Fic: No Man's Land for chaperoned

[ladyblack888.livejournal.com]

Title: No Man's Land

Author: ladyblack888

Written for: chaperoned

Rating: Hard R/NC17

Prompt: #3: Having dinner at 3 am.

Summary: We finished school and the world should be our oyster, but instead we're stuck in the middle of a war.

Any other notes, warnings, etc.: You said you like pre-Azkaban, and it is, and weird-ass kinks, psico-babbles about life and The Cars 'Just what I needed'. There are bits of the lyrics in their 'existentialistic' dialogue, but the kinks just didn't work in the setting. There's bathroom!sex, though. Hope you like it. ♥
Thanks pre_raphaelite1 for the whippinghand-holding and great beta and wildestranger for the britpick.


Sirius parks his motorbike a few blocks away and walks through Muggle London. It's not that he doesn't understand Dumbledore's reasonings, the not using magic unless they're in the safety of the Wizarding World or in the middle of a battle. Having his magical signature traced by a group of Death Eaters is the last thing he wants, right now, but he hates not being able to fly his bike.

Especially since driving it means he has arrived much later than he would have. Through the glass doors of the shady all-night take away he checks the time on a plastic, greasy-looking wall clock. Three o'clock in the morning. Half an hour late. It could be worse.

He pushes the door to walk inside and he's greeted with a cheery chime that catches him by surprise. The street where the take away is is dark and gloomy and narrow and outside the winter weather freezes him to the bones. But inside it's insufferably warm and clammy and the bright bluish lights almost blind him.

A policeman is happily chatting with the big man behind the counter and a tiny old woman stares into space in one of the booths, a cuppa in front of her. In another booth a young couple in black leather and torn jeans sleeps, her bright hair tickling the safety pin in his nose. Remus is sitting in the last booth, with a half-eaten sandwich and poking the chips on a plate, eyebrows raised, like he's reading his future in greasy strips of potato.

Sirius grins at him.

'I guess I need a Marauder's map for Muggle London.'

'Thought that was what happened.' Remus smiles, even if he still seems fascinated with the limp, white and oily chips. 'It's a pity, though, because I really have to leave in an hour or so. I've been to…' He pauses and raises his eyes from the plate apologetically. 'Some places. And Dumbledore wants us to talk.'

'It doesn't matter where you've been. You came anyway, you're here, that's what matter. We're not spending Christmas night alone.'

Remus snorts.

'Right, just as cosy and homely as the one James and Lily are having.'

'They're going to have a baby in the middle of this. Lily is going hormonal in the middle of this. Let them recover from the shock.' They both laugh.

There's a pause in the conversation in which Sirius ask for a ham sandwich and soda ('Don't order chips, I'm not sure what this thing that's oozing from them is') and Remus orders coffee. They eat and drink in silence, half comfortable, because they've known each other forever, half awkward, because it's been so long since they've last seen each other.

'You've heard about the Bones?'

Sirius nods.

'The whole family. While they where at home, right?'

'Amelia found the bodies some three days later,' Remus says. 'She only went there because it was one of the children's birthday. The boy would be turning eleven. He'd be going to Hogwarts next year.'

'Regulus died.'

Sirius can almost hear Remus' head snapping up, his eyes wide and his mouth open, like he's searching for something to say. But he stares right into his eyes, daring Remus to say anything, to say he's sorry, to make him feel what he doesn't want to feel. Sirius sneers.

'Great way to start the new decade, isn't it?'

'How-- How did it happen?'

'No one knows.' Sirius just shrugs. 'Apparently he regretted what he was doing and apparently it was too late for that. Details are unknown.'

'And how do you…'

Sirius cuts him off before he can go on.

'This is all a pile of shit! We were supposed to have started our lives last year! We finished school and the world should be our oyster, but instead we're stuck in the middle of a war…' He lowers his voice at Remus' sign. '… We're stuck in the middle of a war, and there are children dying, little boys who were going to start Hogwarts.' A pause. 'Little boys who had just finished Hogwarts.'

He lights up a cigarette and stares angrily at a spot behind Remus' shoulder like it's about to hex him. Minutes pass by, the punk boy shoves his girlfriend and rubs his nose in his sleep, the policeman leaves and the old woman continues to stare into space before Sirius speaks again.

'I really don't want us to be us, right now.'

'I know.'

'I don't want to not be able to know what happened to Regulus. I don't want you to go around on missions not knowing if you return. I don't want Peter going to St. Mungo's and to Gringotts and talk to people, so his mum will be taken care of if something happens to him. I don't want James and Lily trying to make ends meet in the middle of fucking hell.'

