small_gifts | Countdown to Small Gifts 1/3: Introductions

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Countdown to Small Gifts 1/3: Introductions

Welcome, folks! Every year at small gifts, we start off the holiday season with a series of discussion posts. It's a chance to get to know other participants (or say hi to old friends), meet our readers (hi, readers! we love you!), and while away the hours before the fest begins. We'll have three topics this week, posted Monday, November 25; Wednesday, November 27; and Friday, November 29. Posting begins Sunday, December 1.

Discussion is not limited to participants! Please introduce yourself if you're a reader, too.

Today: introductions.

1) Leave a comment letting us know who you are as a fan. (Leave your Tumblr name/AO3 name as well as your DW name, if they're different.) How long have been in HP fandom? How long have you shipped R/S? Are you a reader? Writer? Artist? Crafter? Do you participate in any other parts of HP fandom? Are you active in any other fandoms right now?

2) Say hi to someone else! We're friendly around here like that.

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Hi! I’ve never participated directly in the fest before (though I’ve been a beta a couple times for a friend who did) but this year I was feeling nostalgic, Small Gifts popped into my head, and I was *delighted* to come here and see that it’s still going strong! I was too late to sign up, but I’m hoping to treat and/or pinch hit.

I’m starfishstar everywhere (AO3, DW/LJ, though not Tumblr). I discovered fanfic (and the very concept of online fandom) pretty late – sometime in 2010 (like, literally I’m not sure I knew fanfic was a thing that existed before then!) and wrote my first fic around early 2011. I think Remus/Sirius may have been the first pairing I ever read, and it was definitely the bulk of what I read those first years, but somehow I didn’t end up writing R/S myself until a few years later.

I’m a multi-shipper & have spent years of my life writing Remus/Tonks, but Remus/Sirius is one I always come back to, too. If pushed, I might say it’s my OTP? I was thinking recently that if I had to be stuck on a desert island and could only write one pairing for the rest of my life (if somehow that were a thing?), I would probably choose Remus/Sirius. I never get tired of their endless possibilities.

I’ve written Harry Potter fic steadily through the years (lots of different pairings, and lots of genfic) but also dabble in a bunch of other fandoms. (At the moment: Call Me By Your Name, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, maybe The Raven Cycle, occasionally Torchwood, and all the delightful obscure “More Holmes” versions of Sherlock Holmes fandom.) HP is my One True Fandom, though. ;-)

Really delighted to find this R/S fandom still going! :)

Aha! There's nothing that endears you more to a mod than the suggestion you might be up for a pinch hit. Hurrah! I'll mention to Min you might be interested.

How had you discovered fanfic? I'd run across by accident a few years earlier--I'd had no idea fandom existed, much less this whole thing. Talk about a lucky coincidence.

I was thinking recently that if I had to be stuck on a desert island and could only write one pairing for the rest of my life (if somehow that were a thing?)

That's such an interesting question! Different pairings and different fandoms really address different themes and different part of you, don't they? M.

I see those words ‘pinch hit...” :)

Oh, whoops! I'd actually signed up as a potential pinch hitter already (wrote to the mod account & talked to Min – didn't realize that channel didn't necessarily reach both of you). So yes, already wrote one treat and tentatively offered pinch hitting as well. :D

Believe it or not: I found fanfic because a friend sent me an *academic article* about it. And I thought, that sounds interesting, I should look it up. And so I started seeking out Harry Potter fanfic, including a lot of excellent R/S fic (much of it from fests that had already closed their doors before I even found them... which is the story of my life in fandom, basically – I'm forever discovering a new fandom when it's already on the wane!)

Hello, starfishstar! I’m glad we’re finally meeting. You discovered fanfic and arrived in the HP – and R/S – fandom just when I first left it.

I love that quirky version of the desert island concept. And I wish I could get to that island and just write the stories in my R/S universe, to which I’ve been happy to return after the break of eight years.

Hi! I know, I've had such a strange fandom trajectory, always finding fests or even entire fandoms once most folks have moved on from them. I am a very late adopter of most things. :-) I do feel like there were glory days of fandom I missed out on (because I hadn't heard about it yet! I was literally a Harry Potter fan who didn't know about online fandom). But then again there are always new things starting, or restarting, and I'm often surprised to see just how much HP fandom is still booming. It's a good place to be!

