*exhales* wow. This is stunning. Quite literally, as in I had to remember to breathe there at the end.
claiming that one could never have too many brands and don’t be ridiculous Remus. This had ended when their budget ran out, and they both had had to live on 20 pence noodles for the rest of the month. -- I like Sirius as the tea aficionado. Also, on a purely writing note, I love how you started that first bit with a formalish indirect statement (claiming that one...) and then just stuck on Sirius' direct thought at the end (don't be ridiculous). That kind of nonstandard thing just screams SIRIUS at me (plus I just think it's a nice poetic way to phrase things anyway).
Though to tell the truth, that happened at the same time as the last example, so it should perhaps not be treated as a separate incident. -- *gigglesnort*
and Remus would not for the world admit that he might have helped cause this little drama on purpose. -- YES. Yes, good. So very Remus.
And now it is ‘Padfoot’, and Sirius smiles like the sun. -- Sirius using knitting as a way to lessen everyone's tension is a stroke of genius on your part.
“It’s not dangerous.” “No.” “It’s useful.” “Yes.” “It looks... Are you sure you made this?” -- Perfect Lily is perfect.
and he is suddenly very aware that everyone else must be celebrating today. -- Whoa, this never occurred to me... D: </3
He finds three empty cups to bring to the kitchen, nearly seven spoons. -- It's little details like this, even (especially) in dramatic and/or angsty moments, that make your writing top-notch.
And hidden in a drawer, a half-finished jumper with the letters R.J.L spelled in white. -- *offers you the powdered remnants of her heart*
So. This was beautiful. I genuinely laughed at it, the characters were solid, 3D, and *right*, and the ending was heartwrenching but tender and gorgeous all the same. *applauds*
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claiming that one could never have too many brands and don’t be ridiculous Remus. This had ended when their budget ran out, and they both had had to live on 20 pence noodles for the rest of the month. -- I like Sirius as the tea aficionado. Also, on a purely writing note, I love how you started that first bit with a formalish indirect statement (claiming that one...) and then just stuck on Sirius' direct thought at the end (don't be ridiculous). That kind of nonstandard thing just screams SIRIUS at me (plus I just think it's a nice poetic way to phrase things anyway).
Though to tell the truth, that happened at the same time as the last example, so it should perhaps not be treated as a separate incident. -- *gigglesnort*
and Remus would not for the world admit that he might have helped cause this little drama on purpose. -- YES. Yes, good. So very Remus.
And now it is ‘Padfoot’, and Sirius smiles like the sun. -- Sirius using knitting as a way to lessen everyone's tension is a stroke of genius on your part.
“It’s not dangerous.”
“No.”
“It’s useful.”
“Yes.”
“It looks... Are you sure you made this?” -- Perfect Lily is perfect.
and he is suddenly very aware that everyone else must be celebrating today. -- Whoa, this never occurred to me... D: </3
He finds three empty cups to bring to the kitchen, nearly seven spoons. -- It's little details like this, even (especially) in dramatic and/or angsty moments, that make your writing top-notch.
And hidden in a drawer, a half-finished jumper with the letters R.J.L spelled in white. -- *offers you the powdered remnants of her heart*
So. This was beautiful. I genuinely laughed at it, the characters were solid, 3D, and *right*, and the ending was heartwrenching but tender and gorgeous all the same. *applauds*