'I know.'

'I don't want us to spend Christmas night here.' He shrugs. 'At least we're doing something.'

'We are? How's so?'

Sirius frowns at the question.

'These people… They're staring at their own navels. And they go home and tomorrow they go on with their lives… They don't know, as we do, that there are powers they can't understand plotting to kill them all. At least we know what lies ahead. Even if it's not that much, we're doing something. We have some control.'

'Still, how different is it dying as a hero in a war or dying from a stroke sitting on the loo, like that guy behind the counter probably is going to? In the end… it's just that!'

'Positive forces and all that?'

Remus shifts in his seat and crosses his arms, looking away.

'I understand that, I do, just… Normalcy's a bit underrated, isn't it? You and I, we never had that. A normal family.' He looks pointedly at Sirius. 'Normal health. And like you said: we weren't supposed to be doing this after Hogwarts. Just for once I'd like to have a hand at it. At normalcy.'

Without thinking, Sirius reaches over to grab his hand, but Remus flinches away and looks around annoyed. Sirius lets his hand fall on the table and the silence falls on them again, this time completely awkward.

Suddenly he gets up.

'I'm going to the loo.'

'You do that. I'm going to pay my part,' Remus says, just as sudden.

'Right. And I'll be there, in the loo… Right.'

Sirius all but flees, kicking the door to the toilets and closing it behind him. The place is small, with just one stall, smelling of stale beer and old piss, tiles broken everywhere. He catches his reflection in the blotched mirror, but turns away, because seeing himself under that cold flickering light makes him think of Regulus, and that's the last thing he wants. He leans against one of the walls, counting the time with his heartbeat, faster and faster, each minute feeling like an hour. He had come there thinking, hoping that the reason Remus flinched away had been the place. But apparently it was because the last time they were together, months before, they hadn't done any girly stuff, like talking. Talking about them, about the two of them, what they were, and now he had made a fool of himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid, stupid, and he marks each insult by hitting the back of his head against the wall.

'Your sense of romance has always been surprising, Sirius.'

Remus is leaning against the door, grinning.

'Rooms and beds, totally overrated, don't you think?' And then, 'What took you so long?'

Remus frowns slightly, seemingly bemused.

'Some problem with the change. I guess I'm not as good with pounds and pence as I thought I was.'

Sirius lets out a huff of relieved laughter and walks up to him slowly, almost counting each step.

'I know you've places to be and Dumbledore is waiting for you, but…'

'I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time.' Remus leans forward, his voice lower. 'Because when you're standing so near I lose my mind.'

'Fuck.' And Sirius is grabbing his face and kissing his mouth, biting him until he's out of breath. And Remus is pushing him into the lonely stall and pressing him against the wall, closing the door behind them with his foot.

Without breaking the kiss, with Remus' hands everywhere on his body, Sirius manages to undo both their trousers, making them laugh into each other mouths. Remus turns him around and pulls his trousers down. Sirius, with his check pressed against a wall that, in any other situation, he wouldn't even come near, hears Remus spit before grabbing his arse.

Voldemort could come, flanked by the entire House of Black, with the punk boy kicking the door down, that Sirius wouldn't care. His world is now the familiar stretch and burn in his arse, that sets every single one of his nerve ends on fire, Remus thrusting into him long and slow.

'I guess you're just what I needed,' he gasps.

'What?'

'Nothing. Just fuck me. Harder. Faster.'

Remus grabs his face and turns it around so he can kiss him. Sirius braces himself on one arm and wraps the other hand around his cock, and Remus his fucking him faster, hips snapping against his buttocks, the fingers of one hand digging into his face, the other into his hip. They groan and gasp into each other mouths until Sirius starts crying and comes, Remus shuddering and pressing him against the wall.

There's the no magic policy and they're sweaty and Sirius has spunk running down his thighs. But the world is theirs, right there, in that ugly loo with laughter and toilet paper everywhere.

Sirius leaves first, so he can pay. He'd gladly pay for Remus', but he knows that Remus' money is actually mostly James and he knows how he would take it.

They're outside, now, and it's cold and dark again, the war escalating while little children sleep clutching their Christmas presents.

'Want me to take you anywhere?'

'No need. The Apparitation point is just round the corner.'

Sirius pulls Remus forward by the coat to brush his lips against his.

'Stay safe,' Remus tells him when he crosses the road. Sirius doesn't hear him whisper 'Please.'

The End