I think I can understand the feeling of being a late adopter. I’ve often thought that I’m slow in my life in this way. I may have found the fandom as early as in 2003 (because after reading OotP, I felt a need to discuss it and googled Harry Potter and found a forum, then its fanfic section), but I was already well over any legal age (and picked the McG for my name from Minerva, whom Hermione described as “not exactly young”). That’s why I was ready (as you say in another comment, you started later) to identify with Remus.

And even though I don’t know The Raven Cycle at all, I’ve read with interest also what you say about that reading experience. It resembles somehow what I’ve felt about HP. Books six and seven were somehow letdown for me. It’s partly my fault, not Rowling’s: after developing my books-one-to-five compliant story, I was too fond of it. But I also felt that Rowling didn’t live up to the promise of dealing with such themes of bigotry and, instead, dehumanised enemies and left interesting minor characters undeveloped – for us to develop, which is a good thing.

Thank you for the hopeful end in this comment of yours. It makes me feel that I won’t need to ever leave this good place again.

Edited 2019-11-28 20:32 (UTC)

Oh, your username is from McGonagall! I love that!

Being let down by the later books in a series: in that way, I actually feel lucky that even though I was a Harry Potter fan from early on, I didn't find fandom and fic until later, after the series was complete. Because I know so many people who were already writing fic during the series (e.g. during the wait between GoF and OotP, or OotP and HBP) and then the later books came along and crushed headcanons, or outright killed off favorite characters (ahem). Since I was writing fic later, I was working with a complete canon (at least until JKR started churning out all this new stuff, which we don't talk about!) Canon was set, and I could work with it or against it, but I didn't have to watch what-we-thought-might-become-canon being destroyed. I'm grateful for that! I know it can be really fun to write speculatively while a canon is still unfolding, but it can also be really crushing (I've since had that experience - canons that were not yet complete when I was writing (e.g. BBC Sherlock) - and it's no fun at all, at least if the creators end up destroying what the fans had thought the point of the show was. Anyway. I digress!)

You're right about some of the themes that maybe didn't get addressed enough in HP... I mean, I love everything JKR does in the series about tolerance and fighting bigotry, but there are definitely ways she's too black and white about it (all Slytherins are evil?) and there's a sense at the end, especially in the epilogue, that the underlying attitudes may not have changed all that much. A lot of my post-canon fic seems to circle back to that, how things aren't all fixed just because there was a war, and the work people have to put in to build a better society.

ANYWAY. Yes, I love how Harry Potter fandom keeps sprouting new parts and fests and interests, even after all this time. It really seems like a fandom that need never end, no matter how much time passes since publication, because there's always more to ponder.

Thank you for this wonderful response, too. First of all, for the praise for my username. I am glad I managed to keep some distance between my fandom identity and my main viewpoint character, by at least not using his or his lover’s name. Paula is not my real name either. It derives from Paul Simon and another Paul, an aspiring American poet I met some ten years before meeting Remus. ANYWAY.

I’m happy you can feel grateful for entering this fandom late. There was some sadness in those days when writers and readers let their (favourite) stories be crushed. I was too addicted to mine to let that happen, but I remember channelling energy to trying to make people agree that HBP did not prove that Remus loved Tonks or that he hadn’t loved Sirius romantically. In any case, since I was still in the (unexpectedly long) process of writing a story set in autumn 1996, I had to defend its value as an AU or book-one-to-five-compliant fic, and hope some readers would stay interested.

I’d definitely be curious to have a look at a (post-canon) fic by you, if you want to give me a link in turn. We seem to share interest in such themes as building a better society.

Did you ever read Copperbadge's fics? He went through a similar journey of writing an epic-length series, basically a parallel version of the entire HP series, that then became more and more AU as the later books of canon were published. He also was increasingly frustrated with the later books, unfortunately to the point that he abandoned HP fandom entirely. But he's still one of my favorite fic writers, especially of Remus/Sirius.

