Oh my god, I relate to this sooooo hard. Fandom helped me work myself out, too. Finding my way into fandom and finding out there were so many more options than I had originally thought there were. It took me until I was 30 years old to figure out that you could be asexual without needing to also be aromantic and that's why I was so damned uncomfortable with myself... because I was in fact one and not the other. Fandom and the people I met through it (as well as a lot of fic exposure) helped me come to terms with that about myself and I am much healthier mentally for it.