boardman.”
“You’re insane.”
“I’m not.”
“How will you make money?”
“That’s the brilliant part. Remember I said I’d been working on a flying motorbike? That kind of magic’s allowed by the Ministry in the States. I could be a mechanic.”
“Stubby Boardman’s Flying Motorbikes.”
“Stubby Boardman’s World Famous Flying Motorbikes, thank you very much.”
“You’re not serious, Sirius.”
“I am, Moony. I am serious Sirius, in thought, word, and deed.”
“Don’t you want to finish school?”
“No. I’m sick of it. Hogwarts is lousy with bastards, including my own brother, have you noticed?”
Remus finishes off his glass and Sirius pours more for him. “Thanks. You know, I always wanted to learn how to surf.”
“So come with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? I’ve got some money saved, just until we get the bike shop started.”
“Think, Sirius. Other than attending Hogwarts, I’m not allowed to go beyond a fifteen mile radius of my own home without informing the Ministry.”
Sirius slumps against the back of his chair. Idiot. He’s a complete idiot, flaunting his freedom in front of his friend. “Some day the laws will change.”
Remus raises his glass. “I’ll see you in California then.” He drains his liquor, then stands and walks over to the sink.
Sirius follows, stands beside him and puts his own glass down. Remus turns on the water and grabs a dish sponge. “What should I do, Moony?”
“You know, James would miss you awfully if you left.”
“Only James?”
The corner of Remus’s mouth lifts. “I’d miss Padfoot, maybe. You? Not so much.”
“Liar.” They’re so close together that Sirius only has to shift his weight a little to the right to feel the heat of Remus’s body down the side of his own. “I won’t go, not today.”
“And tomorrow?” Remus rinses the soap from the glasses.
“I’ll stay through tomorrow, at least.”
“And the day after that?”
“I’ll stay for as long as you like. What do you say to that?”
Remus finishes drying the glasses. “I think that’s best.” He leans into Sirius for a moment, and then moves away to put the glasses in the cupboard.
Sirius stays right behind him so that, when Remus turns around again, they’re facing each other. “You’re always so reasonable, Moony.”
“You never are. Someone has to be.”
“Why?”
“Because actions have consequences.”
“What if they didn’t?” Sirius says, bringing a hand to rest softly, lightly, against the hollow of Remus’s lower back, an invitation gracing the curve of his spine. “What if we woke up every morning with a blank slate, and everything that happened in the night was just like a dream?”
Remus grabs the front of Sirius’s shirt with both hands and yanks him forward. “Then I would take everything I want,” he says, and presses his open mouth to Sirius’s parted lips.
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But above all I love how Sirius comes up with these insane ideas that Remus manages to persuade him out of, and how hopeful and loving the ending was.
Very much enjoyed this look into their teenager lives, well done! ♥
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Hooray!! I adore it, too.
I’m happy you enjoyed the fic, thanks muchly for letting me know. :)
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Also, like Holden, on some level he seems to recognize the ephemeral quality of his dreams. He imagines a life in California, he plans for it, yet, deep down, that is not what he is seeking at all and he knows it. You crafted that very well. BTW, I had this vision of Sirius doing the magical version of American Chopper. LOL.
There was also a lovely Holden connection in Sirius' desire to comfort Remus (to be that catcher in the rye.) He is not fundamentally selfish, and that flashback scene was beautiful and very, very telling. Obviously the alienation he feels within his family is very mitigated (or even negated) by the presence of Remus, one who he could help as well as love. Sirius needs that.
And the ending?
“What if they didn’t?” Sirius says, bringing a hand to rest softly, lightly, against the hollow of Remus’s lower back, an invitation gracing the curve of his spine. “What if we woke up every morning with a blank slate, and everything that happened in the night was just like a dream?”
Remus grabs the front of Sirius’s shirt with both hands and yanks him forward. “Then I would take everything I want,” he says, and presses his open mouth to Sirius’s parted lips.
Beautiful!
Sorry for the long, rambling comment.
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Not at all! I very much appreciate hearing your thoughts, thank you, and I’m delighted you enjoyed the fic. : )
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The final paragraph killed me. Guh.
♥
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This is letter and word perfect! And unique, just when it seems like everything about these two has been said. OMG! The discussion about Sirius leaving for California, stunning!
“I won’t go, not today.”
“And tomorrow?” Remus rinses the soap from the glasses.
“I’ll stay through tomorrow, at least.”
“And the day after that?”
“I’ll stay for as long as you like. What do you say to that?”
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“How will you make money?”
“That’s the brilliant part. Remember I said I’d been working on a flying motorbike? That kind of magic’s allowed by the Ministry in the States. I could be a mechanic.”
“Stubby Boardman’s Flying Motorbikes.”
“Stubby Boardman’s World Famous Flying Motorbikes, thank you very much.”
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That's awesome! Thank you. :)
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“What if we woke up every morning with a blank slate, and everything that happened in the night was just like a dream?” captures everything I love about Sirius, and Remus here is his perfect foil. Amazing story. :D
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Oh, I love it, too. *Happy sigh.*
It's great to know you enjoyed the fic, thank you!
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I loved all of this, especially the ending, of course. ♥ And kudos for using Catcher as inspiration.
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AW! Thank you!
And kudos for using Catcher as inspiration.
When I saw maraudersaffair’s awesome prompt I had to grab it!
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♥
I love Catcher in the Rye, and I love this. You've captured the spirit and mood of the original while keeping them very much Remus and Sirius. The ending is gorgeous.
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Me, too! :)
I’m so glad you enjoyed the fic, thank you for letting me know.
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um, YES PLEASE.
“What if we woke up every morning with a blank slate, and everything that happened in the night was just like a dream?”
Remus grabs the front of Sirius’s shirt with both hands and yanks him forward. “Then I would take everything I want,” he says, and presses his open mouth to Sirius’s parted lips.
And THIS. What an ending! I am floored.
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AW, thank you! *Reaches out a hand to help you up.*
Glad you enjoyed it. :)
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I DON'T WANT IT TO END. *saad face*
This fic was perfect. I loved the interactions between Remus and Sirius. It really spoke of the relationship between Holden and Jane. If I had to guess, I would think that James would be Febe in this.
You should totally continue this. JUST SAYING.
Thank you so much!
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Thank you so much!
You are so welcome! Thank you for the inspiration.
Happy holidays and best wishes for a fantastic 2010!
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I love the whole conversation they have, but especially this bit:
“I won’t go, not today.”
“And tomorrow?” Remus rinses the soap from the glasses.
“I’ll stay through tomorrow, at least.”
“And the day after that?”
“I’ll stay for as long as you like. What do you say to that?”
Remus finishes drying the glasses. “I think that’s best.”
And this line right here sums up Sirius for me:
“What if we woke up every morning with a blank slate, and everything that happened in the night was just like a dream?”
It's just perfect ♥
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And YAY! Sirius making a toast icon. ***loves***
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