I've definitely had a different trajectory than what you describe, especially in terms of reaction to HBP; I was always a hewing-exceedingly-close-to-canon fic writer (the fun of fic to me, especially at first, was that delightful challenge of delving deeper into a character, but making it work within the framework of what we already knew from canon; I'm literally the kind of person who spends days researching the exact layout of 12 Grimmauld Place, or compiling an enormous timeline of the exact order in which every single thing happened in OotP...) and only more recently did I dare to branch out into (magical) AUs at all, or even to write pairings that aren't technically canon. So because I loved Remus, of course I wrote Remus, so naturally my main pairing of interest was Remus/Tonks, because I was coming to this after the canon was complete and that's the canon pairing. (And honestly there's so much there to write, if you're interested in exploring characters but making it work within canon... e.g. there is a LOT of work to be done in order to take the awesome characters we were given earlier in canon – and Tonks is awesome when we meet her in book 5, incredibly awesome – and keep them their awesome selves despite the travesty JKR made of them, plot-wise, in book 6. I spent years of my life doing exactly that, writing a fic that worked to stay true to Remus and Tonks as characters, and making something better and more believable out of the often stupid plot of the way JKR wrote their romance.) So in the process of that, I totally fell in love with Tonks as a character in her own right, and I still love R/T and do consider that canon. BUT I've always loved R/S too, and have somehow managed to hold both of those worlds in my head, equally beloved but not allowed to overlap at all, because neither S nor T should have to suffer in order for the other to benefit. If that makes sense.

(Post-canon fics in a separate comment, because this got accidentally long!)

Back in 2004 it seemed to me that every Remus fan knew and adored Stealing Harry, but I don’t think I read much more than the first chapter. I wasn’t so eager to invest my time in famous fics like that one or in the Shoebox Project, because I preferred seeking interaction with writers who were not too popular and therefore unable for mutual reviewing relationships with their readers. But I think I later enjoyed a shorter story by Copperbadge, and that he even replied to my comment. Anyway, Stealing Harry must have been an AU when he started it, as the first thing we learn about Sirius in canon (except that Hagrid got the motorbike from him) is that he’d been to Azkaban. But I can imagine how later canon could frustrate Copperbadge in any case.

In fact, it now seems to me that I’ve had a rather similar trajectory to yours – just enjoying the delightful challenge of delving deeper into a character, but making it work within the framework of what we already knew from canon on the basis of the five books, not all seven. The pleasure of this challenge must actually be the reason why I – having spent years of my life devoted to Revolt and related short stories, and after a long break – still write fanfiction instead of something totally new. I love continuing to build up the story without ever contradicting Rowling’s five books or anything I’ve written about my Remus’s world before (or what we’ve called head canon here). For the short stories I’ve written this year, I’ve also researched the calendar, the weather and details of the culture so as not to contradict the reality of 1970’s Britain either.

Even though Remus was not (in my view) made into a travesty in OotP yet, I was disappointed with how little we saw of him, having missed him since PoA. I wanted to know him better, and after HBP I was just more determined to make something better and more important of his role – and to stick to my version of werewolves, not allowing a completely repulsive monster to represent them. I’ve already figured out you’ve done something along those lines, too – making not only the R/T romance better but also minor characters (including not-fully-human ones) and the wider plot dealing with social and political issues more nuanced.

I’m thrilled I’ve met you. I believe I could love your Tonks in addition to your Remus and Sirius. The two of us certainly share a few things in common – also accidentally long comments.

Oh, yes, Stealing Harry was definitely AU from the start. (Copperbadge pretty much only writes AUs, in any fandom!) I think it was more that he felt that the heart of canon, the handling of themes and the direction it went in with the characters, diverged too far from what he could enjoy, even as someone who already wrote AUs. (Like, uh: killing off Remus??) Something along those lines.

(Incidentally, it was another story of Copperbadge's that first inspired me to think more deeply about the werewolves and how they might have a whole culture of their own. Can dig up that rec for you, if you're interested.)

I think that determination to "make something better and more important of his role" to some degree drives all of us Remus fans. :D I mean, I understand that the narrative of the books generally needed to be elsewhere, not with Remus (most of the time it's at Hogwarts with Harry!) but yeah, Remus is such a rich character who could be so central in Harry's life, and clearly is important to the Order, and, yeah. There's so much to write about Remus. :-)

I believe I could love your Tonks in addition to your Remus and Sirius.

Thank you! I'm really flattered that you say that. R/S fandom can sometimes be vitriolic about Tonks, unfortunately, so it always feels slightly dangerous to even admit to writing Tonks! I'd actually thought of mentioning my HBP-era fic to you as well, since it's so very much about both creating a whole original culture for the werewolf pack, and also about Remus going through an arc of coming to terms with himself and his inner demons, learning to finally accept and unite the wizarding and werewolf parts of himself. But, well, novel-length Remus/Tonks fic is not necessarily the thing for an R/S fan! Which I absolutely understand. (Thank you, by the way, for your wonderful comment on its sequel! Which I will answer as soon as possible but maybe not until tomorrow, because I want to answer it when I'm awake enough to do justice to such a wonderfully in-depth comment.)

