I have actually begun what promises to be a very short Remus piece, inspired in part by the tone of this fic. I don't know if I'll finish it, but I'd like to.
As for your sentences, they're not overly long - length is not why they're dreamy. It's the way they're unhurried. A long sentence with lots of clauses usually speaks of a lot of things, but yours linger on one thing, examining it from all angles. Cubism in syntax? Maybe! I don't think there were too many complex sentences. A lot of complex sentences is fine, so long as that's not all there is and the reader has time to draw mental breath. You interspersed them with shorter, more concise, ones very well. (My compliments to ishonn if that was her doing.)
With regards to temperature, I believe that comparison came from personal experience. I live in a cold climate, and it is currently winter. This fic felt like a walk home through slush, in the wind, and finally taking my boots off. By sharpness I meant that the details cut through the thought-fog Remus was immersed in like a knife would cut through soft butter: leaving a line, briefly, which closes fairly quickly but is still discernable some time later.
You know, I’ve kept quoting what you said a long time ago about fics showing hope in hopeless sort of times. Now it’s been rephrased: stories showing what is all right in rotten sort of times. Thank you again!
And now that makes ME happy, to have said something memorable enough to be quoteable. Thank YOU!
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As for your sentences, they're not overly long - length is not why they're dreamy. It's the way they're unhurried. A long sentence with lots of clauses usually speaks of a lot of things, but yours linger on one thing, examining it from all angles. Cubism in syntax? Maybe! I don't think there were too many complex sentences. A lot of complex sentences is fine, so long as that's not all there is and the reader has time to draw mental breath. You interspersed them with shorter, more concise, ones very well. (My compliments to
With regards to temperature, I believe that comparison came from personal experience. I live in a cold climate, and it is currently winter. This fic felt like a walk home through slush, in the wind, and finally taking my boots off. By sharpness I meant that the details cut through the thought-fog Remus was immersed in like a knife would cut through soft butter: leaving a line, briefly, which closes fairly quickly but is still discernable some time later.
You know, I’ve kept quoting what you said a long time ago about fics showing hope in hopeless sort of times. Now it’s been rephrased: stories showing what is all right in rotten sort of times. Thank you again!
And now that makes ME happy, to have said something memorable enough to be quoteable. Thank YOU!