Post-canon fics that touch on the need to build a better society, and how all is not better just because the war is over... This accidentally ballooned into a bunch of links, because there was no one obviously choice I could pick, but obviously I don't mean that you should look at all of these! But maybe from the description one will jump out that interests you. (It's a little hard to point to one, I realized, because the theme of “there’s still a whole lot to do to rebuild wizarding society” mostly comes up as one thread within larger fics.)

Looking at it now, I suppose a lot of my post-canon fics are about characters dealing on a more personal level with the trauma of the war, e.g. More Than This World Can Contain, which focuses on various secondary characters (Cho, Dean, Viktor, etc.) rebuilding their lives after the war. Or Chambers, which is about Ginny doing the same – but also has Hermione right at the start of her arc of figuring out how to tackle the underlying prejudices that led to the war.

My headcanons about especially Andromeda and Hermione working hard to change the culture that led to the war(s) come up in various places, for example in Saying Yes (my Andromeda post-canon story). Or mentioned in the drabble collection Twenty Years On.

Or, If You’ve Got a Lantern Hold It High revisits some of the werewolves Remus met during my version of HBP, still facing prejudice but now embarking on the slow work of integrating werewolf and human society. (A werewolf child goes to Hogwarts!)

Thank you for your bunch of links! I admire you for having delved into various canon characters. I think I can understand what you mean with not knowing exactly where to point me to look for the theme we talked about. Over the years I’ve been happy to mention – and happier when a reader has mentioned – some significant themes (related to the society) in my fic, but the post-OotP novel is basically about Remus’s personal and social development, which leads him to defend his fellow creatures’ rights, too, while he’s dealing with his hardships and losses.

Yes, I’m addicted to Remus, and I couldn’t resist picking first your last link. I’ve already read the first chapter, and I’m not disappointed to see that this fic’s actually about other werewolves and about multicultural life after his death (as I must accept that in your seven-books-consistent world he had to die in 1998). I’m going to post a comment on AO3, but I want to say here that I’m ever more thrilled. The wonderful new fandom friend with whom I can have these discussions writes fiction, too, excellently. Do I dare hope you’ll have time to read something by me so that we could discuss both your fic and mine?

Thank you so much for checking out that fic! That one, and the characters in it, are dear to my heart. Thank you for all your kind words!

And yes, I absolutely want to read some of your fic. I'm just trying not to make any promises about how soon/quickly I'll be able to do the things I want to do, because my available time is so unpredictable right now. (As you can probably see from how sporadically I'm answering or not answering these comments...) In November I was writing a lot to meet a writing goal, and as a result getting particularly excited about a lot of fandom things, including re-finding this fest...and now it's December and I really ought to be turning my attention back elsewhere, but meanwhile both this fest and another one I care about a lot are posting simultaneously, and I feel I should be reading and commenting on everything but in reality don't have time for anything. Yikes! The perils of loving too many things. :D

But BTW meanwile I'm going to add you as a friend here on DW – we clearly have a lot in common. :-)

Thank you for adding! I’ve added you back – and today on live journal, too, although I understand you don’t use it much, and I’ve now decided to post my fic to AO3, starting with the recent ones. Oh, a mention in your lj profile made me think you might like to start (whenever you do that) from a fic by me about Luna and Remus, Challenges Like These (set in December 1993, and only 1350 words), if not from my Small Gift.

I’m happy to get to know characters dear to your heart – because when a writer doesn’t just play with characters (those who were originally Rowling’s, or OCs) but treats them with compassion and lets them have dignity, they can live in my mind and reach my heart, too.

I suppose I’m also happy with not too many promises. It’s been fun to say hi to everyone here and to comment on gift fic and some other stories by people I’ve met, but I must persevere and continue to love my own writing myself, even though I believe that fiction and all art should be interaction.

Excellent, thank you! I was actually going to ask if you wanted to link to a short story, since unfortunately I just don't have time to tackle a novel-length fic right now. (I haven't yet read a SINGLE thing in Small Gifts OR in the other fest I love that's posting right now, argh! Things that I love and want to shower enthusiastic comments all over, but life just isn't allowing for it right now.)

Added you back on LJ too! (Though it's true that at this point I pretty much only use it to automatically mirror all my posts from Dreamwidth. And that mostly out of nostalgia, because LJ is where I started in fandom, so I just couldn't bring myself to delete it even when everyone else was switching to DW and deleting LJ.)

Hi! I'm very interested in the books you listed! I've always wanted to get into the raven cycle but I find the writing really hard to follow. What's your favorite things about the series?

I loved the movie CMBYN but the book was just all right lol.

Ooh! What a good question! I suppose my favorite thing about The Raven Cycle is the characters (if that's not such a broad statement as to be completely banal). I ended up desperately committed to this band of friends and the intense bond/friendship/love between them. That combined with the atmosphere/world of the series – there's something so seductive about it. I honestly felt I hadn't been so deeply sucked into a world since Harry Potter. Even though TRC is on a much smaller scale (basically set in one single town, rather than the fairly broad world the HP books eventually expand to) it felt like a world where one could write endless fic, and never run out of possibilities.

It sounds like your complaints about The Raven Cycle are different from my complaints (and I definitely have complaints!) but I'll say just in case it's relevant or interesting to you:

- When I first read the first book of the series, I wasn't captivated at all. It was fine, the story was good and some of the characters were interesting, but nothing about it made me want to commit to the series and keep reading.
– A year or two later, I finally circled back and gave the series another try (read book 2, then realized I need to go back and refresh my memory of book 1 first) and completely lost my heart to it, as described above! By the end of the third book, I was like, yes, I want to stay immersed in this world forever! I'm going to reread the whole series as soon as I've finished it the first time, to catch all those wonderful little details in the earlier books that mean so more once you know the later ones!
- ...And then I read the fourth and final book, which I found an utter, utter letdown. Totally unworthy of the epic heights of all that came before it. Couldn't decide what to think, because I still loved and wanted to reread the series, and yet hated this part of it. Where do you go from there? I'm actually now doing a series reread after all (and, predictably, have stalled at the point where I should start book 4!) so clearly I am still conflicted.

And that's probably WAY more than you ever wanted to know, but it was such an inspiring question! :D

Wow ... you make me want to read the series! lol

I know a lot of people who love those books and I think there's a m/m canon pairing?

Do you read a lot of YA? If so, you should read the cruel prince!

Oh gosh, yes, so much YA! But somehow I haven't yet read much or any Holly Black, so I'll add that to my list. :-)

(Oh, and yes, The Raven Cycle has a canonical M/M pairing! It unfolds really wonderfully over the course of the whole series. Book 2 especially is about one character coming to understand not just his sexuality but many other things about himself as well; I think of a book 2 as a wonderfully complex study of masculinity, and all the different things that can mean, across several different characters who are all coming of age and figuring out who they're going to be as adults.)

Hi! I’m glad you found us. You’re on the PH list. ;) I didn’t know fanfic was something that existed before a friend sent it to me. R/S was definitely the first thing I read, and all I read (that and other pairings or gen set in their era). LOL, I am imagining what the desert island where you can only write one pairing would be like. It’s amazing and delightful that people still want to join this little fest after all these years. Welcome!

Hi, yay, thank you!

And funny thing, but, SAME: as described above in response to Maggie, I literally learned about fanfic because a friend sent it to me. Specifically, she sent me an academic article *about* Harry Potter fic, and I thought, huh, that sounds interesting! So I went looking for fic...and never stopped.

A desert island where you can only write one pairing... I don't know why that's the image my mind came up with, but it makes me laugh.

And I have to admit, I think I never joined Small Gifts before (even though I knew about it via huldrejenta, who I betaed for a couple of times here and was glad to be involved in that small way) because it came so soon after the R/S Games, which I was involved in for a few years (in fact, almost always as a pinch hitter, so my R/S Games writing window happened even later in the year than everyone else's!) And I generally wrote really long, ambitious R/S Games fics, and had kind of wiped out my energy by the end of that.

So I feel a little bad that I always passed you by, and I'm glad to be here now. :-)

Cool to meet you from someone else who came late to fandom and is new to this fest. I too am glad it's still going strong.

Hi! Yeah, I always seem to stumble across fannish things late, so it really delights me when something good is actually still going by the time I get there. Nice to meet you!

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Countdown to Small Gifts 1/3: Introductions

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